Welcome to the forum. Just yesterday there was a question about oral HPV, throat cancer, etc, which also containst linke to two other thread. They answers many of your questions, perhaps all of them. Take a look:
Perhaps most important, your immunization against HPV protects you from the single HPV type associated with throat cancer (HPV-16) -- so even if your partner has HPV-16, you are not at risk of catching it from her, either orally or genitally. Her HPV/CIN should have absolutely no bearing on your sexual activities together -- no need to avoid any contact of any kind, no need for condoms. To your specific questions:
1) The danger isn't in catching HIV at age 30 and up. Being age 30 and HPV positive is just a marker of possible prolonged infection. Most such women have been sexually active many years, and postive results at age 30 usally mean an infection has persisted for a long time. It is long term persistence that carries the higher risk of progression to pre-cancer or cancer, not age per se.
2) HPV can be acquired orally, but even with high risk types, the large majority of the time nothing bad happens. In your case, you are protected agains the single type that could cause problems someday. So no worries at all; if oral sex is pleasurable for you and your wife, follow through with no concern at all.
3) The vaccines are believed to be equally effective regardless of age.
4) You will not catch HPV of any of the 4 types covered by Gardasil. And any other types will remain asymptomatic and never cause you any problem.
So all is well, no risk to you. Your wife needs to follow her doctor's advice and plan about managing her pap abnormalities. Other than that, there is nothing you need to be concerned about.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD