Risky behaviour?

[HeatherMiss]

My husband and I have recently decided to become swingers.  Now- regardless of your moral judgement of the decision...how would you rate the risk level?

For me this would include: unprotected oral sex on men and women, sex using a latex condom and contact with seminal fluid to my eyes/nose/mouth.  

I started to read online about gonorrhea/syphalis/herpes of the eyes and mouth and now I am freaking out.  The pictures of ocular gonorrhea make me want to cry.  It wasn't until I read some of your evaluations that I realized other sources may be inflating the risks.  I'd like to be realistic but not alarmist.  I hate to admit it but I had sex with a lot of people in my teens and used no protection.  A horrible idea- but somehow I emerged unscathed (even from pregnancy).    

Prior to engaging in any of these activities I had an extensive std panel done by my doctor and I was 100% free of disease.  

[gracefromHHP]

when you swing, your risk depends  on who you are swinging with. if it's a select group of partners who don't have sex with anyone outside of their group and have had proper std testing ( herpes testing isn't typically included in std testing so you have to ask for it specifically ), your risk is low. if you plan to swing with random partners, it is a higher risk.  

condoms don't protect 100% against herpes, syphilis and hpv.  

oral sex is not safe sex either and you should be having protected oral sex unless it's a trustworthy partner who's status you are aware of.

if you plan on using sex toys with others, make sure it's clean and wasn't used on someone else or put a condom over it and change it between partners.

grace

are you going to get gonorrhea in your eye? no you are not. that's not a realistic concern at all.  

[andlim]

Hi HeatherMiss,

Unprotected oral sex is consider is least risky sexual activity. However, it is not risk-free. And, yes, to the people that perform oral sex, they can be infected with oral gonorrhea.

To be honest, having multiple partners do increase the risks of STDs compare to monogamous partners. Thus, the recommendation is to have more frequent STDs tests. And, consider using condom for oral sex too.

Thanks.