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Avatar universal

STD has taken total control of me

Anyone else out there have Molluscum Contagiosum? I have it in my Genital area and it's completely changed my life and has taken total control of me. It's a horrible virus and everyday I worry about spreading it to other parts of my body or to a loved one. I feel like I am the only one suffering from this and I just want to find healing and talk to other people who have my same condition.
7 Responses
101028 tn?1419606604
molluscum is a pretty common virus. Even kids get it without having sex. it's spread by contact. It says nothing about you morally or anything else - it's just a viral infection and a nuisance for the most part.  

Have you had it treated yet?

Avatar universal
I went to the doctor once and they did some kind of freezing treatment. I have another scheduled appointment coming up here also to get that same thing done. They are so gross looking and yes, a nuisance. They itch alot and some are like ready to pop and really red, sore and even hurt a little. Is it normal for Genital Molluscum to hurt a tiny bit? It just feels super sore. I went and bought rubbing alcohol, tea trea oil and iodine. Hopefull that will help. I've just never had anything like this before. I think I might be starting to get them other places too but I cant tell if they are Molluscum or not. The worst part about this is not knowing how I got it. My fiance has Molluscum but not nearly as bad as me, mine is bad. I've started to wash my hands like twenty times a day and use hand sanitizer after each wash.
101028 tn?1419606604
You don't have to wash your hands that often and certainly you don't need to put on santizer after you use soap and water. That's really overkill.  Just wash your hands after using the bathroom and that's fine.  

Either of you could've picked up molluscum at the gym or pool if neither of you have had other partners.  Is your partner getting his treated too?

Avatar universal
I've had other partners before, but before I started dating my fiance I was checked for all STDs and everything was negative. I've never notived any bumps at all until about six months ago and it spread quickly. I have a few on the sides of my vagina now and they are very sore.
Avatar universal
Your situation sounds a lot like how mine went. I'm replying to tell you about my experience with it so you know you're not alone:

When I was 16 or 17, my partner and I got the virus, all of the sudden, and it spread fairly quickly. He got it worse than I did. I had it on my inner thighs (very close to my underwear), I had it by my rectum, and where your panty lines are by my vagina. He was the only person I was sleeping with, I was tested before we started sleeping together (all clear) and I took his virginity, so it is still unsure how we got it. I think it was a public restroom, gym, or SOMETHING. He refused to believe that we got the virus from a public area, and accused me of being unfaithful and giving him the virus (it was especially hard because I was his first partner and it destroyed our relationship). We dated off and on solely because we had the virus, and did not want to spread it, and we did not want to face the humiliation of others finding out. Well, again it still destroyed our relationship, and we eventually split when the virus seemed to be almost gone.

It had been about a year of having the virus when I met a new guy I wanted to date. We talked about it, read everything we could online, and decided to have sex. One reason why we decided to was because I had not had any bumps for about a month or two. Well, I had one come back because I was not fully healed when I thought I was. We used condoms, he wore boxers, and I would wear underwear with a slit in it JUST IN CASE so we could be fully protected. That method seemed to work, but it was a hassle, and did not help the mood. Slowly as we continued to have sex, more and more clothing came off--he stopped wearing boxers, I stopped wearing underwear, and we still used a condom. We THOUGHT it would be okay. Needless to say, he too got the virus. Soon after, that relationship died too.

After giving it to someone and knowing it was my fault, I decided to go abstinent. I have not had any outbreaks for a couple years now. I stayed abstinent until earlier this year--by accident. I got too drunk, blacked out and slept with the guy I was talking to at the time, totally unprotected. He did not get the virus. I had the same situation happen again, and he did not get the virus either (mind you, I am not a party ****, I hit a rough patch and alcohol just happened to be my friend at the time). I also had sex with an ex of mine, he did not get the virus. I am fairly comfortable that I am not contagious anymore, but I am on this forum to find out for sure.

My MCV was painful, like you said. It was very very sore and would swell when it was irritated. I treated it by freezing them off and by keeping Aldara handy for when I thought I was starting to break out. My ex would use medical tape and put it on his bumps, I used bandages (to help stop spreading). I also used a spot acne gel stuff (it was an experiment | did because I noticed it dried out the skin) and it actually worked fairly well for me. As soon as I would see a bump starting to form, I would use the acne "overnight cure" stuff on it, and it would dry it out and be gone the next day. I do not advise doing this without talking to your dermatologist, but I am just telling you how I treated myself, and to provide an example of weird things people do when they are in a situation like this by themselves.

Having the virus was EXTREMELY difficult on me. It seemed like I couldn't date like normal people could, I felt disgusting, the scarring is completely unattractive. I couldn't talk to my best friend about it, nor my parents, at the risk of other people finding out. One of my friends had a bad breakup, they came over to a party and started freakin about how his ex gf gave him an STD. Everyone treated him differently after that. I took measures to disconnect myself from some of my friends that had found out (the guy I had infected told his best friend, and his best friend told everyone) I felt very alone and like I had this giant horrible secret. It was embarrassing going to the dermatologist, I hated going to the gyno. I stopped swimming, stopped wearing shorts, all because I had one or two scars that MIGHT be visible. However, through all the hard times, it did help my dating situation in an odd way. I would date people, and not sleep with them, even after a couple months of dating them or talking to them (yes, there are guys out there that will date you even if you arent banging them). The guys that stop calling because you arent sleeping with them are generally the ones you dont want to end up with anyways. It taught me more self control, and I was able to take dating more seriously. If I knew it wasnt going to work out, I would break it off--I didn't want to have to tell them I had MCV and risk them telling other people. You find out very quickly where your priorities lie. The biggest deal I found out about other people knowing is because people automatically assume you have herpes (which was a whole different ball game)--it is not commonly known what MCV is.

You're life is not over. It happens to people. Yeah it *****, but all you can do is figure out how you are going to manage it and move forward. Hey, at least you're not paralyzed or something.

Avatar universal
I really appreciate you sharing your story, becuase your right...it is a lot like mine. My fiance and I have seperated and arn't talking right now.
He was a virgin before he met me so he claims that I gave it to him because I had been with other people in the past. I've been with my fiance for 2 years and I started noticing the bumps about six months ago. I am so worried that people are going to find out because I told my mom and she told my dad and my brother overheard it and my fiance will probably tell his mom that I have it and gave it to him and she knows a lot of people around town and you know how rumors spread. Even when people say they won't tell anyone else they always do. If you could remember the name of that "over night acne cure" stuff that would be very helpful. I've read some forums where people have had this for like more than 5 years. It's really hurtful because I have always been faithful and I am a clean, healthy person with a child so its so frusterating. I am worried about spreading it everyday.
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