Aa
Bad, Bad Idea
Dr.,
First, I am an idiot. Second, I am a male in my late thirties who is in a sexless marriage (I have not had sex with my spouse in several/3 years) and am pretty desperate for sex. Recently, I met a woman at a "hostess bar" in Tokyo. Last night (about 14 hours ago at the time of this post) I met with her again and this time had a sexual encounter with her lasting over the course of 3 hours. During that time she provided extenive unprotected oral sex and we had two sessions of vaginal intercourse. We also had extensive deep kissing. During the first intercourse session I used a condom to completion (10-15 minutes). During the second session, however, the condom became lose and in the heat of passion, she mounted me and took it off because she wanted to "feel" me. At this point we had approx 5-10 minutes of unprotected intercourse. Prior to ejaculation, she performed orally again until completion. I did not perform any oral sex on her, however and she certainly looked "healthy" - no cuts, cold sores, etc.. But now, I am freaking out, thinking something is wrong and that I have ruined my life and that of my family. I do not have any burning sensation when I urinate or any type of penile discharge/discomfort, but I do feel some "warmth" and, not an "itchiness" per se, but a "razor burn" kind of feel around the periphery of my testicles around the beginning of the crease of my legs. I did "groom" my genital area with a clipper and hope (pray) this is some sort of reaction to that. I'm even beginning to feel a small cold sore on the corner of my mouth. How likely is it that I may have contracted some STD from the activity described? When would I expect to "see" or feel if something was really wrong? As I mentioned, I have not been sexually active in years (not that that matters now). Do you know of any clinics in Tokyo that offer confidential testing. I guess I'm looking for some sort of reassurance that I'll be "ok" despite my stupidity.
First, I am an idiot. Second, I am a male in my late thirties who is in a sexless marriage (I have not had sex with my spouse in several/3 years) and am pretty desperate for sex. Recently, I met a woman at a "hostess bar" in Tokyo. Last night (about 14 hours ago at the time of this post) I met with her again and this time had a sexual encounter with her lasting over the course of 3 hours. During that time she provided extenive unprotected oral sex and we had two sessions of vaginal intercourse. We also had extensive deep kissing. During the first intercourse session I used a condom to completion (10-15 minutes). During the second session, however, the condom became lose and in the heat of passion, she mounted me and took it off because she wanted to "feel" me. At this point we had approx 5-10 minutes of unprotected intercourse. Prior to ejaculation, she performed orally again until completion. I did not perform any oral sex on her, however and she certainly looked "healthy" - no cuts, cold sores, etc.. But now, I am freaking out, thinking something is wrong and that I have ruined my life and that of my family. I do not have any burning sensation when I urinate or any type of penile discharge/discomfort, but I do feel some "warmth" and, not an "itchiness" per se, but a "razor burn" kind of feel around the periphery of my testicles around the beginning of the crease of my legs. I did "groom" my genital area with a clipper and hope (pray) this is some sort of reaction to that. I'm even beginning to feel a small cold sore on the corner of my mouth. How likely is it that I may have contracted some STD from the activity described? When would I expect to "see" or feel if something was really wrong? As I mentioned, I have not been sexually active in years (not that that matters now). Do you know of any clinics in Tokyo that offer confidential testing. I guess I'm looking for some sort of reassurance that I'll be "ok" despite my stupidity.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
My only additional "thoughts/concerns" about your "fears/conccners" are that your doctor has confirmed you don't have an STD or anything else that you caught during your sexual encounter -- i.e., I agree entirely with your doctor. Now that you are in direct care, follow his advice. I will have no further comments. That's all for this thread. However, I strongly suggest you take the comments of slacker101 to heart. I agree exactly with his advice.
This thread is over.
This thread is over.
Thanks, Slacker...but I'll let Dr. H answer my questions. Not you. Thanks.
You should consider seeing someone in the Psychology field. NOTHING these Doctors are going to say that will make you feel better and highly doubt they will even waste their time answering something you are going to question anyhow....
Dr.,
I am sorry for all my posts and questions. In your second to last post you said I could let you know how the examination went. Here goes:
1. Went for exam this morning at an internationally run clinic in Tokyo which is run by an very old, but wise Russian doctor.
