Please help me

[debbie9]

Hi all, please help.  During a really tough time with my marriage I had a very short affair, lasting 3 months and having unprotected oral and penetrative sex for maybe 4-6 weeks.  Last exposure was 5.5 weeks after he should be a chest and arm rash which I googled and looked like hiv/syphilis rash.  I had total anxiety and nearly had a nervouse breakdown.  I haven't spoken to him since.

History;

1 week post exposure. Insti, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gon - Negative
3 weeks post exposure. Insti AND Duo, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gon - Negative
4 weeks post exposure. Duo, Syphilis - Negative (taken with you).

1) I remember having a spot at the lower entrance to my vagina which I didn't think anything of at the time (would have been about 6-7 weeks before taking the syphilis test with you at 28 days since last exposure - returned negative).  Do you think I should retest?  I know its recommended  AT LEAST 4 weeks p.e. I can't get Syphilis out of my head because of his rash and my spot.  

2) Although I've tested negative for Chlamydia and Gonerrhea at 1 and 3 weeks, I still have a abdominal pain, emphasised with deep breath and more pronounced on rhs,  My skin is sore where my legs meet my groin - although no redness or blisters on skin.  While I was having the relationship, I remember I had a really bad bout of what i thought was cystisis (I went through 2 over the counter cystitis relief packages)  after some really deep penetrative sex - could this have resulted in a PID or could another STD have caused this and now my abdominal pain?  Its hard to explain but I sometimes get a tingling feeling behind my clitoris which feels like cystitis but it doesn't hurt anymore when I pass urine.

3)  When I saw the GUM Dr, I explained the fact I got SEVERE oral thrush (or so i thought) w/c 12th.  He prescribed Nystatin and and Oral thrush tablet as he thought it was a yeast infection and anxiety induced.  It still hasn't gotten better.  Should I be testing for an oral std?  I assumed as I had 4 week relationship with unprotected oral/penetrative sex that if I didn't have Chlaymida/Gon down there i wouldn't have it orally?  Does this make sense?  Could my oral problems be something else?  Perhaps Strep as my son had Scarlet Fever?

4) What else should I be tested for?  I still just don't feel well.  To make it worse, hubby woke up this morning at 5am with night sweats, went to the bathroom and fainted.  He's also been vomiting all day.  I am begging that I haven't passed anything onto him :(

I'm sorry to be a big pain in the backside and you having to read a novel, but something is definitely wrong and its not just anxiety..I just need help in finding out what.  Is there a prescription that I could take that would pretty much kill all bacterial infection e.g. strep mouth, pid etc?  Is this a quicker resolution?

[2terrified]

No. There isn't anything else to test for at this point. You should consider visiting the anxiety forum since you have other issues surrounding your affair. Good luck to you.

[debbie9]

Thanks guys. Here in the UK we are advised that an hiv duo at 28 days can be considered conclusive.  Just wondering if there is anything else I should get tested for :( I did think perhaps symptoms were anxiety fuelled but I definitely do have dull/mild abdominal pain and my tongue really does hurt. I had to take my own swab could it be I did it wrobg both times?

I take what you said about the affair. My husband went through a period where he was quite abusive.that's mo excuse and I've learnt my lesson ten times over.

[mboy14]

I think you should talk to your partner in the affair and maybe ask him to get tested. Tell him the situation you are in and the anxiety you are facing. If he has any sort of heart, he will get the tests done and tell you his results.
Remember this anxiety when you think about an affair again... its really not worth it.

[2terrified]

For HIV, you would be better off in the HIV forum.  But if I am correct, it is much easier to for a woman to get HIV from a man than it is for a man to get it from a woman.  The chances of you getting chlamydia orally whether or not you have it vaginally is very very low.  It is very unlikely to transmit orally.  You have been testing way too early for syphilis.  It takes at least 6 weeks for antibodies to develop and show a positive test.

Other than that, it would seem more like you are indeed experiencing severe anxiety over your infidelity.  You should either confess or find a way to go on after you get your final round of testing for syphilis.  You definitely do not have chlamydia or gonorrhea.

[mboy14]

Your Chlamydia and Gonorrhea tests are conclusive. You do not have it.
If you want to test for it orally, do it. Better to know now, but if you did not have it vaginally, it is not likely that you have it orally.
PID is a complication if you have chlamydia and leave it untreated, so if you did not have it, you most likely do not have PID.
Test at 6 weeks for syphilis and HIV. then test again for HIV at 3 months.
If you do not have HIV after 6 weeks, there is like a 99% chance you will not have it.
I think a lot of this has to do with anxiety. I went through a bout if anxiety about HIV a few months ago and the anxiety made me feel like I had symptoms that were not there.
Talk to your ex partner, maybe he will get tested and can relieve a lot of your anxiety?
other than that I do not know what else to say.
You do not have Gon. or chlamydia, so don't worry about those. Plus syphilis is really rare in the US so that should not be a big worry. The last thing I can say about HIV is to try and relax. HIV is extremely hard to get even when your having unprotected sex with a HIV+ person unprotected. Your partner probably does not have it, but go at 6 weeks and take a blood test for HIV and Syphilis.
If you do not want to go through this again, do not cheat on your husband.