I'm glad you spoke with the other partner, and to learn that aspect turned out OK. You really need not seriously worry about risk of HIV transmission to your wife.
However, we have said nothing about chlamydia or gonorrhea. From simple epidemiologic probabilities, they are much more likely in this situation than HIV. If you want to maximize protection for your wife, disregard HIV and have a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia--unless your new partner has been tested recently with negative results.
HHH, MD
For everyone, turns out she already has herpes. Was not something we discussed prior to the event as with most regretable situations our better judgement was clouded by alcohol.
I was on supressive therapy in the past, not to prevent transmission but to supress the constant outbreaks I was expercing after first contracting herpes. The supressive therapy did work for the purpose I intended and eventually I quit the therapy and until Monday had not had a breakout for a long time.
I appreciate the candor of this board and aplogize for seeming insensitive with my orginal post. I was, and still am, concerned with how my poor decision could impact my wife.
Whoops, I misread both your comment and sundays, lol. Never mind.
perhaps you don't mean to be judgemental but it sure comes across that way. not sure how you can be a little more faithful.
is that like being a little more pregnet?
we are talking about his medical concerns , not his values.
I think sunday was asking because she has herpes herself, and is curious about the effectiveness of suppressive therapy in preventing transmission to HSV2-negative partners. She has another post about that subject further down the board :-)
hello. i would be interested in knowing if the original poster who had hsvii for 10 years was on a supressive therapy at the time of this incident. thank you.
I know we are not supposed to cast judgment on those who post but I need to make a comment and if I get banned so be it. Shouldn't the girl you had unprotected sex with be writing in instead of you? It's bad enough that you are having sex with a stranger when your wife is out of town but why in the love of God are you having unprotected sex exposing someone to HSV2 when you know you have it??? Is the reason because she also has it and you two discussed it? I honestly do sympathize with you and hope your outbreak is nothing serious but maybe you should take this as a sign to either be a little more careful or a little more faithful!
Your risk of getting HIV is low. It probably is unlikely that your casual partner has HIV; and even if so, the risk of transmission for a single exposure (even in the presence of herpes) is low. Getting HIV could not trigger a herpes outbreak within 24 hours. But if you want to be sure about HIV, you can get tested, as you suggest.
From the title of your post and the first 3 sentences, I thought you were going to express concern for your partner. The risk of HSV transmission probably is highest in the 24 hours before onset of an outbreak. Her risk of getting HSV-2 from you is infinitely higher than the chance you caught HIV from her. You should contact her immediately and let her know; indeed, you are ethically obligated to try hard to do so, even if you have to do some detective work to identify or locate her. When you reach her, ask her whether she has HIV. Since you will be expressing a kindness in telling her about your herpes, you likely can be confident she will be truthful about her HIV status.
Minor semantic point: "Fellatio" means mouth-to-penis contact; mouth to female genitals is "cunnilingus".
Please do contact your casual partner. Best wishes-- HHH, MD