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Avatar universal

My wife has trichomoniasis, but we are faithful?

My wife and I have had a complicated marriage.  I met her whilst working in Siberia (I was helping my company set up a new plant, she was working for them) and since meeting her, forming a relationship and later marrying, I have not had any relations sexual or otherwise with anyone but her.  I am also 100% sure she has also not had sexual contact with anyone but me during our entire relationship.  The complication of our marriage stems from us both living in separate countries, she in Russia, me in England.  With the exception of her staying with me for the first five months of this year, we usually only get to see each other for a week or two, two or three times a year.  We have now been together for almost three years.

Last summer after visiting her, she was diagnosed with mycoplasma genitalium.  I had myself checked and was negative for any STI, but on further inspection we found that mycoplasma genitalium is not generally checked for in the UK, so I went to Addenbrookes clinic in Cambridge and spoke to a doctor who was on the UK test study for mycoplasma genitalium and, whilst he considers it to be present in almost all males regardless of being able to pass it to a female, I was tested directly for it and the test came back negative.  Looking further into it, I feel the infection was more likely the spermicidal contraceptive she chose to use (nonoxynol-9 being a known cause of this infection).  Regardless, I still took a cause of antibiotics to ensure I would not carry the infection.

Since then, we had just over five months of living together and had sex throughout the entire time with absolutely no infections or complications.

She went back to Russia in May and I visited July/August for three weeks.  One week after leaving, she had to go to her doctors again and has now been diagnosed with trichomoniasis.  Her doctors assure her it is and can only be contracted sexually and therefore came from me.  After being cleared of any STI's on two separate tests last year and having five months without causing infections, her obvious and logical conclusion is I have cheated on her between May and July. This is simply not the case.

I am completely sure she has not cheated on me, either, so my question is, can there be any other ways of contracting trichomoniasis - for her or for me to then pass to her?  I have only found out about this diagnosis an hour ago, so I have not been checked myself yet (will be calling to make an appointment when the clinic is open tomorrow morning).  Unfortunately, to further make my job of proving my faithfulness, she now has zero trust in UK doctors following the previous tests proving negative and a bad experience with and dentist who performed an emergency repair supposed to be no more than a temporary fix (she says in Russia she would have been given the correct permanent treatment even as a casual walk in appointment) .

Some facts that may contribute:
Both this time and last time she was treated for infection, her hot water supply was switched off, so neither of us were able to shower or bathe as we would usually.
Again, this time and last, we used public saunas and the towels provided.  Last time we has the place to ourselves, were naked the whole time and even had sex there.  This time, however, included a whole spa treatment with various types of saunas and massages and spent the time there in our swimming costumes, aside from when we were in a Turkish steam sauna where I preferred to sit naked on the sheet they provided.  We also used their towels to dry ourselves when changing back into our clothes and stayed in the spa centre's hotel for two nights, again using the towels provided in our room.
We had anal sex on occasion, but have never went from anal to vaginal during the intercourse.
Whilst we don't as a rule wash immediately before engaging in sex, with the exception of not having readily available hot water, I would say we were both clean, and often, although not always, oral sex would happen before vaginal, if that goes to making me any 'cleaner'?

Various sites cover trichomoniasis and indicate damp towels, toilet seats, wet clothes, etc., could all be a cause of infection, but none suggest how likely this could actually be?  I have also read trichomoniasis can be dormant in a female for years, but she had an STI check before she met me which was clear and again last year which only showed the mycoplasma, so can trichomoniasis be undetected in standard checks whilst lying dormant?  And if so, what can suddenly trigger it?  If I had it from a previous relationship, why was it not found in either of my STI checks??

I am desperate for answers because right now she will not even talk to me, convinced I have passed onto her a sexual transmitted disease I could only have recently caught myself by cheating on her.  I am besotted with my wife and I am falling apart at the realisation my marriage to her could be over because of this.

Please help...
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Avatar universal
Oh I forgot to mention I have been wearing panty liners which defeats the purpose of panties with a cotton crotch.

Summary for me which may help others;
Back to Basics
    - microorganism grow in a warm moist environment nourished by simple sugars.
(cutting back on panty liners and anything that breaks down to simple sugars/glucose.)
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
Hi, I am the one who started this thread and due to the fact my wife truly believed I had cheated on her, we are now divorced.  Losing her was crucifying to me and took me until mid-last year before I was able to move on.  I am now involved with another woman (who luckily lives in the same country this time round) and I have to say I was quite petrified of having sex with her at first in case I ended up giving her an infection, following my last 'triumph'.

