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Risk of STDs from kissing/oral with escort

Dear Doctor,

I went on a date with a girl who is a part-time escort. She wants to have sex with me, along with everything that sex entails (fingering, kissing, oral, etc.). I very much want to have sex with her, as well, but am concerned about the risk of STDs. Do you think there is a reasonable risk I will contract herpes and/or another STD if I spend a night kissing/fingering/and receiving unprotected oral sex from this girl?

She says her escort work volume is inconsistent. Sometimes she will have sex with 5 men in a single day, but then, during a slower period, she may only have sex with 2 men during a month-long period.

She often doesn't use protection for oral sex with these men.

Also, in her private sex life, she is promiscuous. She will have random sex with men she meets through the internet, in a bar, etc. Presumably, she does not employ protection during oral sex with these men, as well.

She says she always uses protection for vaginal sex.

So, what is your opinion of the level of risk I assume by kissing this woman (making out for many minutes), fingering this woman (again, for many minutes), receiving unprotected oral sex from her, and having protected vaginal sex with her?

Also, she likes to be spanked/slapped. Am I exposing myself to additional risk by slapping her *** and vagina?

Thanks for your insight,

2 Responses
239123 tn?1267647614
Welcome to the forum.  Thanks for your question.

Escorts (meaning upscale, high-cost sex workers who work by appointment) often are at low risk for most STDs.  However, this depends on selecting low risk clients to the best of their ability (e.g., mostly monogamous or married men) and consistent use of condoms for vaginal or anal sex.  Oral sex is low risk for most STDs and zero risk for some -- but certainly she is at least at small risk from oral-genital contact with her clients.  Low risk also means not having sex with pimps or others who make money off of them.  (The biggest STD risk to most commercial sex workers probably comes from their regular boyfriends or pimps, not their customers.)  However, your partner sounds like she could be at higher risk than some escorts.  Five partners in a day is a lot.

Perhaps most important, the practices you describe are low risk.  Fingering, hand-genital contact, and kissing are no risk at all, for practical purposes. As noted above, oral sex would be low risk, but not zero.  Condom-protected vaginal sex is zero risk for most STDs (e.g., chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV), low risk for others (syphilis, herpes), and no risk for chlamydia.  There would remain a certain amount of risk for HPV, which probably is quite often transmitted by skin-skin contact above the skin covered by the condom.  On the other hand, everybody gets HPV anyway, and you'll be at no greater risk than from any garden-variety sexual partnership, even a committed monogamous one.

In other words, with the sexual practices you plan, your risk for STDs will be low, but not zero.  If you proceed, and especially if there are numerous such exposures as time passes, I would advise both you and she to have periodic testing (e.g., every few weeks or months) for STDs and HIV.

I hope this has helped.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD
Avatar universal
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