Anal fingering exposure

[Newconcerns]

I have had high anxiety about this exposure that occurred a week ago.

I decided to experiment and met with an older gay man (I am bi curious at best). I jerked him off with lube, while he fingered me with lube. He has just had a shower when I arrived, and he was only semi hard, so he hasn’t touched himself much (if at all) before we began. While I jerked him there was a fair amount of precum. About half way through he took over masturbating himself while I watched. Without thinking, he then continued fingering me with the same hand. After about 5min, I realised and quickly stopped proceedings. He did not cum at any point during this encounter. Once I stopped things, I wiped my hand and butt with a crusty towel he had and I left.

Should I be concerned about this exposure? It is the ONLY encounter I have had since a clear full STD panel in June. Main concerns are chlamydia, gonnhorea, and syphilis. Butt has been a bit irritated and looks like a small bump (not ulcerated) in there, but I may have a hemmhoroid/fissure.

[auntiejessi]

There is no risk to this. Even though he masturbated himself, STDs don't transmit via hands. You don't need to worry about this.

I'm attaching some links with answers from doctors, when we had them, that explain why this is.

https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Nervous-about-mutual-masturbation/show/2183476

https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Mutual-Masturbation-STD/show/1968429

https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/mutual-masturbation-sti/show/1858544

https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Understanding-the-risks-of-mutual-fingering/show/1516796

https://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV---Prevention/Vaginal-fluid-on-hand-touched-inside-of-condom-and-head-of-penis/show/1119533 - read this thread thoroughly. There is an excellent explanation about why certain activities are not risks, and why others are.

[Newconcerns]

Thank you so much for commenting.

I am not going to continue questioning this, but does this account for all scenarios? I ask this because the fingering was vigorous (as vigorous as intercourse), and the potential exposure to potentially contaminated fluids was very swift from when they were released from the body (e.g. straight from penis, to hand, to anus, and also going into a now susceptible part of the body due to the vigorous actions prior). I note a lot of the experts comments relate to massaging into susceptible tissues, and I would say my exposure meets this requirement.

And just for clarity, can you confirm that skin-to-skin STDs such as syphilis are only shared via direct contact? Eg it is not enough that he may have touched a chancre and then touched my anus to pass this on? I ask because in my mind there was the potential for “contact”, just not direct.

Appreciate your help.

[auntiejessi]

Vigorous fingering changes nothing.

"Massaging" here means rubbing into the skin with direct skin to skin contact - the friction of that skin rubbing together. It doesn't mean hand massage.

Did you read all the links I gave you. In one of them, Dr. Handsfield says, "Some questions can be answered based entirely on the information in the title.  STDs are not transmitted by mutual masturbation, fingering, or any other sort of hand-genital contact.  It could theoretically occur and perhaps rarely does -- but with rare exceptions, such exposures can be entirely ignored."

In another, Dr. Hook says, "Despite the theoretical risk, this does not occur with any meaningful frequency.  Dr. Handsfield and I have focused on our careers on STDs (including HIV) and STD research for a combination of over 70 years, caring for thousands of persons (and answering thousands of question on this web site) and neither of us has EVER seen STD transmission occur in this way- never!"

In yet another, Dr. Handsfield says, "In 30+ years in a busy STD clinic, I don't think I have ever seen a case of any STD that did not involve insertive vaginal, anal, or oral sex -- and certainly never say any infection in someone whose only apparent risk had been fingering or mutual masturbation."

We don't ask a lot of our members, but we do ask that you read our responses, and the links we provide.

You can certainly test if you are anxious. You don't need to, but if it will ease your mind, testing is a simple way to get peace.

[Newconcerns]

Thanks again for your response, and my apologies if it seemed like I ignored your advice/links - I actually read them all in detail, but of course when you’re anxious you start to think your scenario is different (or has never been encountered before), or that you’re going to be the 0.000001%.

There really is a whole lot of misleading info on the internet, so grateful for resources such as this.

Have a good day.

[auntiejessi]

The 0.000001% is statistically the same as zero. I hope it helps you to realize that. :)

Hang in there. You're not the first. Everyone always thinks that, and no one ever is.

I'm not sure what the driving force is behind your anxiety - a fear of STDs in general, guilt because of being with a man, guilt for going outside of a relationship, or just anxiety in general, but remember that guilt/anxiety/fear do not equal risk.

[Newconcerns]

Just wanted to follow up and provide an update here. I had been driving myself insane for 6+ weeks post exposure - worried sick, lots of “symptoms” such as diarrhea, pruritus, tenesmus, red rash like skin all around my anus and scrotum, sore testicle. I got full panel tests (HIV, Syphilis, Chlamydia/Gonhorrea urine, oral and anal swabs, Hep A/B/C) at week 7 and everything is clear. I’ve since read that I did the urine test wrong (discarded the first stream), but with everything else clear it is not an issue as my exposure didn’t involve my penis. Our brains are powerful things! Now I just need to figure out what’s causing all of my issues, particularly the dry skin.

[auntiejessi]

Thanks for the update! We so rarely get them.

Loads of things cause dry skin, rashes, and the rest - including stress and anxiety.

Thanks again, and take care. :)