I stumbled upon this thread because I was searching through my email account for something sent about the same time and saw an email from MedHelp, and I am glad I have read this now there are many replies.  After explaining why my marriage went wrong to my new partner, I became interested again in searching for matches to my ex-wife's symptoms as described to me and found the most likely explanation of her infection was never an STI, but in fact our own inability to thoroughly wash on the last week I ever saw her (I think I mentioned somewhere above, her hot water supply was off for maintenance, so we were boiling kettles and washing out of bowls).  We engaged in anal sex that week, as well as normal sex.  The type of UTI she ended up with matches perfectly the symptoms expected if bad bacteria from the anus enters the urinary tract, and now I read with interest from Reniloiuse this: "a woman can give this [trichomonas] to herself without sexual contact.This happens from contact from her own anal bacteria with her vaginal area" which confirms to me my wife and I caused it ourselves by not being careful enough during anal sex, or cleaning thoroughly enough afterwards.  This is why women are reminded to wipe front to back and never the other way.

So perhaps now, I can rest assured her doctors may well have diagnosed a trichomonas infection correctly, but it was their insistence it could only possibly be sexually transmitted from someone already infected that ruined destroyed a marriage by proving infidelity where no infidelity was present

I hope this information helps save someones relationship somewhere.

Kind regards,
Chris.
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
I have had a very recent experience with this issue. Sexual transmission is the most common. You can get it from wet items (though the parasite can only live on this items or surfaces for a short time) like towels, shared beach chairs.. anything where your goods come in contact with a recent infected area. The survival time span of thrichomoniasis is generally 45 min to 1 hour on an external surface.
I tested positive and it blew my mind. With much research and banging my head against the wall trying to find an explanation here is what I discovered. When I read you can acquire it from an infected towel, which I did not personally use. I started to think of any wet/moist public areas that I have had my goods in contact with. Then a light went off!!!!!
While in the Keys I went jet skiing. If I could catch it from wiping myself with a wet towel I could most definitely catch it from bouncing up and down on a padded wet cushion for an hour straight..
Always look at recent mishaps that you have done before you instinctively go directly to your partner. Yes, sexual contact is the most common way to get thrichomoniasis BUT not the only way!  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm 20 years old and me and my boyfriend are faithful, we're home bodies & we're with each other 24/7 (including our daughter). I started feeling lower abdominal and back pain and I was diagnosed with trichomonas and when I asked my boyfriend if he felt funny as well, & he told me he felt fine, so when I went to my follow up, I asked them why doesn't he have any symptoms, and they told me men can get it but it's acute and he wouldn't notice or feel any symptoms. And I was also told, me being the only one treated wouldn't help it. Just because he doesn't feel the symptoms, doesn't mean he doesn't have it. So ladies, if your diagnosed with it, make sure your significant other gets treated too, because if he doesn't, you're gonna keep getting it. Dirty fingernails, using the same washcloth to wipe up after sex, and also if he has sex with you while his boxers are still can cause bacteria to enter the vagina because they carry sweat and sometimes, men don't change their boxers as often as we change our underwear. Bacteria travels in many ways and you have to be more careful because us women are sensitive and immune to Alot of things that men aren't. Cheating doesn't always have to be the case, because me and my boyfriend know eachother well, and we both knew right then, something else had to be the cause. Men wash your hands and under your nails before sex, ladies use clean washcloths after sex. I hope this was helpful because I was freaking out just like some of you are.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
Thank u iam in tears scared ,me and my boyfriend is faithful since day one . iam scared .this the first time
Avatar universal
I have read a lot of the previous posts. I am now 50 years old. In my 20's and 30's I had numerous boyfriends. I have also been getting annual pap exams since I was 23 years old. Pap exams were ALWAYS normal other than sometimes a mild yeast infection. I met a guy at age 40, dated him for a year and a half then we got married. After 2 years of marriage (the absolute WORSE experience of my life) I start feeling what I THOUGHT was a yeast infection. I bought the over the counter medicines that always worked in the past. There was absolutely NO relief. A couple weeks later I see my doctor because it was so itchy and uncomfortable. I am told I have trichomonasis. I was about 42 years old and had NEVER heard of this in my entire life. I ask what exactly is that? I was told an STD. I said "EXCUSE ME! I know I do not have an STD, I am MARRIED!! My head almost blew off my shoulders. I was given the prescription then could not WAIT to get him on the phone and GO OFF on his nasty, cheating [email protected]@. And of course he denied it as well. I went back a week later for a follow-up with my doctor to inquire more about this. The husband lied and came up with all those same excuses--- using an old wet towel; eating raw pork; sitting on a toilet seat, etc. my doctor of 20 