Welcome to the STD forum. You have already had accurate replies to these questions on the HPV community forum.
You are more concerned about genital HPV than you should be. Getting genital HPV is a normal and unavoidable consequence of human sexuality. You can assume you are infected, or have been, with the HPV causing your partner's pre-cancerous genital lesion. You may have even been the source of her infection, although definintely not from the lab dance. You'll never know for sure. In fact, CDC recommends that partners of persons with HPV not even get examined unless they notice warts or other abnormalities of the genitals. To your questions:
1) No way. You can't get HPV through clothing.
2) There is no test for HPV in men, either at-home or any other kind.
3) The vast majority of warts are not precancerous. If her lesion really was precancerous, most it is caused by a type other than HPV-6 or -11. This is something her doctor can answer better than I can.
4) Local spread likely has already happened. When a wart is present, usually there are several other infected areas around the genitals -- not necessarily because of sex, just natural spread. But visible warts usually don't pop up in additional areas, at least not after the first couple of months. It's a good idea to avoid scratching the genital area, which might spread visible warts around. But it doesn't happen often and isn't worth a lot of worry.
At this point, there is no reason not to continue unprotected sex with your partner. Undoubtedly you are already sharing her HPV infection, either because you caught it from her or she caught it from you. Either way, you can expect it to go away, if it hasn't already.
Here are some other threads that discuss various aspects of HPV. You should find them reassuring. You can find hundreds of others through the search button.
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/980849
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/1025936
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/761416
Regards-- HHH, MD