2. I provided him with the background on my encounter and told him of my symptoms.
3. He examined the sore, felt my lymph nodes, testicles and gave the entire area a quick once over.
4. He said he has treated thousands of VD/STD cases and I had "nothing to worry about".
5. Took a urine sample (very dark - "concentrated" in his words) and "found nothing"
6. He prescribed an anti-bacterial soap, a topical ointment from Glaxo, and an antibiotic, Vibramycin (20 100 mg tablets)
HOWEVER, there are still some concerns that I have, so please bear with me just a little bit longer:
1. The sore could not be explained, other than being a skin infection.
2. My other symtoms (which I really didn't have prior to the encounter) such as dull aching pain in my back, flanks and kidneys, constipation and overall tiredness/malaise persist (I have had "mini" kidney stones in the past, though).
3. There was one spot on my right index finger that I noticed this morning had a very light red, bumpy/patchy appearance and was somewhat tender (I suddenly remembered that the woman I was with sucked on my index and middle fingers)...can an STD be passed in this way - saliva into the pours of a non-genital appendage? I showed it to the doctor, but he didn't really look too closely at it. BTW, I still see so many conflicting reports about oral sex - it is/ it isn't an "easy" way to pass an STD.
3. I am still worried that the acylovir antibiotic I took before your instruction to stop (I took about 10-12 200 mg tablets on the first and second days) just delayed an outbreak. I told the Dr. about this, and it did give him pause for a moment, but he again repeated that I "have nothing to worry about". He told me this several times.
4. This might sound like a stretch, but I'm afraid to touch my child. I have changed her diapers, given her baths (not with me in the tub) and prepared her food, but I am wracked by guilt when I look at her. Is she in any danger?
5. I still have this fear that I'm "not out of the woods yet"
Well, that's how it went. Do you have any thoughts/concerns about my remaining fears/concerns? I am planning on being on the east coast for about three weeks on leave in Feb en route to my next duty station. While I'm there, I plan on getting an entire battery of tests done. In the meantime I'm still praying to God everthing will be OK and I can move on with my life.
I am sorry for all my posts and questions. In your second to last post you said I could let you know how the examination went. Here goes:
1. Went for exam this morning at an internationally run clinic in Tokyo which is run by an very old, but wise Russian doctor.
2. I provided him with the background on my encounter and told him of my symptoms.
3. He examined the sore, felt my lymph nodes, testicles and gave the entire area a quick once over.
4. He said he has treated thousands of VD/STD cases and I had "nothing to worry about".
5. Took a urine sample (very dark - "concentrated" in his words) and "found nothing"
6. He prescribed an anti-bacterial soap, a topical ointment from Glaxo, and an antibiotic, Vibramycin (20 100 mg tablets)
HOWEVER, there are still some concerns that I have, so please bear with me just a little bit longer:
1. The sore could not be explained, other than being a skin infection.
2. My other symtoms (which I really didn't have prior to the encounter) such as dull aching pain in my back, flanks and kidneys, constipation and overall tiredness/malaise persist (I have had "mini" kidney stones in the past, though).
3. There was one spot on my right index finger that I noticed this morning had a very light red, bumpy/patchy appearance and was somewhat tender (I suddenly remembered that the woman I was with sucked on my index and middle fingers)...can an STD be passed in this way - saliva into the pours of a non-genital appendage? I showed it to the doctor, but he didn't really look too closely at it. BTW, I still see so many conflicting reports about oral sex - it is/ it isn't an "easy" way to pass an STD.
3. I am still worried that the acylovir antibiotic I took before your instruction to stop (I took about 10-12 200 mg tablets on the first and second days) just delayed an outbreak. I told the Dr. about this, and it did give him pause for a moment, but he again repeated that I "have nothing to worry about". He told me this several times.
4. This might sound like a stretch, but I'm afraid to touch my child. I have changed her diapers, given her baths (not with me in the tub) and prepared her food, but I am wracked by guilt when I look at her. Is she in any danger?
