Aa
Severly depressed over encounter..
Whoever can help,
I am 35 been married for almost 10 years & have 2 children. I had 2 encounters with CSW (within few weeks of eachother) the most recent being almost 2 months ago now, the encounters were very similar and involved body to body cuddling with underwear on, then took off underwear and received oral WITH a condom from start to end. There was no kissing on the lips however she did kiss me on the cheek & over my chest, in one situation she rubbed her breasts over my testicles. From what I remember the condom did not break & stayed intact.
I felt guilty after the first encounter & thought if I had another one then it wouldn't feel as bad (don't ask how I arrived at this conclusion) the first CSW was a British girl in her 20s & 2nd was a Brazilian lady in her 40 at least. After my 2nd encounter I was suddenly overwhelmed with the guilt of my actions, as if I had suddenly realized the magnitude of what I had done! It was then a constant burden on my mind & here is the symptoms that followed..
I don't recall how soon after but I noticed a small spot on my penis right near the base, I think there was a hair growing from it so maybe a blocked hair follicle? It went down slowly and now left with a small white patch. After about a week I started getting a slight burning sensation along my penis, no discharge or pains while urinating. I called the NHS helpline who advised me to drink plenty of water as it was probably due to the hot weather & stress. I took that advice & after a couple of days it went away. Once 2 weeks had passed I went to a GUM clinic & provided a urine sample for chlamydia & gonorrhea which came back negative, huge relief! But almost after a month had passed I started getting this dull pain in my left testicle, this freaked me out again so went back to the clinic the doctor checked, typically when they they did a physical it did not cause any pain & later it went away, while I was there I provided blood for syphilis & HIV (rapid HIV test after 4 weeks?) which also came back negative. The doctor also took a 'swab' from inside the head of my penis and checked under a microscope & found nothing unusual. A week later I suddenly noticed a patch of skin on the head of my penis on the left side (size of a penny) had gone a 'shade' redder then the rest (am circumcised) I again freaked out & kept checking, over the next few days it seemed to dry a bit & crack up slightly, I went to the clinic again & the doctor checked & said its 'just dry skin' and NOT herpes which I suspected! I was given this anti-fungal cream called canestan (i think) which after a week seemed to of smoothed out the skin but sometimes it does look slightly different & now and then it does go a bit dry and flakes a bit.
Currently I am seeing a counselor as I'm severely depressed, regretful of my actions, the 'strange' dull pain in my left testicle seems to come & go and the patch of skin seems to sometimes flake a little. I also went to my GP and JUST mentioned about the dull pain/ache in testicles to which they did a urine test & found nothing, I was advised to get 'doxycycline hyclate' capsules if the pain comes back.
I have some questions if someone could kindly answer.
Did I put myself at ANY risk and why all these 'symptoms' so close to the encounter?
Since these symptoms are so close to my encounter with the CSW is it in anyway linked to the exposure? Did I get something the tests have not picked up?
I cannot test for herpes at the clinics but can pay at a private one, should I do that in case I've put myself at risk? (dont recall seeing sores on csw mouth but can't be 100% sure) and I understand its contracted via skin-to-skin as there was some cuddling involved!
I understand some of these symptoms I could be magnifying in my mind in my current state but the patch of 'dry' skin, surely can't of resulted from anxiety as its a physical symptom whilst others you could argue are in my mind? It has me quite terrified as its after this exposure!
Is there ANY chance I could pass something to my wife or children?
I am struggling to get over this I didn't realise it would effect me do much, I now realise how much my family mean to me & am terrified of destroying that.
I am 35 been married for almost 10 years & have 2 children. I had 2 encounters with CSW (within few weeks of eachother) the most recent being almost 2 months ago now, the encounters were very similar and involved body to body cuddling with underwear on, then took off underwear and received oral WITH a condom from start to end. There was no kissing on the lips however she did kiss me on the cheek & over my chest, in one situation she rubbed her breasts over my testicles. From what I remember the condom did not break & stayed intact.
I felt guilty after the first encounter & thought if I had another one then it wouldn't feel as bad (don't ask how I arrived at this conclusion) the first CSW was a British girl in her 20s & 2nd was a Brazilian lady in her 40 at least. After my 2nd encounter I was suddenly overwhelmed with the guilt of my actions, as if I had suddenly realized the magnitude of what I had done! It was then a constant burden on my mind & here is the symptoms that followed..
I don't recall how soon after but I noticed a small spot on my penis right near the base, I think there was a hair growing from it so maybe a blocked hair follicle? It went down slowly and now left with a small white patch. After about a week I started getting a slight burning sensation along my penis, no discharge or pains while urinating. I called the NHS helpline who advised me to drink plenty of water as it was probably due to the hot weather & stress. I took that advice & after a couple of days it went away. Once 2 weeks had passed I went to a GUM clinic & provided a urine sample for chlamydia & gonorrhea which came back negative, huge relief! But almost after a month had passed I started getting this dull pain in my left testicle, this freaked me out again so went back to the clinic the doctor checked, typically when they they did a physical it did not cause any pain & later it went away, while I was there I provided blood for syphilis & HIV (rapid HIV test after 4 weeks?) which also came back negative. The doctor also took a 'swab' from inside the head of my penis and checked under a microscope & found nothing unusual. A week later I suddenly noticed a patch of skin on the head of my penis on the left side (size of a penny) had gone a 'shade' redder then the rest (am circumcised) I again freaked out & kept checking, over the next few days it seemed to dry a bit & crack up slightly, I went to the clinic again & the doctor checked & said its 'just dry skin' and NOT herpes which I suspected! I was given this anti-fungal cream called canestan (i think) which after a week seemed to of smoothed out the skin but sometimes it does look slightly different & now and then it does go a bit dry and flakes a bit.