years, whom I trust said "It is SEXUALLY transmitted, someone gave it to someone and that someone gave it to you! And all those excuses he was trying to use did NOT apply to me anyway. I separated from him for a few months. We reconciled and I told him to go to the doctor to get that medicine. It is harder to detect in men but it most certainly doesn't just go away if you are not treated. He showed me all the paperwork from his doctor. We reconciled and 3 months later I started feeling that itch again. I went to the doctor and was told AGAIN that I had that damn TRICHOMONASIS. Needless to say I divorced his lying, deceitful, nasty, cheating a$$. He never admitted to anything but he was most CERTAINLY guilty. I have been divorced from him now for 6 years and have NOT had one diagnosis of TRICHOMONASIS which he tried to say that it's just in you. A few years ago my pap exam was abnormal. I was then told I have low risk HPV. Again never heard of it. The doctor ask if I ever had an STD and I told her my ex infected me twice with Trichomonasis. This is also contributed to him. Everyone can say they have not stepped outside of the relationship but 9 out of 10 times someone is NOT telling the truth.
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2 Comments
I'm sorry but you should check your facts before writing something like this. Even if it is sexually transmitted, it's not the ONLY way to contact it. I'm a virgin and have got it once before. There are many ways to contact it although the main one is indeed sexually transmitted.
Thank you for your honesty. I just found out today that I have TRICH. We have been together 15years(MARRIED) and now our 2nd time. He made me think it was me the first time. It had to come from all the antibiotics I had taken for my teeth removal. I had all the symptoms this time dish charge, fishy smell, burning sensation when urinating and itching. I purchased a yeast kit because I just new that what it was. Nope!!! Im done life is to short. First trich and what's next?? I did my homework on this STD and it is a sexual transmitted disease... please understand that. No excuses!!
Avatar universal
Had trich 27 years ago. My dr said it could be from dirt under fingernails as he was a produce Mgr if he had fingered me without scrubbing hands. We were newly married so I'm sure that happened or by using unsanitzed sex toys
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, I was diagnosed to have this trich early this morning when I get to see my doctor because of my some foul-smeeling odor discharge and I'm kinda nervous when I first read in the internet that it can only be transmitted by sexual intercourse and afraid to death to by any chance I'll be having HIV, well, is it possible? Well, my husband said that I am cheating on him because of what the doctor said. And honestly, I drag him in the here and let him read all the comments from top to bottom so he know what is really "trich" all about. Thank you for washing up all my fears.
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
I think I am going to have to do the same thing. Lol
Avatar universal
I went on vacation with my friends and stayed in a very nice hotel, we did a lot of swimming in pools, hot tubs and the ocean. Used the hotel towels and linens. I was in my bathing suit for the majority of the days. At the tail end of vacation I noticed a little bit or itching and pain in the vaginal area, I thought it was a yeast infection, which I promptly addressed when I got back home...The dr. did not culture me since I am in the low risk category of std's but after unsuccessful yeast treatments she did a more thorough exam. Which then showed Trichomoniasis. I spoke with my boyfriend of 5 years and he denies any outside sexual activity. I have always trusted him and do not feel that he cheated. I have never cheated on him so I know it didn't come from me.
Just to mention that I had a pap smear in August of 2015 and I was negative for tich or any other infection...
Helpful - 0
1 Comments
I needed to read this. I just got diagnosed today, and I started wondering if my husband was cheating on me. I have told him already. We both freaked out. I started searching immediately to see if the only way to contract it is by having multiple partners. Then I found this.
16431702 tn?1447877367
nobull..im glad I found your article. I got diagnosed with it yesterday. I have been with my husband for 16 years and have been faithful. I automatically think he's cheating and I have bee all over the computer today trying to get some sense of it. I have not told my husband yet, because, I wanted more info and to not believe he's cheating! we do use towels to clean up after sex, usually the ones from our daily showers. I was just about to pack my bags....I am still so afraid to mention it, Afraid he may think the same thing that I did...
Helpful - 0
15799572 tn?1443098075
Recently my husband and I were told we had trich, and that he had to have cheated.  In our lives there is no room for that and we knew it was not true.  So after research we found that warm and used towels, most likely from cleaning up after sex is where the little bugger can come from in the first place.  We used to use a towel, but we went out of town for a week on vacation when it was really hot, when we got back, we used the old towel without thinking about it, and then after about a week or so I started to get sick.   There was no doubt for our relationship, we are faithful and steady, but the treatment from the medical community was appalling.  How can professionals say that your significant other is cheating.  It is unprofessional for any one to do so.  In this instance, when you research trich, you come of with many repeats saying that it is a protozoan parasite that is sexually transmitted.  But they don't tell you where the parasite came from in the first place.   So go wash your bed and your towels, don't use a towel for clean up anymore if you can help it, and above all else have faith.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