5. I still have this fear that I'm "not out of the woods yet"
Well, that's how it went. Do you have any thoughts/concerns about my remaining fears/concerns? I am planning on being on the east coast for about three weeks on leave in Feb en route to my next duty station. While I'm there, I plan on getting an entire battery of tests done. In the meantime I'm still praying to God everthing will be OK and I can move on with my life.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
And what exactly did you not understand about "until then, I will delete any comments without reply"??? I deleted your last comment, having already answered the question you asked ("No STD causes the symptoms you describe"). One more and the entire thread will be deleted.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I already told you this forum cannot help further. But settle down, for goodness sake. No STD causes the symptoms you describe. Feel free to return to let us know what is found when you are examined; but until then, I will delete any comments without reply.
Doc,
I'm terrified to the core of my being right now. Please help me. In the area where I mentioned the "razor burn" feel (right in the crease of my genital area and leg), I have what almost looks like an ulcer of some sort - white in the center, red ring around it half an inch long, a quarter inch wide. In addition, on my thigh, where my leg meets the sore, there is an elliptical shape flake of skin (not red - it almost looks very light brown, but getting darker) that hurts when I touch it. Below that, there's what almost looks like a black and blue mark.
Doc, it's been 5 days now. Yes, I'm going to see someone tomorrow, but please, please tell if this sounds like herpes. I'm terrified more than you can possibly know and sick to my stomach.
I'm terrified to the core of my being right now. Please help me. In the area where I mentioned the "razor burn" feel (right in the crease of my genital area and leg), I have what almost looks like an ulcer of some sort - white in the center, red ring around it half an inch long, a quarter inch wide. In addition, on my thigh, where my leg meets the sore, there is an elliptical shape flake of skin (not red - it almost looks very light brown, but getting darker) that hurts when I touch it. Below that, there's what almost looks like a black and blue mark.
Doc, it's been 5 days now. Yes, I'm going to see someone tomorrow, but please, please tell if this sounds like herpes. I'm terrified more than you can possibly know and sick to my stomach.
Doc,
Tomorrow I am going to a clinic. However, over the past couple days my testicles feel/look swollen and red. There's also a tingly/burning sensaton. There's a dull ache all around my lymp area and at times in my sides. Does this sound like it could be Orhitis? In most Orchitis cases, what are the long term effects? I have not had any during or after urinating. I know you are very tired of my questions..but with the red, swollen testicles, what have you seen in the past?
Tomorrow I am going to a clinic. However, over the past couple days my testicles feel/look swollen and red. There's also a tingly/burning sensaton. There's a dull ache all around my lymp area and at times in my sides. Does this sound like it could be Orhitis? In most Orchitis cases, what are the long term effects? I have not had any during or after urinating. I know you are very tired of my questions..but with the red, swollen testicles, what have you seen in the past?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I suspect you are looking too closely and noticing "symptoms" that you would have blown off except for your anxieties about the sexual encounter. Such specific clinical questions are ones for the provider you see when you "go get checked". Do it soon, for peace of mind. A distant forum like this cannot help further.
OK, I am going to go get checked, so please don't berate me....but please, please just listen to/comment on one last thing:
I have been feeling some tingly soreness and tenderness in the area around my groin - the soft area above my penis...kind of like feeling you get if someone bumps you there...like a dull ache. I've even had some lower back pain, granted I get that every now and again. I also noticed (I have been looking at my penis and tesicles almost every waking hour since my encounter) a very small gray bump on the underside of the head of my penis on the left side. It almost looks like a little pimple, but with a dark gray center and I don't recall seeing something like that there before. It doesn't hurt, though. I also thought I saw what looks like a flat grayish mark on the shaft. Again it doesn't hurt and there's no red or white blisters or anything like that...I just don't remember seeing it before. I have not experienced any pain while urinating or any sort of discharge. What do you think about the tender groin/lymph area, the gray pimple and the small mark? I really am sorry to keep bothering you, but I'm on "day 3", heading into "day 4" and just very concerned about many things.
I have been feeling some tingly soreness and tenderness in the area around my groin - the soft area above my penis...kind of like feeling you get if someone bumps you there...like a dull ache. I've even had some lower back pain, granted I get that every now and again. I also noticed (I have been looking at my penis and tesicles almost every waking hour since my encounter) a very small gray bump on the underside of the head of my penis on the left side. It almost looks like a little pimple, but with a dark gray center and I don't recall seeing something like that there before. It doesn't hurt, though. I also thought I saw what looks like a flat grayish mark on the shaft. Again it doesn't hurt and there's no red or white blisters or anything like that...I just don't remember seeing it before. I have not experienced any pain while urinating or any sort of discharge. What do you think about the tender groin/lymph area, the gray pimple and the small mark? I really am sorry to keep bothering you, but I'm on "day 3", heading into "day 4" and just very concerned about many things.