Currently I am seeing a counselor as I'm severely depressed, regretful of my actions, the 'strange' dull pain in my left testicle seems to come & go and the patch of skin seems to sometimes flake a little. I also went to my GP and JUST mentioned about the dull pain/ache in testicles to which they did a urine test & found nothing, I was advised to get 'doxycycline hyclate' capsules if the pain comes back.
I have some questions if someone could kindly answer.
Did I put myself at ANY risk and why all these 'symptoms' so close to the encounter?
Since these symptoms are so close to my encounter with the CSW is it in anyway linked to the exposure? Did I get something the tests have not picked up?
I cannot test for herpes at the clinics but can pay at a private one, should I do that in case I've put myself at risk? (dont recall seeing sores on csw mouth but can't be 100% sure) and I understand its contracted via skin-to-skin as there was some cuddling involved!
I understand some of these symptoms I could be magnifying in my mind in my current state but the patch of 'dry' skin, surely can't of resulted from anxiety as its a physical symptom whilst others you could argue are in my mind? It has me quite terrified as its after this exposure!
Is there ANY chance I could pass something to my wife or children?
I am struggling to get over this I didn't realise it would effect me do much, I now realise how much my family mean to me & am terrified of destroying that.
Your right about the mental process taking far too long, its been 2 months and I'm still a wreck! Although I will admit I'm a lot better than before so I can see the 'light' somewhat.. my main fear is still with STDs even though all the tests prove I'm fine my mind doesn't accept it and these aches & rashes are certainly not helping.. I just pray I get through this and have a better future due to it.. thanks for all your help..
irritation and fungal infections can both cause it. our genital skin is very delicate and doesn't take much to cause it to get rashy.
we all wish that the mental process went faster - takes far too long to put the past behind you sometimes. Trust me, I wouldn't be able to be as supportive as I am here if I hadn't been incredibly stupid multiple times up until now too....lol.
we all wish that the mental process went faster - takes far too long to put the past behind you sometimes. Trust me, I wouldn't be able to be as supportive as I am here if I hadn't been incredibly stupid multiple times up until now too....lol.
Thank you for your helpful comments Grace (and advice) its an extremely difficult cycle as your stressed & worried constantly about stds and then you feel a slight sensation or worse still in my case I suddenly get this patch of reddish dry skin! That send your mind into paranoia! Fair enough as Vance mentioned its just 'dry skin' BUT why now and why after this encounter?! Things like that convince you you have something and your once 'perfect' life is over.. anyways I think I'm feeling a little better as my counselor said that it was an 'experience' which I learnt from and now it will make me a better person.. I just wish this mental healing process was quicker..
protected oral sex is about as safe as it gets. so is body rubbing with underwear on. you never needed all the testing you had done. you never needed to worry this much.
we get a lot of posters with what is called a genitally focused anxiety. when you worry about having contracted a std, you actually can cause symptoms - being on the computer doesn't help as well as constant checking of the genital area also causes you to use muscles you usually don't and clench up muscles in that area which can cause pain. Honestly the best thing you can do at this point is to take your wife and kids out and have fun. keep busy so your mind doesn't have time to think about what happened :)
grace
we get a lot of posters with what is called a genitally focused anxiety. when you worry about having contracted a std, you actually can cause symptoms - being on the computer doesn't help as well as constant checking of the genital area also causes you to use muscles you usually don't and clench up muscles in that area which can cause pain. Honestly the best thing you can do at this point is to take your wife and kids out and have fun. keep busy so your mind doesn't have time to think about what happened :)
grace
The thing that fuelled my paranoia of an std is why no problems in that area for as long as I can remember then all of a sudden so many different 'symptoms' ..?! I was convinced I had something wrong with me, maybe it was the thought of the consequences of my actions that spiralled me into this state of depression which I'm trying to cope with, would be nice to maybe get in touch with folks in a similar situation and maybe talk and help eachother through these times..
Thanks for your comments, I didn't realise anxiety, guilt and depression could be so powerful! This is one lesson learnt that I won't be repeating as long as I live, hopefully it will make me a better person to my family..
1. No you did not put yourself at risk
2. No it clearly is anxiety/stress/depression
3. I see no reason to
4. Then it is a dry patch of skin, nothing to do with a STD
5. STD's have that name for a reason so unless you have sex with your kids, no. And as for wife, no because you have some negative tests and no real risk.
2. No it clearly is anxiety/stress/depression
3. I see no reason to
4. Then it is a dry patch of skin, nothing to do with a STD
5. STD's have that name for a reason so unless you have sex with your kids, no. And as for wife, no because you have some negative tests and no real risk.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
