My advice about STD/HIV testing follows two tracks, which might seem to conflict with one another. First, the specific exposures you describe are essentially zero risk, for STDs as well as HIV. Condoms work and oral sex is low risk even without condom protection. Second, people who are sexually active outside permanent, committed relationships--and this obviously includes you--are wise to have periodic STD/HIV testing, like once a year. But of course that doesn't necessarily apply when the casual sex events are infrequent and always are condom protected.
So there it is. I see no likelihood you could have acquired anything during the two exposures you describe, and no risk to your wife if you resume relations with her. But I never guarantee someone isn't infected. Your choice whether or not to see a provider for testing.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
Follow up to above - the second case was 3 months ago. No other type of symptoms - is it safe to sleep with my wife?
Thx & v/r
mistakeineurope
Wow - thanks for the quick reply. I know I really should not add a question on - but - I read in another answer that Russia has a high HIV rate among prostitutes - I would imagine this would apply to former eastern block countries as well. Both these girls were from Russia or a former block countries. Also, during the second exposure, the raw foreskin was so bad it hurt - I guess it could be classified as an open cut - no blood but the top layers of already thin skin were worn down - as I mentioned above I'm circumcised with a lot of foreskin. Does either of these facts change your response?
This has been a very dark period in my life - these two cases are the only time I've ever committed a sexual act outside my marriage. It's been a tough road, mistakes I will never make again - to be honest I'm not even sure how to face my wife and kids.
Again Dr., thank you.
v/r
mistakeineurope
You happened to catch me at my computer terminal.
Yes, HIV is more prevalent in Russia than in western Europe or North America. Still most CSWs aren't infected and the additional information doesn't change my opinion or advice.
Last question - then no further post. Based on these circumstances (that appear all low risk) if I was seen in your clinic would you advise testing?
v/r
You came here for reassurance. I gave it. Obviously you are emotionally unable to accept it. You do not need testing based on the circumstances you describe. But if you will sleep better knowing you have a negative HIV test, it's fine with me. If you showed up in my clinic, I would say exactly the same things I said above, that it's your decsion, not mine.
This thread is over.