Dr. H,
Thank you for spending so much time on my questions. I do appreciate having someone like you to ask. Yes, I'm still very, very worried....haven't had any pain urinating, and the redness around my balls has gone after applying some antibiotic ointment, although the "razor burn/cut" (about one inch long) is still sort of troublesome. I also have the strange sensation of "wanting to go" and just get a weak stream - but again, no burning or anything - yet. OK, I know you're tired of this thread. I will wait as you told me to do in the beginning. I am truly glad you're out there, doc. Thank you for your patience on my concerns.
Thank you for spending so much time on my questions. I do appreciate having someone like you to ask. Yes, I'm still very, very worried....haven't had any pain urinating, and the redness around my balls has gone after applying some antibiotic ointment, although the "razor burn/cut" (about one inch long) is still sort of troublesome. I also have the strange sensation of "wanting to go" and just get a weak stream - but again, no burning or anything - yet. OK, I know you're tired of this thread. I will wait as you told me to do in the beginning. I am truly glad you're out there, doc. Thank you for your patience on my concerns.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Not an STD -- wrong symptom, too soon. Don't let your emotional reaction to the situation make your mind runaway with overreaction to normal body sensations. If this or other symptoms persist or appear, see a health care provider. No distant forum can give specific medical care. I won't have any further advice for you. Sorry.
Dr. I'm sorry to keep bothering you, but there is a new development that concerns me greatly. As I mentioned in the initial correspondence, I have been feeling a sort of "razor burn" sensation on the area adjacent to/around my testicles...they are both now quite red and appear somewhat swollen. There is also, a type of, I hate to say it, "sore" in the "crack between my leg/thigh and groin area - not directly on the testicle or on the penis. I am growing increasingly worried. The time since "contact" is now about 20 hours. Please advise.
roger all.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
There is no point in taking acyclovir. First, the statistical likelihood of herpes from a single sexual encounter is low. Second and more imporrant, the drug in not effective in preventing herpes in exposed people unless taken before exposure, or maybe within an hour afterward. Later than that, it will not prevent infection, only maybe delay appearance of symptoms by a few weeks. And the drug has no effect against any other STD. Stop taking it.
We don't need any more ventillation about your personal relationships and sex life. This forum deals strictly with STDs and is not a venue for discussing the behaviors etc that lead to them.
We don't need any more ventillation about your personal relationships and sex life. This forum deals strictly with STDs and is not a venue for discussing the behaviors etc that lead to them.
Correction: now I remember why I had the ACYCLOVIR. It wasn't for an oral surgery procedure, but rather for a really bizarre rash/skin condition I developed about one year ago. It was nothing relating to sexual intercourse since I did not have sex for three years (until last night). I developed this stange swelling and itching all over my body (including my lips), shortly after going to an onsen (Japanese bath - nothing sex-related - it's an everyday part of Japanese culture). The thought was that since I developed this skin outbreak so soon after going to the onsen, that there was "something in the water" that caused my condition.
I don't know why the docs gave me that medication since, from researching on the Internet, ACYCLOVIR is actually a medication normally provided to treat Herpes. I hope that's not some foreshadowing. Anyway, should I continue to take the ACYCLOVIR? I have 12 200mg pills remaining. I still can't stop thinking about the foolishness of last night....lots of alcohol, a longing and yearning for female companionship that I have not had for years, and momentary lust completely overwhelmed all the common sense I thought I had.
I don't know why the docs gave me that medication since, from researching on the Internet, ACYCLOVIR is actually a medication normally provided to treat Herpes. I hope that's not some foreshadowing. Anyway, should I continue to take the ACYCLOVIR? I have 12 200mg pills remaining. I still can't stop thinking about the foolishness of last night....lots of alcohol, a longing and yearning for female companionship that I have not had for years, and momentary lust completely overwhelmed all the common sense I thought I had.
