Welcome to the forum. I'll try to help. The bottom line is that I am certain your symptoms are not due to any STD and are entirely unrelated to your husband's sexual indiscretion 4 years ago. Here are the several reasons why:
First, you describe a low risk exposure. Condom-protected vaginal sex is of course very low risk, and oral sex is generally safe even without condoms -- not totally free of STD possibility, but much safer than unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Second, no STD is a likely cause of a painless bump either on the testicle itself or of the skin of the scrotum (it isn't clear which of these you mean). And none of his other symptoms is consistent with any STD. Third, any STD that could conceivably have caused any such symptoms would have cleared up on its own by this time. The only STDs that could last 4 years are herpes, HPV, and syphilis, and there simply is no chance any of these is responsible for the sorts of health problems you describe. Fourth, his test results show he isn't infected. Fifth and last, your own symptoms also are not those of any STD. Yeast (thrush) is not an STD, and of course women get them all the time; probably every woman has a vaginal yeast infection a few times in her life, and some have more problems with yeast than others -- but it's never a result of STD.
Your closing comment "This is very real" suggests you fear I might think your symptoms are psychological. Your symptoms for sure are real, whether or not there is a psychological component to how much they concern you. But you can be very confident that whatever the causes of your and your husband's symptoms, they are not due to any infection from his commercial sex exposure.
So continue to work with your doctor or clinic to figure it out. But you can safely put aside any concern about STDs.
I hope this is helpful to both you and your husband. Best wishes--
HHH, MD
Thank you for your quick response. I want to clarify a couple things. My husband (soon to be ex) had vaginal and anal sex with the call girl. He also said he performed oral sex on her. His bump was on the scrotum skin near the base of his penis. He did not tell me about it until about a year after. He said it was raised, a cm or two and very ugly, painless, but not open.
My obvious concern is syphilis. I worry that he could have transmitted it to me and then it cleared up before he was tested. He did take pcn for strp at one point.
The infectious disease dr. Told me I could have had folliculitis. Said it could be mrsa or other bacteria. So I wonder if that old become systemic.
Is there some type of specialist I should see. Any other thoughts? Thank you.
This information does not change my opinion or advice. Your description of your husband's skin lesion doesn't sound like syphilis, but sounds typical for folliculitis or a boil -- which apparently was what his doctor thought as well. In any case, his negative syphilis blood test proves that was not the diagnosis.
I have no advice about other doctors to see. My main advice is to drop any and all concerns about any STD. It is understandable that you are stressed and feel betrayed by all this, but do not confuse those concerns with STDs and other infections. They simply are not an issue at this time.