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Rash after Unprotected Oral Sex and Guidance

Hello Community,

I need some serious guidance. For the first time (and last time) ever I stepped out of my marriage and had unprotected oral sex performed on me by a woman I met online who was also married.  This was back on October 17th.  It was stupid and wrong!  3 to 3.5 weeks later I felt a bit of discomfort from my penis.  Around the same time I used a Fleshlight sex toy two nights in a row on myself.  Anyways, my wife travels a lot.  We had one incidence of unprotected oral and vaginal sex.  About 24 hours later she complained of a weird sore throat.  This lasted a week but seemed to eventually have cold like symptoms accompany it.  When she mentioned this I got scared that I may have caught something and began my lengthy anxiety driven doctor visits and STD testing spree.  I also noticed a rash on my penis that was from the underside of the corona to where my skin bunches up when I am flaccid, I am uncircumcised.  The "rash" has been with me now for 3 months.  

I went through stdtestexpress.com and was tested for everything at 4.5 weeks post potential exposure.  Negative for Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, HIV, HSV 1, HSV 2, Syphilis and the Hepatitises.  This was via urine and blood work.  I went to my GP, I did not tell them of my encounter but asked if I could get a urine culture done.  They did it and it was clean.  I came back for blood work and told them I wanted STD testing.  This was at 7.5 weeks post encounter.  They asked if I was monogamous with my wife and I lied and said yes but was tested for HIV, HSV 1, HSV 2, Gonorrhea, Chlamdiya and Syphilis again.  All negative.  They did notice a rash and sent me to a dermatologist.

I went to the dermatologist and showed them the "rash" and told them of my STD testing.  Again I lied and did not tell them of my encounter.  They looked at it, said it did not look to be sexually related and gave me hydrocortisone butyrate 0.1%.  I applied that twice a day for 2 weeks with little or no effect.  On a follow up appointment another dermatologist looked at it and said... Your penis looks fine to me, if there is something it should resolve itself within a week to several months.

Still be concerned I tested for Syphilis and HSV 1 and HSV 2 again (IgG tests) all negative.  I took another Gonorrhea and Chlamdiya test at 16 weeks all negative.  I went to a urologist, again completely ashamed of my encounter I did not mention my encounter to the doctor but I told him of all my testing.  He looked at it and said that my penis looked fine to him.  He could see some redness and told me to try an anti-fungal if I wanted but nithung concerned him.  I told him that I hadn't had sex with my wife since I started my testing tirade.  Again he did not know of my encounter but told me to use my penis.

I followed up with another dermatologist.  I told myself, "I will tell this doctor of the encounter."  During the examination he looked over my whole body.  Said everything looked fine and he thought my penis looked normal.  I told him of all my testing and he said, "Why are you testing?  You aren't doing anything weird outside your marriage are you?"  When he said that I clammed up and said no.

So here I am.  19 weeks post encounter.  I have never had painful urination.  When I am erect my penis seems redder than normal and sometimes it even feels slightly bruised and a bit painful if I even masturbate.  I have a bunch of negative tests but my penis does not feel the same.  I used to masturbate a lot and it felt great.  Now sometimes the skin feels painful to the point where I don't even want to do that.  I haven't had sex (protected or otherwise) with my wife since due to this fear that I may give something to her despite my negative tests.

I know this sounds stupid.  I would rather live with the guilt of my actions then tell my wife what I did.  I am too afraid to lose her.  We have had relationship issues and we don't have kids.  I know this doesn't justify my actions but again as messed up as it sounds, I do love her, I don't want to loose her.  I wish life was just back to normal for me.  I am trying to put this behind me but my penis feels a bit different now so it is hard to.  

I am on the fence for testing one more time for HIV or herpes 1 or 2.  The "rash" has never had any lesions that I am aware of.  Should I test again?  Could this 3+ month sensation on my penis be related to the stupid thing I did back on October 17th?  I have never had a cold sore in my life that I am aware of.  Side note when I started testing I contacted the woman that I had this encounter with.  She tested and was negative for everything but she also told me she was in therapy due to a sex addiction.  That scared the hell out of me.  Any comments or guidance for me would be bad ***.
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Avatar universal
I meant to say would be rad!  As far as comments and stuff.  Thanks!
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Avatar universal
I think what you have here is extreme case of guilt and anxiety.  

Oral sex carries very little risk for STD, and even less for you the insertive person.  Hiv is not transmitted this way (at least there are no medically accepted HIV infections that were acquired soley to insertive oral sex)

The rest of of you tests conclusively prove you did not pick up any STD.
The main risks (Very low) would be gonorrhea and chlamydia and since you were tested negative well past the window period you cant have those either.

You probably would have noticed if she had herpes or syphilis outbreak - but any symptoms for these would already have shown.  

Bottom line - you feel guilty and somehow think you deserve a STD for your crimes.  STD's dont judge people based on their actions.  You risk was very low and your conclusive negative tests confirm your are STD free.  Stop inspecting your gentials you will always find a new pimple.  Time to move on.  Good luck
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Avatar universal
Alan thanks for the comments. I know this is anxiety driven. I will do my best to move on.  Just scared to death of harming my wife's health.  I wish I had a time machine.  I really REALLY do.  I have learned a huge lesson here.  I shouldn't of had to, but I did.  Like I said I justified my actions in October in the heat of the moment.  I was so incredibly stupid.  I do love my wife, I really do.  She doesn't deserve me. At least not now.  Alan are you a doctor?  I was looking at your other comments and you are extremely well informed.
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