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Avatar universal

Unprotected anal sex with high partner history

I am a married 32 yr old male.  I had a conservative church upbringing and my spouse and I have only every had sex with one another.  

Until yesterday.  I vaginally and anally penetrated a 26 yr old female for the first time.  This girl has been living in a monogomous relationship with her boyfriend for six months.  A condom was initially put on but completely ruptured to the point that practically only the latex ring at the base of the condom was still on me.  She and I have been pretty open with one another in our friendship up to this point, and she has no STD that she is aware of, and gets tested yearly (last time was either last December or in the spring, I don't recall).  However she has a high # of sex partners, appx 53 men and 29 women.  After intercourse I immediately showered and covered my genital area with alcohol (vodka).

Most of the info I read cautions the receiver of anal sex.  I grew up being possibly over-cautioned? in public school that sex=disease.  As the essentially unprotected penetrator, I wonder what the responsible course of action is.  Supposedly a lot of STDs go without symptoms and I would hate to dose my wife.
8 Responses
Avatar universal
PS. She has been vaccinated for HPV (at least the bad ones).
Avatar universal
Well you had a risk and should be tested.
Gonorrhea and chlamydia-1 week
syphilis-6 weeks
herpes and HIV-3 months
Avatar universal
OK thanks, I am completely new to this.  Does that mean I should wait the time periods you listed before getting tested?
Should I abstain from sex with my wife for three more months until after I get tested?  We are going on a long resort vacation so my timing could have been better LOL.
Avatar universal
And one more question--she was thinking of getting tested soon anyway.  If she tests clear for everything, then I should be fine?
Avatar universal
Yes those are the time frames.
Abstaining from sex is a decision only you can make.

If other woman tests and has no STD's then most likely you would not have one. But she could fall into a window period if she had sex with someone else before the test was conclusive.

Can you be certain that this girl has not cheated on her bf with other people for the past 6 months?
Avatar universal
After further discussion, turns out she has been monogomous with her bf "since mid-August", so appx. 3 months.  She went in for testing yesterday at my request, results by end of week.
Avatar universal
She got tested and the results came in today.  I have the report in my hand: Chlamydia, Gonococcus, Trich, all negative.  But that's it.  

We went in together to pick up the test results and she asked about other STD's.  I watched her tell the person giving her the paperwork that she had asked for HIV also.  But I guess they didn't test for it.  She told me the nurse had asked her about her recent history--she has only been with a handfull of people this year, all protected (apparently the high numbers were from 4+ years ago).  So she assumes the risk is low, and is under the impression that her doctor didn't think she needed it.  She is also under the impression that if she had HIV she would have severe flu-like symptoms shortly after exposure, which has not happened to her at all this year.

My impression from reading Dr. Handsfield's responses on this site is that it sounds like STD's are far less frequent than people seem to think, and that basically most people in normal hetero situations with small possibilities of exposure over-think it and need to relax, and almost certainly do not have it or anything.  So I'm inclined to think that may also be my case with me.  The answer seems to be: "You're probably good, but it's theoretically possible."  

Still, I wonder how close that would be to asking if a giant meteorite could hit the earth and wipe out the human race…Well, probably not, but it's theoretically possible!  If that's what we're saying then it sounds like I should consider my exposure level nill.

All of this is to decide how to handle sexual activity with my wife to make sure she is safe.
Avatar universal
Interestingly, she also said there was no tearing during anal sex and that she would definitely know if there were.  The sex lasted a couple minutes, max.
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