Thanks for clarifying the location; as noted above, this would be an aty[ical location for herpes. Initial herpes rarely occurs in hair-bearing areas.
I just realized you have been asking herpes-related questions on the forum a long time. Let's plan on making this the last one. You really need to get over "freaking out" about herpes every time you develop a skin problem "down there".
Welcome to the forum.
Before I even read your question, I'm going to guess that you have "something else", not herpes. An important take-home message about genital herpes is that when genital herpes causes symptoms at all, usually they are very typical. "Atypical" herpes is largely a misnomer. When people have symptoms not initially recognized as herpes, usually it is because they are mild -- not because they are otherwise unusual. But people with any genital area symptoms at all, without herpes blisters/sores, usually do not have herpes. That includes people with many symptoms often listed in herpes educational materials, like tingling, skin burning, red rashes, and so on. If herpes blisters/sores have never been observed, herpes is unlikely. Also, herpes never causes ongoing symptoms for any length of time. Symptoms rarely last more than 1-2 weeks, especially for recurrent outbreaks; outbreaks never occur more often than once every 4-6 weeks; and between outbreaks there are no symptoms at all.
This isn't mean to lecture you. I'm just taking the opportunity to help future users with unexplained genital symptoms who may be concerned about herpes. Now to your questions.
What you describe really doesn't sound like herpes. Another characteristic of herpes lesions is that they change over several days -- red bump to blister to open sore to scab, over 5-10 days. Also, herpes lesions are quite superficial, whereas sebaceous cysts, pimples, etc are deeper. Think of herpes lesions as "on" the skin, the others as "in" the skin, often welling up from below. What you describe sounds more like the latter. Finally, location. You don't say exactly where this lesion is. Although herpes can occur anywhere around the genital area, initial outbreaks usually are at sites of maximum friction during sex: the penis itself or, in women, the vaginal opening and labia minor, or anus if sexually exposed.
Of course, a discussion like this is not definitive. The only way to know for sure is to see a health care provider. But from what you say, herpes seems unlikely.
Regards--- HHH, MD
Should also say this bump or ulcer or whatever it is located at or just below the base of the penis. I'm told its relatively rare to get herpes in this location.