I'll try to help. First, congratulations on a common-sense, self-protective slant on HPV. More women should do what you are doing, seeking general information and considering strategies for prevention. But second, I fear you have gone too far in your search for knowledge. I have the sense you are overthinking the risks of HPV. Anyway, I'll start with some general comments, to put my replies to your specific questions into perspective.
As a sexually active human being, you can expect to have a genital HPV infection someday; it happens to almost everybody. Having had one (and perhaps two) lifetime sex partners, that alone predicts a 20-30% chance you have had HPV already; and since your known partner had several partners, your chance may be somewhat higher than that. Also, a small proportion of HPV infections probably are acquired by heavy petting (e.g., hand-genital contact) -- another reason a low no. of sex partners doesn't indicate someone is not at risk.
In other words, HPV doesn't behave in the way most people think about most STDs -- literally everyone is at risk, not just those with high risk sexual lifestyles. Further, when someone does show up with HPV, usually it is not possible to know when or from whom it was acquired. Finally, pap smears really are not a test for HPV. Women with HPV can have normal paps for years, then pop up with an abnormal one. (An abnormal pap is good evidence HPV is present; but a normal pap is NOT evidence that HPV is absent.)
These are exactly the reasons that the two main HPV prevention strategies are necessary for all women, not just those with apparent risks for STD. Those strategies are 1) to be immunized with Gardasil, the vaccine that prevents the 2 HPV strains that cause almost all genital warts and 2 others that cause about 70% of cervical cancer cases. Once immunized, the chance of important HPV disease is markedly reduced -- even though infection with other types isn't prevented. And 2) get regular pap smears, which is virtually 100% protective against serious HPV disease.
For all these reasons, I believe you should stop searching on line for bad news about HPV; get immunized; then don't worry very much about it. Just have a normal sex life, by which I mean you should choose your partnerships based on your own standards and attractions; risk of HPV should not be a consideration. (Of course, maybe a little common sense if a prospective partner is known for sure to have an active infection at the time -- but that really won't come up very often.)
Finally, remember that almost all HPV infections are trivial affairs. Even with the high risk types, actual invasive cancer is rare. And warts are an unpleasant inconvenience, not a health threat that is worth losing sleep over.
OK, lecture over. On to your specific questions.
1) True, warts normally appear within 2-3 months (maybe as long as 6 months) after exposure. After that time, it is unlikely someone was infected with a wart-causing ("low risk") HPV strain -- but not impossible. In rare cases warts may pop up years later.
2) The incubation period -- the interval from catching HPV and appearance of visible warts or pap smear abnormalities -- is no different, to my knowledge, for high risk HPV types (e.g., HPV-16, 18, 31, 45, and others) or low risk ones (e.g., HPV-6 and 11). However, it is certainly more common for high-risk than low-risk types to cause abnormal pap smears many years later.
3 [below]) I suggest you cross that bridge when you come to it. But if someday you have an abnormal pap, you should expect to not know exactly where or when you caught it. It could be from either partner.
You're doing the right thing by having your labial bumps examined. But most genital warts look just like warts. Most people have had warts on their hands as kids. If you did, that's pretty much what you could expect genital warts to look like.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Sorry, one more question
3.) If my yearly pap next month turns up abnormal from HPV, is it more likely that I received it from my bf or this other possible encounter? What if exam shows warts, what are the respective likely-hoods?
Thank you so much again, and I apologize if this has been covered before, but I couldn't seem to find it on the previous forums.
Thank you very much for your response, it definitely helps ease my concerns. I definitely am over thinking, probably due the extreme guilt and ambiguity concerning the whole situation. Either way, it was good to get some clearer answers about everything!