How is this even possible? Meaning you used a towel and itThen you left on the trip so you left a dirty towel at your house and you come back can you use the same dirty towel. So you’re saying that you contracted it from your own dirty towel? I dry dirty towel? And you can want to talk prices range from $777 to 900 and
I apologize I was talk texting and when I finished I didn’t end it and my phone picked up what was on the radio the money has nothing to do with my questions. I hope you know I am being sincere I really do want to know how that’s possible. Thank you
Avatar universal
I had the same problem at the start of this year. Was 99.9% positive that he was faithful. We work together, eat together, socialise together - so how could it be an STD? After a lot of research, came up with the conclusion of towels etc. Turns out that in the golf club they often use used towels (yuk
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you. This answers a lot for me. Your situation sounds similar to mine. I also am a 50 year old woman, premenopausal, who has not had sex in a year. WITH ANYONE. I have been married for 20 years. Except for one incident 10 YEARS AGO, I have been faithful. While I do not know definitely about my husband, I have to assume he has been faithful as well. He is 54 and at the age where sex is not a priority. Same as me. I got diagnosed with trich. Been reading about it online but most articles are very old and nothing real recent. So either this has been inside me for 10 years or I got it some other way. I also have experienced numerous yeast infections but thought that common. If I experienced symptoms, it was a while ago and I don't remember. Having had a hysterectomy 25 years ago, I have not had a pap smear in years. All I can say is this has to be contracted another way or it can last a long time in a womans body.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks for this blog.  My wife last month came down with Trich, and immediately accused me of having an affair.  To be honest, I did have an affair in 2006, but have been faithful to my wife since then. It was the worst thing I could have done.  I still feel so guilty about it today.  I went in the next day and got tested which came back negative.  My wife doesn't believe me, but I have been 100% faithful since Aug 2006.
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Avatar universal
My name is Tanya i live in USA were Divorce seems to be the other of the day,i was married to my husband Lawson for 18 years and we were living happily together with our 3 kids and all of a sudden their came this sad moment for the first time in my life i curt my husband having an affair with a lady outside our marriage before this time i have already started noticing strange behavior like he used to spend some time with us, comes home early after work but since he started having an affair with this lady all his love for his wife gone and he now treats me badly and will not always make me happy.I had to keep on moving with my life never knowing that our marriage was now leading to divorce which i can not take because i love Lawson my husband so much and i can't afford to loose him to this strange Lady,i had to seek a friends advice on how i could resolve my marriage problem and make the divorce case not to take place and my husband live this Lady and come back to me again having heard my story my friend decided to help me at all cost she then referred me to A spell caster named Priest Ajigar, my friend also told me that Priest Ajigar have helped so many people that were going through divorce, and also finding possible ways to amend their broken relationship. To cut my story short i contacted Priest Ajigar and in just four days after the spell was done my husband left the other lady and withdrew the divorce case all till now my husband is with me and he now treats me well and we are living happily together again all appreciation goes to Priest Ajigar i never could have done this my self, so to whom it may concern if you are finding difficulty in your relationship or having problems in your marriage just contact Priest Ajigar he is Powerful and his spell works perfectly,i am somebody who never believed or heard about spell but i gave it a try with Priest Ajigar and today every thing is working well for me and if you need his help his email is (***@****)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks Mimi you saved my marriage, my husband has prove sex isn't the only way to contract "trich".
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Avatar universal
My husband and  i have had a faithful relationship. But once in a blue moon he would end up with this chlamydia infections std, since women have no symptoms of it but is very painful in males, he is the one to go to the dr. The dr tells him theres no other way to have been transmitted the disease other than having sex, but I do not get treated. Since i dont get treated, he should be getting reinfected right? He doesn't.my hubby is been suffering from testicular torsion and since had infections about every 4-5 years. Se we are convinced is due to his problem.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband and I have been in a 100% committed relationship for 18 years. I am 52 and just diagnosed with this during my annual routine exam having no signs of symptoms. So, too, the both of us are equally perplexed and angry by the facts that are presented about this disease. All the fact sheets that I have read state nothing about the statistics about this disease possibly being transmitted non-sexually.

