Paralyzed to finding out the truth

[abadphonecall]

Received a phone call 1 year ago from a woman I had a one night stand with.  She said I was one of two people she had slept with and the other guy wore a condom.  She said I had given her gentital herpes.  Stunned, I immediately felt sick.  Meaning, I went online to look at the symptoms and literally developed them as I read them.  Sounds crazy but true.  I had everything but a sore on my penis and burning urination.

She said that she had gone to the doctor 1 month after we had sex after she found a rash in her vagina.  The doctor first said she had a rash, then took a swab and it came back negative.  Next, the doctor told her she "had it" (meaning hepes).

I did not talk to the woman for some time and started asking questions after reading this site.  I do not think she ever received a positive herpes test however we shared the understanding that I gave this to her

I am sure the long and short of it is get a blood test.

I need help taking that step.  I have been to Health clinics and have been told by doctors you don't have it.  This is after showing strange bumps on my thigh, face etc.  I have even had doctors look at my anus and they have said it is hemmroids.  I have had long bouts of tingling, itching and pain shoting through my left leg and sometimes my right and different parts of my face, maybe a tingling on my lip.  I can almost predict these attacks.    


I had a rash on the area between my anus and my scotum last year.  I had been wearing the same shorts for 3 weeks and thought it was a rash but maybe it was herpes.  I can seem to get it off my mind.  It has made me a recluse and I already feel tagged as damaged goods.  I used to be sexually active before this call but I have stopped being reckless.    

Qustions:
1.  I a rash or sore on a woman's vagina genital herpes?  Can it be something else?

2.  Best step to relese the paralysis that is holding me captive?

3.  Is there a place where you can see what hepes looks like.  A trusted website?

4.  I have no sores at this time.  IS it possible that they will develop over the years?  I guess that is my biggest worry.  That and passing it on to my girlfried who I have been clear and upfront with.

Any advice is much appreciated.  

[PammySue]

And, some motherly advice...change your shorts every day, not just once every 3 weeks.  You will be banned an outcast if the ladies find that out sweetie.

[nsns]

If you do have herpes you are lucky to have a case of it that you don't even recognize! Try having 10 outbreaks a year that cause blisters, it's not very fun so even if you are positive you are very lucky! Go get the test and quit messing around..

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You answered your own question:  Have a blood test for herpes.  All the rest is icing on the cake, with no important bearing on whether or not you actually are infected.  The symptoms you describe don't sound like herpes, but that doesn't mean you aren't infected.

1) Lots of things can cause rashes in the genital area of women.  Herpes is the most common cause of genital sores, but other things are possible.  You don't provide nearly enough information for me (or you) to judge the accuracy of your partner's diagnosis. But the odds are she wouldn't have called you if she and her provider were not pretty sure about the diagnosis.

2, 3, 4) The answer to all 3 quesions is that you need a blood test for HSV-2.  Don't try to find what herpes looks like.  If the blood test is negative, you will know you don't have it.  If it is positive, then you can worry about what sort of lesions to look for.

If you haven't done so, read the herpes information in the link STD Quick Facts and Articles on the STD forum home page.  Also visit the American Social Health Association (www.ashastd.org) and the Westover Heights Clinic (www.westoverheights.com) for excellent herpes information; one of those sites may have pictures, I'm not sure.

Good luck--  HHH, MD