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Avatar universal

HIV scare-Please help me!

My story.

October 15th I had unprotected oral sex and protected vaginal sex with a stripper in Monteerrey, Mexico.  I am having nightmares that the condom may be broken, but when I pulled it out I could feel the rim of the condom. The room was kind of dark, so I don't know if it was broken as I did not see it.

I developed some bumps on my Penis. I also wanted to urinate frequently. I tested for HIV at week 1 and other tests like Gonnohrea, Syp, Hep-B, Hep c,--all negative.

Then I was in Canada on Business after a month, ie November 12th. I was not feeling too good that day,as I had worked out the the previous night and went out in the cold weather for dinner. I saw that that I also had small red bumps on my penis again.I came back to US and starting having some Sore throat, no fever. I got scared. I thought I = have HIV. For the next week and half life was nightmare. I could not sleep, din't feel like working, and felt tired. I was crying in the bathroom and always saying that I have HIV. I had anxiety and depression.

I went to the Doctor on November 17th (34 days after exposure) I tested for everything.  Hiv was -ve, but Herpes Type1 came +ve. (HIV test was Elisa) The LAb used Herpes Select for Herpes. I am pretty sure that I got Herpes from this incident.

I left for Thanks giving weekend to Minnesota, there me and my wife got Sore throat again. No fever. Anxiety and depression is killing me. I starting feeling better again.

Then I went out on business again on Dec 1st and got Sore throat, and cold , but no fever, I also saw some red bumps again. I tool Tylenol and started feeling better.

This week I am feeling better and getting to normal state.

I have been reading so much that I feel that I have HIV and I am constantly crying. I spoke to my Doctor and he feels it some Viral that is related to cold. I don't know wether to believe him or not? I am afraid.

All my Bumps were very small. No pain at all. I have had 3 eruption in 50 days. I urinate frequently now.

I have been feeling sick on and off for the past 3 1/2 weeks. Is this ARS?

I took my HIV test on Tuesday December 6th,(7 weeks and 2 days after encounter) ELIsa and PCR-RNA. The results will be back on Monday.

I am **** scared. I don't know how will I respond to my wife and family, if I test positive. I don't know what I am going to do?

My question is

1. Do you think  I may be HIV positive?
2. Do you think that the cold sore in her mouth could have transmitted HIV via oral sex.
3. Do you think I have had ARS symptoms.
4. They say people with HIV get herpes often. Is it true?
5. I urinate frequently now. Do yo think I have some kind of infection.

I don't what to do. Cant think and can't talk to my wife, as I have done a stupid thing of being unfaithful

Please help!
Please help!

I have the feeling I may commit suicide.
13 Responses
239123 tn?1267647614
As implied by your own words, and the several replies (below) that came in before this response, your reaction is seriously irrational.  The level of fear you are expressing and your own description of your mood indicate a serious need to see a mental health professional.  Please do so immediately.  I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.  Do not speak to your wife until you do this.

You had protected sex and were at extremely low risk of acquiring HIV, even if the Monterey stripper had HIV (which she probably did not).  As I say repeatedly on this forum, symptoms NEVER are a reliable indicator of HIV infection.  The standard blood tests are ALMOST ALWAYS reliable indicators, especially after at least a month has gone by.  I cannot comment on your penile bumps, but they sound subtle, not like typical herpes.  Your HSV-1 positive blood test probably was not acquired during the exposure you describe; half the population has a positive result from childhood infection, usually without known cold sores.

To your specific questions:

1) You do not have HIV.

2) No.  Oral sex almost never transmits HIV, even with canker sores, herpes, etc.  And you don't know she had such a lesion anyway.

3) No, your symptoms do not suggest ARS.  Anyway, all ARS symptoms are caused much more commonly by things other than HIV.

4) People with HIV who have recurrent herpes have more frequent outbreaks than people without HIV.  But this fact is entirely irrelevant to your situation.

5) I don't have an opinion about your frequent urination.  It might just be due to anxiety.  Given your negative test results for gonorrhea and chlamydia, you can be pretty sure it isn't an STD.  And it certainly isn't herpes or HIV.

Please ask your personal physician for an immediate referral to a mental health professional; or at least search out a suicide prevention phone counseling service.  Do it immediately.  In the meantime, try to mellow out and recognize how irrational your fears are.

Avatar universal
One more thing. The test I did for HIV was ELIZA- Qualitative Test on day 34. The test was -ve. I don't know what it means.

The Lab lady said that they don't do ELIZA Quantitative test.

