Actually there are red spots/areas in my genital area. But not blisters. They are itchy and get more red if I itch it.
So first, there is no risk at all from breathing in your ear, fingering, or spitting on your penis. None of those transmits STDs.
How long ago did this happen? How long after it happened did you start itching? How long aftr did you see the red spots/areas?
The itching could be a fungal infection or anxiety. Skin gets more red the more you scratch it. I wouldn't worry too much about that.
If there are no blisters, it's not herpes.
You used a condom. This means you weren't at risk for gonorrhea, chlamydia, NGU, Hepatitis B, and HIV.
There is a slight risk for syphilis, herpes and HPV, but those don't give you symptoms like that.
You could have a fungal infection like yeast if one of the women had a yeast infection.
Your life is not ruined.