STDs / STIs Community
39.1k Members
Avatar universal

No diagnosis for my symptoms...very scared it's HIV

Hi.  I am a 28 year old male.  I recently had unprotected sex with a questionable woman in her early thirties.  It was about four weeks ago.  About a day after, I noticed a large lump on my penis, in between the head and the foreskin.  There are two other smaller bumps next to it.  They are not painful and have not changed much in four weeks.

I immediately saw a doctor who told me it wasn't anything sexually transmitted.  He said it looked like a bacterial infection.  He gave me antibiotics and an over the counter cream.  I had blood work done for everything, and it all came back negative.  After about ten days, there was no change in my symptoms, so I went back.  He gave me a steroid cream.  Again, no change.  So I went to a free clinic and had another doctor look at it.  He took one look and said, "That's herpes.  Sorry."  

Needless to say I was freaked out.  So I got an appointment with a very reputable doctor.  He examined me more closely and carefully than the other two doctors, and said it didn't look like anything sexually transmitted.  He said I didn't have any of the classis symptoms of herpes and that they didn't look like genital warts.  He put me on antibiotics.  I took four of them at once and he advised me to keep using the cream.  That was five days ago.  He said that it may take ten days and if symptoms hadn't gone down, to come back in.  It's been five days, and now the symptoms haven't gone down and there's even a new spot that looks like a mole on the head of my penis.  It does not resemble the other three areas.  He did a culture and blood work for herpes, but I haven't heard the results yet.

To make matters worse, the woman I had sex with has been defensive and has said that she didn't give me anything.  However, she was not aware that it's possible to have an STD and pass it on even if you don't have symptoms.  She says that she has never had any symptoms.  Her lack of knowledge scares me.  What's worse is that she told me she hadn't had an HIV test in almost four years.  She said she's had unprotected sex since then, but with people she has trusted.  She also told me Monday that her latest pap smear indicated that she has either HPV or cervical cancer.  

I am very, very scared.  I'm worried that I had an small open cut or something on my penis right before we had sex (we were on a beach and the sand may have irritated my skin).  None of the treatments have had any noticeable effect on the bumps, which remain unpainful and occasionally look like they have some puss in the center, almost like pimples but not quite.  

My biggest concern is that she has HIV and that I got it, and that's why my symptoms haven't responded to any treatment.  Also, I had an ingrown hair on my arm that I popped that got infected and hasn't healed in a few days.  That is very unusual for me.  I gave blood on five days ago, and yesterday I noticed a bruise on my arm where the needle had been injected.  That is also very unusual for me.  

I have been very scared for a few days now and it's starting to take a toll on me.  I am a full time college student and I haven't been able to go to many of my classes, because I am pacing up and down in my apartment and feeling my heart banging like a drum in my chest.

She goes to get tested for everything in about six days.  I didn't want to wait, so at 26 days after exposure I went to get another HIV test.  That was yesterday and I am waiting for the results.  Now I'm worried that the antibiotics I took may cause a false positive, if in fact I do not have it.

So I am very frightened and nervous.  I don't really have anyone to talk to.  My roommate has been very supportive but he just keeps reassuring me that I don't have HIV, and that at the very worst, I have HPV or herpes.  I want to believe that I don't have HIV, but I'm very concerned by this woman's lack of concern for herself and her daughter, and for me.  I don't understand why she would have unprotected sex and not get an HIV test.  I am ashamed of myself for the decision I made.  I realize that whatever it is, I have to live with it, but I'm getting so concerned because no one can tell me for sure, and I have to wait longer for a more accurate HIV test.  In the meantime, I'm having trouble sleeping, concentrating, and even talking to my family.  I'm worried that I'm at an extremely high risk for HIV.  I don't know what to do.  Please, if you have any similar situations, please let me know.  Thank you.
1 Responses
Avatar universal
This is not the Dr's form, you should post this question in the Dr's form if you want it will cost $15 or the HIV form.

To help you out some, if and that is a big if, but if you had HIV you would not be having these symptoms. If you get any symptoms for HIV they are not as quick as you describe.
I think it is only about 1% or less of the population have HIV, so just your chances of getting HIV are low due to that fact. And if you look at the cases of heterosexual women with HIV in there 30's your chances would be even lower. yes the woman and yourself should make better choices and have protected sex but nothing you can do now.

You really have to wait about 3 months i believe is the correct time table for a accurate result for an HIV test. I have not heard of a medication giving a false positive but I am not well versed on HIV so I really can't say one way or another.

What I would like you to do is to calm down and get to class. At this point you can not do anything but focus on your future and that means going to class and study. Occupy your free time with other things so you don't think about it. Then after 3 months get tested or if that woman gets her test results back you can put your mind at ease.

If you need someone to talk to send me a message. I am not an expert on the subject but I can do what I can to help you out. I know it is very stressful going to college and now your head is worring about HIV and STD's. But like I said get that worry out of your head and get to class.
Have an Answer?
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Here are 16 facts you need to know to protect yourself from contracting or spreading a sexually transmitted disease.
How do you keep things safer between the sheets? We explore your options.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A breakthrough study discovers how to reduce risk of HIV transmission by 95 percent.
Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia provides insight to the most commonly asked question about the transfer of HIV between partners.
The warning signs of HIV may not be what you think. Our HIV and STD expert Sean Cummings reports in-depth on the HIV "Triad" and other early symptoms of this disease.