Can some one shed light on this pleas as to what is the difference between  ELIZA - Qualitative and Quantitative?
Avatar universal
Bro, you need to take a deep breath,calm down and think rationally. Firstly it is more than likely the condom did not break, so you will not have acquired HIV. Secondly even IF the condom had broken the odds are extremely high that she is not even infected. thirdly ( and the odds are now way in your favour) even if the condom had failed and even if she was infected the chance of transmission to you is about 1000 to one. I have a feeling that guilt and anxiety is more than contributing to your problem and i can totally relate to that but the fact is you have more chance getting knocked over by a car than you do of getting hiv from your exposure. I hope that the feelings of suicide have subsided if not i seriously recommend seeing someone- it's not a good feeling to be having and you need an impartial view to help you see things clearly / rationally.

Good Luck - Frank
Avatar universal
Just saw your follow up - a -ve test at 34 days is good news i am sure the doc will say it is a reliable indicator you dont have hiv.
Avatar universal
I am not a doctor but i called so many hotlines and doctors this is what i found out. I am in your shoes right now and going through the same thing as you are going through...

Relax... Please take a deep  breathe. Insertive oral sex carries zero risk..Period. Protected sex is indeed protected unless your condom did not break...you have nothing to worry. anxiety ,stress can really make you feel like you really have things which you don;t have and guilt and regret are the cause of you crying...Let it go. We all are humans we are bound to make mistakes..Please forgive yourself and move on. You are fine. Lets wait and see what doctor HHH has to say.

Once again... Don;t let this anxiety and stress take a grip of your life..Please
Avatar universal
Be a man and face it. suicide is for cowards and people who don;t value their life. I know people who know they are going to die tomorrow but still smile. Nothing will happen to you. Please remove the suicide thing from ur mind and am going through the same thing u are going through and even ithought about suicide but you know its not worth it...its for those people who are week andi am sure you are very strong. Come on Man..
Avatar universal
Thanks guys.. I just checked my 34 day lab test and the Test method they used wa HIV-1/2 Plus O, HIV screen. Who makes this FDA approved kit and how accurate this kit is.

Avatar universal
For someone with serious risk (which is not your case), 42 days is around the point where an HIV test is definitive. I think 34 days is a high probability but not definitive yet.

If you're feeling suicidal, there's basically no way this has to do with your HIV risk, which is nil. You were in control enough and had enough presence of mind to put a condom on when you were with the stripper, so you should be able to get a handle on your own fears and make it through this.

I agree with the guy who just posted a few boxes up from here. Your wife needs you to be a strong husband and father. As someone with a pregnant wife and a baby daughter on the way (due in May), I recently realized that it wasn't just self-destructive to feel paralyzed by guilt over past sexual indiscretions -- and believe me, I was at infinitely higher risk than you because I gave blowjobs to men I didn't know -- it was cruel to my wife. Your wife and children love you because you are you, not because they believe you are perfect. To dawdle on this website or any other toying with the thought of suicide is a much greater cruelty to them than having had an affair. Do what you need to do to strengthen yourself and get over this.

Avatar universal
Thank you everyone. I feel very comfortable now. My anxiety is gone down and I don't have any suicidal feelings. I ahave got a grip on myself.

I am still very scared about contracting HIV. I am very hypocondriac person. Every little things that happens to me is linked to HIV.

I am praying to the Lord to make me -ve to HIV.

Thank you all for your comments.

This is a great web site
Avatar universal
What is the difference between ELIza Qualitative and Quantitative test?

Dr. Can you please shed some light.

Avatar universal
An ELISA test is qualitative, i.e., the results are either positive or negative.  To get a quantitative result (your viral load), you need to take a PCR test (assuming you were HIV positive).
Avatar universal
Doc if you don't mind, explain for me (and everyone else) the possible connection between meningitis, Bells Palsy (one sided facial paraylisis), and HIV seroconversion. That's something I failed to mention..around 2 weeks after my "suspected" exposure I developed both of these, one of which (the meningitis) seems to still be lingering around though it has gotten better. Thanks doc. I realize that it's time for me to make a donation and start my own thread and I plan on doing that as soon as I can get the timeline of events together well enough to post them accurately. Until then any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again.

P.S. Are there any other common causes of meningitis in adults other than HIV and HSV?
Avatar universal
I'm just curious..I have never seen a doc or anyone on this forum say to a poster "Yep..sounds like HIV to me!" It seems that everyone tends to lean towards the "odds" and "likelihood" that something like this may/may not happen. Odds are reassuring, but essentially they mean jack $h!T! Strange things happen, regardless of the "odds". Someone compared the odds to "being hit by a car", well people get hit by cars every day. Somebodies a$$ is probably getting ran over as we speak! Not saying this to bring anyone down, nor am I saying it to knock the doctors "hustle" because I still feel that this is a good site..all I'm saying is don't rely too much on odds and statistics. In my opinion they mean nothing. Get tested people..it's the only true source of reassurance that you will get. (Am I lying Dr. H?)
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