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Avatar universal

Should I be so worried???

Hey there-

I went through a really horrible time where my husband and I both strayed and had sex with other people. Turns out that both the partners we were both with have had many partners themselves and aren't smart about protection. Worst mistakes we've ever made....and we weren't protected w/ them either. It's so horrible I cry every time that I think about it. Anyway...I am sooooo scared about HIV. I was tested early on and it came back negative however my husband doesn't want to get tested...he says he would rather not know which makes me uneasy. We both have had few partners in total (3 for me and 4 for him). So anyway my question is should I make him get tested?? I don't want to force him when he doesn't want to but I'm so scared about it I think I might have to tell him he has to do it. What should I do?
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Avatar universal
He got tested and it was negative. Thank you for your responses!
Helpful - 0
101028 tn?1419603004
burying your head in the sand with herpes isn't the best course of action.  you can significantly reduce the chance of transmission to a partner if one partner has hsv1 and/or hsv2 and the other doesn't. it's also very important to know your herpes status if you are of child bearing age too.
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Avatar universal
I know they are...but I have a major problem with worrying. So I'm hoping that this test will ease our minds.
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Avatar universal
They don't generally test for it because a lot of people have it and don't show symptoms so there's no reason to freak them out unnecessarily.
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Avatar universal
Yeah herpes is not something that I want to be tested for actually...because neither of us have had any symptoms at all and it's been a few months....and just bcuz you have the virus in you doesn't mean you will get symptoms and I don't wanna be worried about it all the time ya know? So I'm not gonna worry about that one unless something shows up.
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101028 tn?1419603004
also make sure herpes is included in your testing - it typically is not a part of routine std testing so you have to ask for it.
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Avatar universal
Odds are in your favor.
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Avatar universal
Thank you. He is going to get tested on Thursday....I'm nervous but I know that everything is probably fine. We've already been tested for all other stds and I have had 2 hiv tests myself he just never got tested for hiv. So once he gets tested for that we will both be fully tested for everything that they test for.
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1318465 tn?1614894302
Hello

Also tell you husband that if he has something doctors can treat him.  
As for HIV, there is no cure, but I would rather know and be on medication for it so I can live longer.  

Believe me, he doesn't want to go through a CD4s crash and other painful complications related to AIDS.    Have him test.   He and you will be glad he did once its all over.  
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101028 tn?1419603004
you should both cover your full std testing bases actually. gonorrhea, chlamydia and trich can be tested for anytime after 1 week after you had other partners last. syphilis after 6 weeks. herpes, hiv and hepatitis after 3 months.  it only makes sense to do so so that there aren't any surprises later on as well as should you chose to have other partners again in the future, you need to be able to let them know that you are sexually responsible and share test results with them.

unfortunately we can't test for hpv to completely cover the bases for you both but follow up on everything else.

grace
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