And seeing multiple comments about partners questioning the truths with each other is disheartening. Believe your partner if they say that they have been faithful!! And call the CDC to tell them their facts are wrong and this disease needs to be reexamined!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband and I have been in a 100% committed relationship for 18 years. I am 52 and just diagnosed with this during my annual routine exam having no signs of symptoms. So, too, the both of us are equally perplexed and angry by the facts that are presented about this disease. All the fact sheets that I have read state nothing about the statistics about this disease possibly being transmitted non-sexually.

And seeing multiple comments about partners questioning the truths with each other is disheartening. Believe your partner if they say that they have been faithful!! And call the CDC to tell them their facts are wrong and this disease needs to be reexamined!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I contracted trich on holiday in the Dominican Republic and it ruined my holiday. You absolutely can contract this condition from infected towels because I did. The symptoms became evident about the fifth day and drove me crazy. I did not see a doctor as I was too embarrassed. The human body has it's own way of expelling foreign bodies and infections and I overcome this infection naturally, I won't go in to detail but it was really horrible, and I could not understand where this infection had come from as I have not had sex for many many years by choice.
On returning home I have looked in to my symptoms and am confident I contracted this condition from a damp dirty towel with a host!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you. I am in your shoes now. I hope that your marriage survived? I can tell you I was fearing my husband had cheated too. But it is just unlikely to be the case. As rare as they claim it is I think I just got it some other way or that we have had it for years. I have chosen to trust him. If we had tested positive for chlamydia that would be different. We had that at the beginning of our relatiobship so reasonably one of us already had it. We tested again well after treatment and that was negative. I have continuously come out negative for other std's but suddenly positive for trich and am not sure it has ever been checked before. I had an abrasion near my vagina last summer. Our diet had gone south and there were a number of times we ran out of toilet paper and I used a towel that was damp. I also believe I had the abrasion because I was not drying that area very well. Then when my son who was not given booster shots (he has autism) came home with pertussis, we all took antibiotics. He is now vaccinated for everything.

My husband is really sincere and since I cannot even confirm that he has it then I might as well I assume I got it from poor self care. I have been busy with the kids and needed to step up on my hygiene practices. We have been using condoms anyway because we have yet to get fixed and do not want more children.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was wondering how i was constantly seeming to get it cause I'm 20 but I haven't been having sex and was wondering if there is any way to get rid of trich without the pills cause i dont think the pills are working
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Avatar universal
First of all - THANK YOU  Mr storm warning. Though I am sorry for the heartache this has caused you, I am greatful you started this post.
I'll be 69 yrs old next week, I've not been sexually active for 30 yrs, I don't self gratify, I am a Reg. Nurse who also try to keep up holistically.

Therefore, I was questioning the diagnosis which was first found incidentally by lab in a clean catch urine. Then by GYN Dr. who said although it is classified as a STD it is not always the cause but it can be spread that way.
I believe I added to the yeast by over eating sweets due to some difficulty in my digestion . (yes I know better, I should have practiced what I preach ;-) I'm still searching)
More doctors should believe their patients and do the research.I'll do my part.
   Blessings and all the best to you, your wife and family.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
After developing symptoms for about a month, I finally decided to see a doctor and she told me I have trich and that it is an sti. I felt very teary coz even though my boyfriend and I have only been together for a year, him cheating was the only explanation and thought that came to my mind because the doctor emphasised that it was sexually transmitted. I feel muuuch calmer after reading some of these comments, sounds silly but I'm hoping my boyfriend's not infected and that I got this infection due to contraceptive pills and anything else that came from my body because I have never cheated on him
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Avatar universal
I met my husband when I was in college and he is the only man I've ever had sex with.  We've been monogamous for almost 14 years and I just learned that I have trichomoniasis.  I am 100% certain that neither of us are cheating.  We have never had anal sex and I am really good about proper hygiene in that area.  The month that my symptoms started, I was using a public swimming pool weekly, using a steam room at the gym several times a week, and showering at the gym.  My doctor doesn't think I contracted trich from the gym/pool, but it's either that or my husband gave it to me when we first met and it's been "dormant" for almost 14 years.  I must say that it's incredibly frustrating that most information says this is only transmitted through sexual contact.      
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