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HIV/STDS through kissing, fingering, pre-***, etc.
I mutually masturbated with a male (I am female) on 2 different occasions. What I'm concerned about is that when we were masturbating, I felt the tip of his **** and it seemed a tad wet, but barely anything. It was dark in the room, so I couldn't see. Stupidly, I asked him, "Are you pre-cumming?" and I think he may have touched his **** to check and then fingered me, but I can't be positive. If there were any fluids on his hands, it was like barely anything, because it didn't feel like much at all. So, can I get HIV from possibly him having pre-*** on his finger and then fingering me? I am mainly concerned about HIV because I have extreme phobia of that disease, but I know this is the STD forum and I had a question about herpes as well, so I figured this was the right forum to post on. Say he did have pre-*** on his finger and manually stimulated me with it. Would there have to be a cut in my vaginal canal for the virus to transmit or could it transmit just being in the vaginal canal? Another concern I have is contracting genital herpes, as I touched his penis and it felt a little rough. I can't be certain there were bumps. The second time he fingered me, he may have touched his penis before and when he stopped to go to the bathroom and then touched my vagina. Say, he did have herpes or an active outbreak, what is the likelihood I could contract this through genital to hand to genital contact? I have been examining my vagina like crazy and so far have no symptoms. I have one little red dot on my vagina the size of a pin head, but it has not changed at all and after reading the forums it looks like herpes would change rather quickly. I think I'm mainly worried because I got vagina cuts in the past and was tested for herpes by blood and culture and it was negative. Now, I'm going to be afraid if I get a cut, it would be from this experience. If you were in my situation, would you continue unprotected sex with your regular partner?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I explained alredy how, in theory, exposures like yours might lead to catching STDs. But in practice it doesn't happen. The reason also is already partly explained: for transmission to occur, relatively large amounts of the STD bacteria and viruses need to come into contact with tissues or cells that are deep inside the body or under the superficial layers of skin. With rare exceptions, fingering or hand genital contact simply doesn't transfer enough infected secretions to allow infection to take hold.
To answer your personalized question: Yes, if somehow I found myself in your situation, I would definitely continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry of infecting her. And I wouldn't get tested for any STDs.
Of cousre you're always free to be tested despite no risk from this event, if the negative results would give you increased reassurance. If so, visit your personal physician or a Planned Parenthood or public health STD clinic. Based on the exposure described, you can definitely expect negative test results.
In addition, I recommend you stop searching the web. Anxious people tend to be drawn to information that inflames their fears, and to not see the reassuring bits. For sure don't pay any attention to stories from people who say they were infected by this or that exposure. Such judgments are often wrong -- such as someone blames a ftottage or hand-genital exposure, when in fact their regular partner, unknown to them, has been screwing up a storm with other partners.
Finally, your level of anxiety -- and your "hypochondria" (perhaps OCD?) is obviously at a level that is significantly affecting your life and happiness. This is not likely something you'll be able to successfully control without professional assistance, so I hope you'll consider counseling. I suggest it from compassion, not criticsm.
That will end this thread. Do your best to move on without worry.
To answer your personalized question: Yes, if somehow I found myself in your situation, I would definitely continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry of infecting her. And I wouldn't get tested for any STDs.
Of cousre you're always free to be tested despite no risk from this event, if the negative results would give you increased reassurance. If so, visit your personal physician or a Planned Parenthood or public health STD clinic. Based on the exposure described, you can definitely expect negative test results.
In addition, I recommend you stop searching the web. Anxious people tend to be drawn to information that inflames their fears, and to not see the reassuring bits. For sure don't pay any attention to stories from people who say they were infected by this or that exposure. Such judgments are often wrong -- such as someone blames a ftottage or hand-genital exposure, when in fact their regular partner, unknown to them, has been screwing up a storm with other partners.
Finally, your level of anxiety -- and your "hypochondria" (perhaps OCD?) is obviously at a level that is significantly affecting your life and happiness. This is not likely something you'll be able to successfully control without professional assistance, so I hope you'll consider counseling. I suggest it from compassion, not criticsm.
That will end this thread. Do your best to move on without worry.
Please answer me again doctor. I have been having a hard time focusing and this fear messes with my life. Now, I'm freaking out because I was reading a post on the Body.com and this guy participated in frottage, which is similar to mutual masturbation and his anus started bleeding and the Dr. asked if there was pre-*** and said it could cause a small risk. So, please answer me!!!! I'm so sorry, I'm so crazy.
