Please HELP: Seeking Dr perspective w/ mutual stimulation involving absoutly no penial penitration

[fifty1fifty]

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Ok... I have to admit that I feel a little over anxious and unrational for asking this question, but I am a very sexual individual and ever since a sexual assult that occured earlier this year, I have been having problems with the need for sexual fufilment and a serious fear of an sti.
The other day I engaged in mutural stimulation with a guy I had just began dating (who ironically has decided he now wants nothing to do with me because we didnt go all the way-despite the fact I had outlined this for him before we even touched, I said Im not ready for SEX, especially not w/o a test from him).  Nevertheless, I am worried about herpies from him.  I have absoutly no symptoms, but keep replaying the night in my mind.  I know he masturbated, I did as well, and we also tuched one another (vaginal fingering/jacking off).  Now I think good time past before we tuched one another...i mean we didnt just go straight from tuching ourselves to touching eachother...but I dont know how long it takes for the bacteria to die, or if it even dies?  So Im worried that through mutural stimulation he could have past something on to me.  He also ejaculated on the upper side of my stumich, and I am worried about the potential that idonno his *** could somehow touched me down there (Im a female).  This (the ejaculation part) happened when he was done (obviously) and I finished myself off after.  I want to know if I have anything to worry about...statistically speaking, and how soon after this exposure that happened Monday evening, should I get tested.  Is it 7-20 days, and what is average? How accurate will a test 1wk vs. 2wks be? Oh more info:
oh the guy was 25 and has had 5partners, no odd rash or anything that I saw or felt, lights were both on and off...
- Thank you for your time....

Maybe: I dont know, maybe Il call him and say I have a burning felling (a lie) and ask him if I should worry, or if it's just a UTI... that way I could get his testing info out of him? OR bad idea?

[whatisay]

Slow down-Not every sexual encounter results in an STD-If they did then we would all have them every day.  You had an open an honest talk with this man- that shold let you know that he is open about his history- that also lets you know he uses safe sex practices this all reduces the risk yoiu had(if any risk means that he was infected so that he might pass it to you rememeber even sex with an infected party does not mean it will always get passed on).  So you are worried that does not mean you have an STD- I think you might watch for symptomns over the next fewe weeks- if none develop your worries will decrease-then get tested just to put it out of you mind.

[fifty1fifty]

The F'n weekend hasnt even past and I'v F'd up again! Last night was the 1yr anerversery of the my ex who sexually assulted me.  So of course like a typical rape victim I threw myself a pitty party involving champaigne, and called up a past friend w/ benefits (but never any sex b4).  We had sex 3 times, protected, and a little oral him to me, me to him...slight cut in gums, but mainly im worried about the sex.  I took a shower today and noticed like 2 tears between my vaginia and my anus (the lil bridge between the two), so yeah Im worried.  So much for worring about touching someone with my hands huh?! We had the sex talk months ago when we were seeing eachother then, and again last night and today.  He was tested just before we were getting together in July, and he says he hasnt been with anyone sense, but that doesent mean the test was accurate as in 6wks fallowing his last encournter.  He was also does not have sex without condoms; he already has one kid form 6yrs ago, and has been cautious ever sense he found out one of his coworkers is hiv positive. Oh between one of the times we were having sex, we stopped b/c i was dry, then began again about 10mins latter with the same condom...he hadnt came in it or anything.  We are both disapointed in ourselves for this, as we had both intended to stay cellibate for quite a while.  Am I stressing for no reason, or should I consider updating my entire sexual screening profile again for stds, and consider taking pep's or whatever those drugs are called for my encounter to prevent hiv puss another hiv test in 6wks...or not?
SORRY TO BURDEN YOU WITH MY PATHETIC LACK OF JUDGMENT

[fifty1fifty]

Ok Dr. Edward are you saying that hand to genital std spread is more on the lines of being "theoretical"... is that what Im hearing???? Oh and irronically, I went to the dr's and do have early stages a yeast infection, but nothing else.  Guess that's carma for me thinking about being dishonest to this partner! Im about due though, havnt had one all year.  My dr is telling me what you guys said... but Im still a little worried, infact maybe even more worried since I'v got the yeast infection, though I think I may have seen signs of it last Friday before I had my sexual encounter.  I am still thinking about approaching him to ease my concern, if he was tested with or following his last partner to ease my mind. Are people typically honest in the face of such blunt questions about their sexual history???? And is it fair for me to even approach the issue with him if I show no signs of anything??? Finally, how bad is herpies (i think herpies and scabes are the only things that have ever been spread from hand to genital conatact), I heard most pl. only show signs of the bacteria once in their lives and take meds for the time it takes for the outbreak to go away, the bacteria stays housed in their spinal fluid, but they live normal healthy lives/sex lives only w/ a greater risk of other std infection,  is that true???

Finally, thanks for the support on my decision  to be relatively abstanent... its ben a hard year and I appreciate any and all support.  The I told you so's, and you asked for it's are getting old fast!
-me

[Edward W Hook, MD]

First, congratulations on your decision to wait until sex is right for you.  You had a bad experience earlier this year and you should be the one to decide when you have sex next.  At the same time, I think that your anxiety is getting the best of you.  Hand to genital contact just does not transmit STD.  In most instances when couples are engaged in mutual masterbation some secretions get spread around.  Nonetheless, STD transmission from such events just does not happen.  You did not get an STD from this experience and do not need to be tested.  

Calling him and pretending you have symptoms is a bad idea.  It is not true and not fair to him.  If you want to talk with him, be truthful.  He sounds as though he was a low risk partner so, to start with the risk of his having an STD to pass on to you is low.  Then, as explained above, the nature of your exposure was safe sex.  Please stop worrying.  EWH

[whatisay]

Stop worrying.  The doctor wil tell you that STD's are never passed by hand to genital contact.  The sperm on your belly would not cause an STD- If some did drip downward it is also not a high risk for catching an STD.  Depending on the STD you are testing for the time differs.  some 2-3 days after exposure- some syphilis and maybe herpes could be 3 months.  But the risk is so low you should not worry.  If you can't get it out of your head then test, but only to help you calm your fears-there is no need to based upon this event alone.