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Single exposure of unprotected vaginal sex sti

Hi there .  I’m hoping you can help . 2 nights ago I strayed away from my marriage and ended up drunk at a girls accommodation where I had around an hours worth of unprotected vaginal sex. The girl in question is 21 , I am 39. I did not ejactulate but she did many times. I know the only way to be 100% sure Is through testing however the current Covid crisis is proving to be hard to get in to a clinic here in the uk.  As we were about to start she did say to me “be gentle , it’s been a while “ which may be an indication that she dosnt have many partners. However I’m still freaking out after this serious lack of judgment . She also had no visible signs that would have made me stop and think .

My main questions are :

1/what are the chances of contracting any sti based on the details above.

2/ how long should I realistically wait to be tested. It’s now been 36 hours. I have read different answers on threads.

3/ I return home tomorrow from my work place. Do I need to avoid sexual contact with my wife.

Thank you for your time
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207091 tn?1337709493
This is a pretty high risk encounter, objectively. Obviously, if it's truly been some time since her last partner, the risk goes down some, but she can also have STDs and have no symptoms.

I know in the UK, they recommend waiting longer than they do here in the US. I don't know why, and those were in place pre-pandemic. In the UK, it's 2 weeks for gonorrhea and chlamydia. In the US, it's 3-5 days.

For others, it's similar. Syphilis is 6 weeks. Syphilis is uncommon in most developed countries, and it shouldn't be your first concern.

HIV is 28 days with a 4th gen DUO test. Most people don't have HIV, so while you should definitely test, I wouldn't overly worry about this.

If she has herpes type 2, there is a chance you could get that. You can test with a type specific IgG blood test at 12 weeks. It's not easy to get those in the UK, but if you don't get symptoms within 2-12 days-ish, I wouldn't worry.

You can test for mycoplasma, another bacterial STD, that gives you similar symptoms to gonorrhea and syphilis, when you test for gonorrhea and chlamydia.

There is also HPV, which has no test for men, and you might not get symptoms for months, if you get symptoms.

Unfortunately, your partner is 21, putting her in the highest risk age group for STDs. Since we don't know her history, we don't know how high risk she specifically is. You not ejaculating doesn't mean much here. It might protect her if you had something, but it doesn't help you much, if any.

I can't advise you on what to do with your wife. If it were me, I'd at least use condoms, and avoid sex if I got symptoms. Testing is possible in the UK, though it may not be as convenient as it used to be.


Good luck, and let us know what happens.
Helpful - 0
Thanks so much for the detailed reply I really appreciate it . I have been looking a lot on this site at transmission rates and have come up with different numbers . Some say it’s around 4.5% to contract chlamydia from an infected partner and some say up to 50% during an exposure. Also the time differences between us and us testing ?? Is there any reason why I should wait for 2 weeks as apposed to 2-3 days , is there a different method of testing . Thanks again for your help ANd guidances
I don't see any reason to wait 2 weeks to test, but 2 days could be early, and you'd get a false negative.  The UK is probably erring on the side of caution, which I understand. It doesn't do much for your anxiety, but they probably just want to make sure they don't miss any infections.

There aren't any really well-established transmission rates for chlamydia. I haven't seen the 4.5% number, but I've seen the 50%. I'm not sure that's accurate. I've seen what this article says, which is an average rate of 25%, and what others say, which is male to female at 40%, and female to male at 32%, all for a single exposure.


The US and UK use the same methods of testing. As far as I understand it now, you'll probably be given a kit to use at home (or wherever you can) and you'll collect urine and blood.


Again , thanks for taking the time to comment and provide guidance . If anyone is reading this and unsure of whether to dabble outside of their relationship then think hard , I have never felt anxiety and fear like this . It’s a true eye opener and I hope I come out the other end without destroying any ones lives . Many thanks
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