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Avatar universal

Am I 100% in the clear

DR - I hope this is my last post, but everytime I put this in my rear view mirror, it seems like something else pops up.  

To refresh you - in early may I had unprotected insertive oral (hetro) from a pro.  In late May I had two occasions of unprotected oral followed by protected vaginal - the condom was intact and fine both times.  No syptoms at all - that is until my mind started going crazy.  It late July my wife went on a 5 day trip where she rode horses in tight riding breeches. She did this for several hours a day and in very hot weather.  As well as kept very long tiring hours.  When she got home she told me her vagina itched a little and she had a very small discharge.  No odor. She figured it was yeast and it went away within a day and a half and she hasn't mentioned it since.  

That is when my mind came undone.  I made up some symptoms that were mostly a slight sting after I peed, but only when I thought about it.  I never saw any discharge even though I miled it like crazy about 10 times a day. I figured I better get tested just to ease my mind, even though I knew from you I was probably home free.  

So I got tested at the county med clinic for chlmidia, Gon, and syph.  All negative.  They took blood for syph and put a swab in my ureatha for the other two.  3 days later I got my negative result..WHooo Hooo, right?  Wrong.  Today my wife said her period started about 4 days early...my mind races..my heart pounds.

I start worrying about false negatives and the like. Or maybe I cleared it on my own?  We have had sex maybe 15 or 20 times in June and july so I figure I couldn't have clearded it fi she had it.  I would have gotten it right back.  My test was about 5 days after I last had had sex with her.  Please tell me I am home free and a dumb worry wart.  Thank you.
10 Responses
239123 tn?1267647614
You can relax. With the combination of negative tests and the minimal risk of the exposures you had, there is no realistic chance you are infected or infected your wife with anything.  You are home free.  The dumb worrywart conclusion is yours, not mine!  ;-)

Avatar universal
It looks like I serverly overreacted here.  My wife is 40 and she said she commonly varies from 24 - 28 days.
Avatar universal
Ohhh Man your story sounds just like mine .
Look everscince april Ive been having all sorts of symptoms
such as sore throught , groin pain , testi ,today I think
my lymph nodes are hurting on left side . It does feel real unfortunatly . Ive been diagnosing myself with HIV, and has these 4 months been the worst 4 months of my life.
I also am maried and I agree with you , every time my wife  caughs,  I panic and that honestly wears me out ......
I was also tested ( Last month ) all were negative I am on
cipro right now but was on doxycylin , shot of penecilin .
seems like nothing is helping  :(

So I think we both have regret syndrome , and guess what ?
after all the stress and pain I went through I promissed myself If I can survive it all ,never again . ( especially with a working girl ) Yukkkkk

Good luck
ohh And try to belive that its all in your mind, I try ....
Although hard to say that its working .
I wish there could be an answer somewhre...
Again I wish you luck and keep us informed :)


Avatar universal
I was diagnosed with Herpes this past month. I would like to know how it can be transmitted. I have a 10 month old and she baths in the same tub and she had some sort of breakout/rash(< i hope) and i am scared like hell... I am so SCARED, I CAN'T EVEN START TO EXPLAIN THE MESS I AM IN. i'm so frustrated and sick to my stomach about this I can't eat, sleep, or think straight. I have caught myself spacing off about how I have messed up my daughter's entire life. What should I do? Should I be concerned? Should I rush her to the hospital? Should I get tested because the docter just gave me a "visual diagnoses" which is understandable, but I can't hold my feeling from the pit of my stomach and I fear the worst; maybe that is the feeling in my stomach that I can't get over. IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY DAUGHTER?????????????????
239123 tn?1267647614
New topic, not appropriate as a comment in an unrelated thread.   The quick answer is that your child probably doesn't have herpes; but with a rash you can't explain, she needs to see a health care provider right away.  I will be happy to respond in more detail in a new thread.

Avatar universal
Thanks bobo - the Dr. says I am home free.  I have had a negative test.  I don't want to become one of these people who worry about someting that just isn't possible.

I wouldn't be worried at all if my wife hadn't told me of her itch. And then I was over that and she tells me her period is early.  Which makes my mind think maybe it is spotting between periods.  So I freak out again.

Like the Dr. said, I am home free. There is nothing more I can do.  I really don't want to be the guy who gets test after negative test.  I am resolving to put it out of my mind.  I would do well not to come on the internet anymore looking for symptoms.

What was your expouser anyway?
Avatar universal
Hi bobo and i'mdumb,

Good luck with the clean slate you've gotten! Ever since I got my clean slate, I just check this forum once a day, not to worry, but rather, to get reassurance from hearing how many people think their lives have been ruined... and find out they're okay. It's nice to see that process in other people & gives me strength to keep up my own fight against risky behavior in myself.

So I agree with bobo, drop the forum a line at some point and let us know that you're staying the course.

Avatar universal
As God is my witness I will never do anything like that again.  What the heck was I thinking?  I had a couple months there were I just must have lost my mind.  Once clarity returned I paniced.  I am still a bit shaken and think about it a lot.  Even with the negative result I play "what if" mind games.  Maybe they took the culture to soon after I peed? (it was about 1:45 to 2 hours after) Maybe I cleared the infection after giving it to my wife? (That seems like an impossibility) On and on and on.  I have to move on or it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy and it will end up destroying me.  Sometimes I feel like if I told her, it would be better, but she is happy and I just feel like why should I detroy her with my baggage?  I think the best coase is to forget and never do it again.  If that is the case, she would have a better life not knowing.  If I can't stop for some reason, that is a different ball game.  But I am done.  I have some good men to be accountable with and am taking steps to make sure I remain clean for life.  

Thanks for your support.
Avatar universal
I feel as you do. I for some stupid reason spent time with about 7 or 8 escorts. When I came to my senses I was scared to death and the day and a half waiting for my results I spent praying. I can certainly say the same as you, I will never do this ever again.
Avatar universal
Hi imdumb and bobo and needadvice & everyone else struggling with chronic STD risks,

Just two little tidbits to pass on from the counselor who's been helping me remain monogamous and safe.

He said to avoid "never again" thoughts, and instead, just say, "not today." Whatever time it is, figure out what you're doing for the next 24 hours and find something to occupy your time so you don't slip. If I set my sights on too huge a timeline, I run the risk of giving up.

Since you guys dealt mostly with sex workers and that's where your problem was based, it could also help if you strictly control your money. Plan ahead & make sure there's no loose cash you might be able to get at a weak moment.

My counselor says, "if you weren't smart, you wouldn't have been able to have sex with so many people in 10 years, and get away without an STD, a pregnancy, or serious trouble. Now use your brains to outsmart yourself!" You can figure out what he means.

Whatever works, go for it!

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