Dear Doctors. First of all many thanks for contributing to what is a great website with lots of very useful guidance and information on a range of health issues.
I have a query relating to very regrettable and thankfully very brief encounter that I had with a UK escort yesterday. Basically the whole thing was over in 10-15 minutes, but it started with us watching each-other masturbate for a couple of minutes (nothing too vigorous and as far as I could tell she didn't insert fingers into herself). She then put a condom on my penis and performed oral sex. I ejaculated into the condom and there were no splits so I have no worries about that.
What I am a little worried about is when she put the condom on my penis. This may have been with the hand she had used to masturbate herself with and she may have also masturbated me briefly prior to putting the condom on to ensure that I was erect - I really can't recall either.
I have to confess to feeling totally ashamed by the whole incident not least because I have always been a very loyal
husband, but on this occasion I got caught up in the spur-of-the-moment. My primary concern is whether I have put myself at risk of an STD and therefore my wife (if we have sex), and whether I need to get tested. Your guidance and advice would be much appreciated - I really just want to be able to put this whole regrettable incident behind me and get back to being a good, loyal and loving husband. Many thanks.
The STD bacteria and viruses evolved to require extremely intimate exposure -- i.e. sex, in the traditional, evolutionary sense -- in order for transmission to occur. In other words, transmission by the kind of sex that leads to reproduction. With no penile penetration into a body orifice, with a condom for oral sex, there is simply no risk. The amount of virus or bacteria that could be carried by other contacts you describe -- e.g., some genital fluids on fingers or saliva etc -- is not sufficient for transmission.
So this was a completely zero risk event for any and all STDs. You do not need testing for anything and can safely have unprotected sex with your wife without putting her at risk. At a personal level, that's what I would do if I were in your circumstances.
So no worries at all. Best wishes in getting back to your personal relationship goals.
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