Distraught over recent HSV2 exposure! please help us keep our sanity

[jimani34]

Dear Doctors,
I hope I get some sense of peace after hearing to your response . To be brief I have been in an emotional relationship with a man who is HSV2 positive. We have been best friends / close lovers and have loved each other deeply for 2 years now. We have got intimate on several occasions but never had sex due to my constant worry of contracting HSV2. After several negative blood tests and many worrisome moments we finally decided to have sex. My partner to make me feel comfortable has been on valtrex suppression not consistently though . The last month prior to the act he has been consistently on valtrex, we used a condom and just to be safe he kept his boxer shorts on. He had no outbreaks . After about a minute we realized due to the boxers the condom had rolled to where 3/4 inch of his base was exposed and that it came in contact with me . He swears he has never had any outbreaks at the base
My questions are
1. What is my risk of acquiring HSV 2 with this one time encounter ? Its day 7 and no symptoms yet
2  This is EXTREMELY weird but he is my first sexual partner .. Never had sex before so what are my chances of contracting HPV from the exposed base ? He has had 6 partners before me and the one unprotected experience unfortunately gave him hsv2

We love each other beyond redemption but this mental trauma that the disease causes plus the fear of HPV has made us reconsider if we should carry on as it hurts both of us and he hates seeing me distraught .  

Please please help us

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum. I'll address your specific questions below but before I do, I need to say that if you really care for this person as you state you do, while it is absolutely appropriate for you to take precautions against chronic viral STIs such as HSV (which you have the good fortune to know he has) and HPV which you do not know about, you should not let these factors hinder your relationship.  You have a caring partner who knows that he has HSV (unlike 80% of people who do), who has been forthright about it (unlikely all too many people with the infection) and who is taking ALL appropriate precautions against infecting you. I agree with the comments you have already received on the Community site- I have many patients who have partners with HSV who have not become infected after years of a sexual relationship.  Further, should you get HSV, it is not the end of the world by any stretch of the imagination.  

As for HPV, I hope you have had the HPV vaccine,  If so, then other than getting regular checkups as recommended, concerns about HPV are not fruitful.  

With regard to your specific questions:
1. What is my risk of acquiring HSV 2 with this one time encounter ? Its day 7 and no symptoms yet.
Even without the precautions the two of you were taking, your risk for infection from a single contact with an infected partner is less than 1 infection per 10,000 exposures.  With the precautions you took, your riskis far lower than that

2  This is EXTREMELY weird but he is my first sexual partner .. Never had sex before so what are my chances of contracting HPV from the exposed base ? He has had 6 partners before me and the one unprotected experience unfortunately gave him hsv2.

See above.  On this forum we used to state that virtually everyone gets HPV at some time in their life but that with regular PAP smears, this is not a problem.  Now, with the highly effective HPV vaccine, this is much less of a problem.  Please use the search function on this site to read about HPV and HPV risks.

finally, it seems that as you begin your intimate sexual activity with others, you have many concerns.  I suggest you go to the American Sexual Health Association web site and read on the topic of sexual health in general.  I think the perspective may be helpful to . EWH

[jimani34]

Thank you so much doctor! I appreciate your prompt responses .

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Yes, you should absolutely get the HPV vaccine. it is recommended for all women and you should take it irrespective.  The age cut-off reflects that many women haver been sexually active by age 26 so the cut-off saves the insurance companies money.  Given your sexual history, it's absolutely appropriate for you to take it now.  It may cost several hundred dollars but that is a good investment in your future health.  EWH

[jimani34]

Thank you so much for your deep insight and empathy. As I move ahead to battle my fears and live life your insight and my partners support is most crucial and im very grateful .
I have not yet had the HPV vaccine. Does it still make sense to get vaccinated after this encounter?  Im over 26 so it may not be covered but I will definitely pay out of pocket. My partner has been sexually inactive for 4 years , 2 years before me and 2 years while with me till the last encounter.
Please advise..