Nervous / Guilt

[IG9]

Hi ,   last Thursday night i visited a strip club and had several lap dances .  the one girl touched her vagina and at one point passed her fingers across my lips . I'm not sure if it was directly after she touched herself or not .  Also i was wearing jeans and underwear as she was wearing just a g string.   She touched herself on top of her g string.   My pants felt damp and my underwear had spots from pre *** .   I inspected my underwear and didn't see blood or anything that night .   After washing my underwear a stain has shown up and im not sure if its blood or not .  I'm very paranoid and cant even talk to my fiance because im ashamed that i might have contracted a STD or even worst HIV .  I don't want to put my fiance's health at risk so im considering coming clean and just ending our relationship cause im not sure exactly what my HIV status is anymore .  

I also had an incident when i was talking to my fathers friend at the bar and he accidently spit in my eye during conversation.  

Thanks ,

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the forum.  Thanks for your question.

Neither HIV nor any other STDs can be transmitted through clothing.  No how, no way, never happens.  And also no possibility from the other touching described, e.g. your lips after contacting her vaginal area.  There is no way you could put your fiance's health at risk in this situation.  Whatever you and she currently do sexually can safely continue without risk.  Don't confuse your regret about a sexual decision to STD risk from that event.  They aren't the same.

In summary, don't worry about it, don't get tested for anything, and for goodness' sake drop any ideas of ending your relationship on account of this event.

Best regards--  HHH, MD

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Trust me on this:  it is IMPOSSIBLE you caught any STD from the lap dance.  Any and all symptoms you have now, or may develop in the future, will not be due to any STD from that event.  Don't keep asking.  Of course see a doctor if you continue to have symptoms you are concerned about, but STDs are not in the picture.

That will end this thread.  Do your best to move on.

[IG9]

Hello doctor I have been feeling a bit under the weather these past 2 days . I have minor soar throat n body temperature changes . idk if this even is related in any way or I'm just anxious . I went skiing the other day to n was setting quiet a bit in cold weather . my mind is running around as u can see . sorry for the question just trying to not consider the worst .

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The risk would be no different if the stain were blood.

Some men "do this [lap dances etc] day in and day out" knowing that such events carry no risk for STD, and many don't consider it cheating on their partners if there is no sex.  To each his own, and you'll have to make your own decisions.  But as long as there's no intercourse (penis inside vagina, rectum, or mouth) then STD risk isn't part of the picture.

So do your best to move on.  You haven't done anything unusual or unsafe.  Don't overreact about it.

[IG9]

Thanks for the previous answer .  Thank you very much .  My concern was my fiance and i just wanted to be sure .  We are trying to have a baby and i have been avoiding sex since then .   Last question as i dont want to obsess and want to move on from this .   Would the stains on my underwear make any difference if they were blood .   After i washed them a stain appeared .  Inside and outside of the underwear .   Its more of a yellowish then a dark blood stain .   And like i said before that night i was actually looking and i saw nothing but pre *** .   I want to move on from this but i feel awful for what i have done and am just hurt that i could put my wife at risk .  I know you said i havent and i thank you for your expert knowledge .  This will be my last question .  Thanks in advanced for all your information .   Im sure i need to relax and move on and never put myself in a situation where my brain lets me think these awful things .   Idk how men do it day in and day out .  Thanks DOC .