Beside myself with anxiety -- oral sex risk?

[bad_choices]

I have been faithful to my wife of ten years except for one slip up 2 months ago and I am beside myself with anxiety and sadness.

I received unprotected oral sex from a woman while away on business (to completion).  I had no other contact with her.

6 weeks later, I developed burning/stinging when urinating, similar to symptoms I have had from time to time (was diagnosed with chronic prostatitis 3-4 years ago and have had a few recurrences).

In a panic, I went to the local STD clinic last week.  They diagnosed NGU (said something about white cells in the urine) and gave me 1 week of doxycycline.  When I asked whether I needed to tell my partner, they said "wait for test results".  The results were negative for Clamidia and Gonorea, and after 1 week I still have pain.

I will be seeing my GP or a urologist next week.

In the meantime,

(1) Can I trust the negative test results?
(2) Do I need to have my wife treated?
(3) Is there anything else I might have caught orally that could harm my wife?  Trich?  Something else?

I'm terrified that this one mistake will ruin my family...... Please help...

[john032]

Wow, I could have started this exact same thread. I have the exact same situation as the guy in the first post, but have never been diagnosed with any prostrate problems. I just got my results back from the clink today and they were all negative for STD. I have been on the same meds for the last week and they do not seem to be helping. I also seem to have kind of aching feeling in my prostrate region, but my symptoms seem to come and go. I had thought the meds were working, but my symptoms were back again today.
It would seem that it has to be Prostatitis or NGU from some non STD related bacteria, but I have no idea what I am talking about. Does anyone have any more in site on this?    

[bad_choices]

thank you for your response.  a couple of follow-ups:

(1) is m genitalia transmitted orally?  is it a bug that can occur "naturally" (that is be a cause of colds)
(2) is this the recommended course even in monogamous relationships when ngu happens?

I'm really grasping at straws here and fear I have just ruined the most important thing in my life.

[ovrlyprnoid??]

I am in a very similar situation. I've been told to trust the test and ignore the rest, but it is hard. Good luck to you, I'm sure you are like me and worried over nothing.

[Imdumb]

If he does not have chlamydia or Gon, but has NGU from normal oral bacteria, what could his wife possible get from him?

Also, assuming his wife performs oral on him, could he not get NGU from his wife?  And in that case would she need to be treated?

If it were me...and it is not...but on balance with the negative tests and what the fallout could be from this presumably one time incident, I would leave it be and not tell.  But that is just me...

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I'll try to help, but I'm afraid you're going to have to tell your wife.  If you don't, most likely no harm will come to her, for reasons I will explain.  But there is no way to be sure; the only way to be absolutely certain she will not be harmed is for her to be treated.

It isn't clear to me whether you in fact acquired NGU from the oral sex event, or simply had a recurrence of prostatitis.  If prostatitis, your wife is not at risk--but NGU from the oral sex is more likely.

The exact cause of NGU from oral sex are not well known.  It is rarely chlamydia, and many (most?) cases probably are due to oral bacteria--that is, completely normal bacteria in the mouth, causing inflammation in the urethra.  If so, there probably is no risk to your wife's health.  Indeed, there is no proof that NGU ever is an important cause of female health problems, except when due to chlamydia or Mycoplasma genitalium (a newer, more recently discovered cause).  But the real risks simply are not known, and the official advice of all STD experts is that all women who are sexually exposed to men with NGU should be examined and treated.

So the answers are: 1) Yes, you can rely on the negative results for gonorrhea and chlamydia.  2) But that doesn't mean your wife doesn't need to be treated.  As I said above, all official advice is that she be examined and treated.  The chances are nothing serious will happen if she isn't treated, but I cannot advise that.

Trichomonas isn't acquired by oral sex.  It could explain your sympoms, as trich causes up to 5% of NGU cases.  But if so, you caught it from your wife.

Best wishes---  HHH, MD