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Partner has herpes - I have no traditional symptoms - waiting to test
My girlfriend was recently diagnosed with herpes that I know I could not have given to her for a variety of reasons. I was in a monogamous relationship for two years before I started dating her, and that woman has no health concerns.
The main reason I know is that before we started going out, she had a full weekend encounter with a previous boyfriend and had significant irritation after that encounter and then some type of sore or other physical sign of irritation showed up on her clitoris and perineum. She went and was tested; the tests were negative for herpes. She told me about this negative test, and so I concluded it would be OK to have unprotected sex since we were in a monogamous relationship - although the time between the encounter with the ex and with me was only a few weeks. She would have irritation after sex but attributed that to other factors (I am much taller than she is - draw your own conclusions). Because I travel a lot for my job, we would have sex usually only on the weekends and only if she was not irritated. So maybe our average was once a week.
In any event, four days after we last had sex, she had an outbreak, worst one she had since before we started dating. She went and got the HSV-2 test, and it came back positive.
She had not adequately communicated either the amount of sex she'd had with the ex before we started dating, nor had she really communictaed the severity of the first outbreak. Otherwise, I would have been more cautious. Still, we never had sex if she was irritated, even though we did not know it was herpes at that time.
In any event, it has been one month since we last had sex. I have never had any sores or any outward physical symptoms of any kind whatsoever. However, I have had aching in my testicles and some pain in the area - mild sensations when I urinate and also very mild itching. However, my testicles are not sensitive to touch, there has been no pain in the penis, and everything looks completely normal.
I am waiting to get the HSV-2 HerpeSelect test because I wanted sufficient time to pass. My three questions are: Are the symptoms I am experiencing consistent with herpes, or basically could I be giving myself some psychosomatic symptoms because I am (a) angry with her, (b) completely focused mentally on monitoring anything going on in my genitals - and (c) because I am worried? I ask this because these symptoms were not prevalent until she told me she was positive for HSV-2.
The second is - have I waited sufficient time for the test or should I wait longer?
Finally, what are the odds I have it (I won't hold anyone to a prediction)? Thanks to anyone for their help.
The main reason I know is that before we started going out, she had a full weekend encounter with a previous boyfriend and had significant irritation after that encounter and then some type of sore or other physical sign of irritation showed up on her clitoris and perineum. She went and was tested; the tests were negative for herpes. She told me about this negative test, and so I concluded it would be OK to have unprotected sex since we were in a monogamous relationship - although the time between the encounter with the ex and with me was only a few weeks. She would have irritation after sex but attributed that to other factors (I am much taller than she is - draw your own conclusions). Because I travel a lot for my job, we would have sex usually only on the weekends and only if she was not irritated. So maybe our average was once a week.
In any event, four days after we last had sex, she had an outbreak, worst one she had since before we started dating. She went and got the HSV-2 test, and it came back positive.
She had not adequately communicated either the amount of sex she'd had with the ex before we started dating, nor had she really communictaed the severity of the first outbreak. Otherwise, I would have been more cautious. Still, we never had sex if she was irritated, even though we did not know it was herpes at that time.
In any event, it has been one month since we last had sex. I have never had any sores or any outward physical symptoms of any kind whatsoever. However, I have had aching in my testicles and some pain in the area - mild sensations when I urinate and also very mild itching. However, my testicles are not sensitive to touch, there has been no pain in the penis, and everything looks completely normal.
I am waiting to get the HSV-2 HerpeSelect test because I wanted sufficient time to pass. My three questions are: Are the symptoms I am experiencing consistent with herpes, or basically could I be giving myself some psychosomatic symptoms because I am (a) angry with her, (b) completely focused mentally on monitoring anything going on in my genitals - and (c) because I am worried? I ask this because these symptoms were not prevalent until she told me she was positive for HSV-2.
The second is - have I waited sufficient time for the test or should I wait longer?
Finally, what are the odds I have it (I won't hold anyone to a prediction)? Thanks to anyone for their help.
I found out I had HSV-2 four days ago...I could say I am a wreck considering that I have had four relationships in my life and now that I am 28 years old and have this, kind of puts me down. I dont regret anything as I fell in love with the guy. I told him that this happened and I also told him that my doctor told me it must have come from him. He doesnt even know what HSV is...so I explained, he felt terrible.He will check with his doctor. I have been trying to read on the net whether the fact that this man transmitted this to me (even though we used protection)does that mean that I should not have sex with him again? Are there any risks that i will have outbreaks every time. I am crazy about him, is that the end of a lovely story? If this relationship does not last does that mean that every time I have sex I need to tell my partner that I have this beforehand? You may transmit HSV2 even when you dont have outbreaks? I dont know why I cant get these answers anywhere, can anyone help me out?
Hi HighlyConcered. I recently have had a problem simmular to yours. The whole psychological symptoms comment by the MD has put my mind at ease for now. I hope you are not infected. Thanks for everyone posting on this comment because it has personally helped me as well. I had a drunken encounter with a woman who was infected and did not tell me. She pretty much took advantage of me. This was my 2nd sexual encounter i've ever had. I am 19 years old if that helps in your advice to me. I was terribly drunk and we ended up preforming oral sex on each other. Neither one of us orgasmed. The next day she told me she contracted it about a year and a half ago. She said she has not had an outbreak for 6 months and she did not have any outbreak or symptoms at the time we had the sexual encounter. I have been having serious psychological stress from this. I have no symptoms at all but just like HC I have some psychological symptoms. but after reading his post I feel they are simply psychosomatic. We only had that one encounter and it didn't last long as we were enterrupted by others then parted ways. It has been 2 days now and I have no symptoms whatsoever. Does anyone feel that it is likely I have been infected? I plan on getting tested in 6 weeks then 3 months. I will not be having any sexual encounters until after the 3 months test and only if it comes up negative. The last 2 days have been hell and I am under alot of emotional stress. I have not been able to talk to anyone about this. All comments are welcomed. I also took about 3000 MG's of Cephalexin capsules the next day. I did not know anything about HSV-2 and thought maybe the antibiotics could kill off the bacteria before it set it if I was infact infected. Again I have no symptoms whatsoever and this is my 2nd sexual encounter i've ever had. The first was about 5 months ago with a 100% healthy partner. Thank you all.