First, thank you for understanding the very difficult position I am in. I feel very cheated and angry. I have a great deal of resentment toward my "wife". Although I am the one who succumbed to the tempations of a beautiful "hostess", I would not have been in that situation had I had a normal and healthy sexual relationship. I know this is not directly related to the STD concern, but I am really at the end of my rope. We have a beautiful little girl who I love more than anything in this world and I do feel tremendously guilty for my "liaison." "What would she think of me?" and all that. Unfortunately, if I leave Japan alone (I am in the military), I will have to leave my daughter here with her mother, who is a JN national. I will also feel very guilty that I "abandon" her, but what else can I do? All I have left is my military career. I am praying to God I did not contract anything.
Back to the original STD worry (apologies for my harangue), this is probably not a good idea, but I have some leftover ACYCLOVIR (200 mg) from a previous dental/oral surgery procedure. In my knee-jerk fear reaction, I began taking it. I suppose I should stop? Other than that, I will do as you say - try to remain calm and wait to see if any symptoms develop. I am so worried right now and feel like I'm "hanging on by a thread". Thank you for your understanding.
Back to the original STD worry (apologies for my harangue), this is probably not a good idea, but I have some leftover ACYCLOVIR (200 mg) from a previous dental/oral surgery procedure. In my knee-jerk fear reaction, I began taking it. I suppose I should stop? Other than that, I will do as you say - try to remain calm and wait to see if any symptoms develop. I am so worried right now and feel like I'm "hanging on by a thread". Thank you for your understanding.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I see no need to apologize or feel guilty for seeking a sexual outlet in your situation.
Unfortunately, it is not possible to assess the STD risk from a single exposure of this sort. That she is a CSW who at least sometimes does not insist on condom use certainly raises the possbility she could have an STD. However, most STDs are not transmitted with great efficiency -- the odds of infection, even if she has something, actually are in your favor. In any case, the symptoms you describe don't sound like those of any STD, and in any case no STD can cause symptoms less than 2-3 days after exposure.
Seeking testing is a good idea, if only for your mental health. But you can wait a bit. If you don't develop abnormal discharge of pus or mucus from your penis or sores on the penis in the next 2-3 weeks, that's a good bet you weren't infected with anything. Of course if symptoms appear, get checked right away. Regardless of symptoms, you could be tested at any time for gonorrhe and chlamydia (tested on urine); blood testing for syphilis and HIV requires waiting until about 6 weeks have passed.
Unfortunately, I have no direct knowledge about STD clinics or other testing facilities in Tokyo, but I'm sure they exist. But since you're not sexually active, i.e. putting nobody else risk, and since serious complications are rare in men -- and almost unheard of in less than a few weeks -- I see no particular hurry. If it were me, I'm not sure I would get tested at all if I had no symptoms; and in any case would wait 6 weeks then have a single visit and get tested for everything then. In the meantime, try to relax a bit. Nothing serious is likely to happen.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Unfortunately, it is not possible to assess the STD risk from a single exposure of this sort. That she is a CSW who at least sometimes does not insist on condom use certainly raises the possbility she could have an STD. However, most STDs are not transmitted with great efficiency -- the odds of infection, even if she has something, actually are in your favor. In any case, the symptoms you describe don't sound like those of any STD, and in any case no STD can cause symptoms less than 2-3 days after exposure.
Seeking testing is a good idea, if only for your mental health. But you can wait a bit. If you don't develop abnormal discharge of pus or mucus from your penis or sores on the penis in the next 2-3 weeks, that's a good bet you weren't infected with anything. Of course if symptoms appear, get checked right away. Regardless of symptoms, you could be tested at any time for gonorrhe and chlamydia (tested on urine); blood testing for syphilis and HIV requires waiting until about 6 weeks have passed.
Unfortunately, I have no direct knowledge about STD clinics or other testing facilities in Tokyo, but I'm sure they exist. But since you're not sexually active, i.e. putting nobody else risk, and since serious complications are rare in men -- and almost unheard of in less than a few weeks -- I see no particular hurry. If it were me, I'm not sure I would get tested at all if I had no symptoms; and in any case would wait 6 weeks then have a single visit and get tested for everything then. In the meantime, try to relax a bit. Nothing serious is likely to happen.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