Thank you so much Dr. HHH. I know I am a hypochondriac at times, but the main reason I was considered is because I have a regular partner of 7 years and I think my guilt is getting to me, and I couldn't bare if I gave him something. I really need to see a counselor. I am constantly worried about HIV. My ex got tested and was negative and I continually ask him too. I guess I just don't understand how pre-*** being inserted via fingering is any different than *** being rubbed into you during sex. So, if you were me, you would continue unprotected sex with your regular partner without fear of passing anything? I'm so worried to get tested even though it was no risk. We engaged in deep kisses on at least 5 different occasions.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Noted; see above.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
The reason for the 2,000 character limit is to require the entire question to be compressed to fit into the original question window. The moderators shouldn't have to read long essays, and I have never seen a question that could not easily be stated within the limit -- including yours. (On some forums, the moderator sents preferences so they never even see any follow-up comments.)
Your questions were accurately answered (several times) on the community forums. You apparently have some misunderstandings about STD/HIV transmission risks. They call them sexually transmitted diseases because you must have sex to transmit them, and kissing, fingering, or hand-genital contact don't count.
The main thing that distinguishes STDs from other infections is not just that the genitals are involved. It's that the causative bacteria and viruses evolved so that transmission requires deep deposition of infected secretions inside the body; or vigorous rubbing of infected material into the skin. (That's why initial infections with HPV, syphilis, and herpes typically appear at the sites of maximum friction during sex -- e.g., the head of the penis or the vaginal opening, and not the scrotum or buttocks.)
The details of the events you describe don't change these basic facts. While in theory some STDs, including HSV, could be transmitted by hand-genital contact or fingering, in practice this doesn't happen. In my 40 years in the STD business I have never seen such a case.
So you should stop examining yourself; do not need testing; and you owe your partner an apology for repeated questioning him (nagging him, really) about his STD/HIV status. It wouldn't matter even if he were infected. You simply have not been at risk. If and when you are sexually active in a real sense -- with penile penetration into your vagina, anus, or mouth -- choose your partners wisely and use condoms until mutual monogamy is assured. But don't worry about the sorts of exposure described here.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
The reason for the 2,000 character limit is to require the entire question to be compressed to fit into the original question window. The moderators shouldn't have to read long essays, and I have never seen a question that could not easily be stated within the limit -- including yours. (On some forums, the moderator sents preferences so they never even see any follow-up comments.)
Your questions were accurately answered (several times) on the community forums. You apparently have some misunderstandings about STD/HIV transmission risks. They call them sexually transmitted diseases because you must have sex to transmit them, and kissing, fingering, or hand-genital contact don't count.
The main thing that distinguishes STDs from other infections is not just that the genitals are involved. It's that the causative bacteria and viruses evolved so that transmission requires deep deposition of infected secretions inside the body; or vigorous rubbing of infected material into the skin. (That's why initial infections with HPV, syphilis, and herpes typically appear at the sites of maximum friction during sex -- e.g., the head of the penis or the vaginal opening, and not the scrotum or buttocks.)
The details of the events you describe don't change these basic facts. While in theory some STDs, including HSV, could be transmitted by hand-genital contact or fingering, in practice this doesn't happen. In my 40 years in the STD business I have never seen such a case.
So you should stop examining yourself; do not need testing; and you owe your partner an apology for repeated questioning him (nagging him, really) about his STD/HIV status. It wouldn't matter even if he were infected. You simply have not been at risk. If and when you are sexually active in a real sense -- with penile penetration into your vagina, anus, or mouth -- choose your partners wisely and use condoms until mutual monogamy is assured. But don't worry about the sorts of exposure described here.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
I couldn't add this before because it was too many characters, but here is some background information that may help you assess my risk.
I am a 27 year old, female from the US. The male that I engaged in these encounters with is a heterosexual male from the US. What concerns me is that it seems as though he has been with a lot of females and seemed willing to go all the way with me without knowing me very long. He said he knows I am safe because I told him I have only been with three people. Also, what concerns me is that he made a joke about HIV. He said he did that because he knows that I am a hypochondriac about stds and hiv. I have asked the guy at least 100 times if he is clean and he says he is and says I am crazy. I guess the HIV joke always is in the back of my mind.
I am a 27 year old, female from the US. The male that I engaged in these encounters with is a heterosexual male from the US. What concerns me is that it seems as though he has been with a lot of females and seemed willing to go all the way with me without knowing me very long. He said he knows I am safe because I told him I have only been with three people. Also, what concerns me is that he made a joke about HIV. He said he did that because he knows that I am a hypochondriac about stds and hiv. I have asked the guy at least 100 times if he is clean and he says he is and says I am crazy. I guess the HIV joke always is in the back of my mind.
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