The amount of sex your partner had is irrelevant. The fact is, she got tested, and her results were negative at that time. She was doing the responsible thing in getting tested, and she even TOLD you about the event - even though this all happened before you were together. That's more than most people would do, and the sign of a truly caring, considerate and thoughtful partner. It's okay to be angry that this might have happened, but I think it's not okay to direct that anger at her. I'm sorry this is freaking you out, but I'm way MORE sorry about the way it sounds like you reacted with your gf.
I appreciate all of your thoughts. I guess my point was that she did tell me about what turned out to be the initial outbreak, as I think she should before we were going to start having sex. The way in which it was portrayed did not set off alarms for possible herpes infection. Had she fully told me the story (i.e. he and I had a lot of sex and then this first incident of pain/outbreak happened a few days to a week afterward) I would have been a lot more cautious. That's my point. But I see yours as well.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
In case anybody cares, I did not read MF's comment before I posted my own response. Obviously we think alike, though, on the business about HC's anger with his partner and that she had no obligation to discuss her sexual history with him.
HHH, MD
HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You were having sex with someone with herpes, during the time she likely was most infectious--i.e., soon after she acquired the infection and was in the process of seroconverting to HSV-2. That suggests significant risk for you. On the other hand, she apparently wasn't having symptoms of active disease, so the odds are pretty good you weren't exposed.
That you didn't get typical symptoms suggests you weren't infected, but doesn't prove it. Most initial infections cause no symptoms that are recognized after the fact. (The symptoms you describe do not sound much like herpes. Your own suggestion that they might be psychogenic is a clue; most people who suspect an emotional origin for their symptoms probably are right.) Many people who are especially alert to the possibility of having been infected, and are on the lookout for symtpoms (like you), probably would know it if they were infected.
However, the only way to know for sure is to get tested, as you are planning to do. Most people will develop positive blood tests in 6 weeks, but sometimes it takes 3 months. I suggest waiting 3 months and having a single test; but if your nerves won't stand the wait, then have a 6 week test, then 3 months if negative at 6 weeks.
I don't understand why you are angry with your partner. From your description, she did not intentionally mislead you about having herpes; she didn't know it when you were together. (It isn't her fault if her diagnostic tests were negative.) And I don't think people starting new sexual relationships have any obligation to divulge their past sexual history to their new partners--i.e., she didn't do wrong by not telling you she had other partners recently.
Bottom line: It is unlikely you acquired herpes, but testing is the only way to be sure.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
That you didn't get typical symptoms suggests you weren't infected, but doesn't prove it. Most initial infections cause no symptoms that are recognized after the fact. (The symptoms you describe do not sound much like herpes. Your own suggestion that they might be psychogenic is a clue; most people who suspect an emotional origin for their symptoms probably are right.) Many people who are especially alert to the possibility of having been infected, and are on the lookout for symtpoms (like you), probably would know it if they were infected.
However, the only way to know for sure is to get tested, as you are planning to do. Most people will develop positive blood tests in 6 weeks, but sometimes it takes 3 months. I suggest waiting 3 months and having a single test; but if your nerves won't stand the wait, then have a 6 week test, then 3 months if negative at 6 weeks.
I don't understand why you are angry with your partner. From your description, she did not intentionally mislead you about having herpes; she didn't know it when you were together. (It isn't her fault if her diagnostic tests were negative.) And I don't think people starting new sexual relationships have any obligation to divulge their past sexual history to their new partners--i.e., she didn't do wrong by not telling you she had other partners recently.
Bottom line: It is unlikely you acquired herpes, but testing is the only way to be sure.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
I think the odds are slim that you contracted it from her. The 4%/year statistic is for couples having sex 2-3 times/week, only avoiding sex during outbreaks, over the course of an entire year. Those are pretty good odds. And honestly, even if it turns out you DO have herpes, it's entirely possible you had it before this relationship. 25% of the population has genital herpes, and absence of symptoms means nothing. But regardless, my guess would be you're right; your symptoms are a result of anxiety and nothing more.
However, I don't understand why you're angry with your gf; she did the responsible thing and got tested, and regardless of symptoms her results at that time were negative. I certainly don't think you can blame her for not being able to predict the future. And as for her ex, her past is her past. She's not required to share *any* info about her sexual past, unless she wants to. I can understand your concern and frustration, but I certainly wouldn't let this interfere with a good relationship.
However, I don't understand why you're angry with your gf; she did the responsible thing and got tested, and regardless of symptoms her results at that time were negative. I certainly don't think you can blame her for not being able to predict the future. And as for her ex, her past is her past. She's not required to share *any* info about her sexual past, unless she wants to. I can understand your concern and frustration, but I certainly wouldn't let this interfere with a good relationship.
The fact that you never had sex during an outbreak and the fact that you don't show symptoms are encouraging. You're probably fine,but of course, only a test can tell since you had a risky encounter. Good luck to you.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
