Scared to death / STD possibility ?

[MikeLaneNJ]

scared to death that I gave my wife "something" She started complaining this week of bad cramps with sharp pains in lower abdomen especially when you touch / press her belly button .. it's either a coincidence or karma and the internet has me ready to die from stress and guilt.  People keep asking me if I'm OK .. but is she ok?  She thought it was digestive bloating that now feels more "feminine" according to her My story 42 Year old male .. I'v only been sexually active with one woman (wife) In June of  2009 and October 2010 I received Oral sex (unproductive) from the same woman that I knew during a tumultuous time,my poor wife is not aware of it. In May of 2011 7 months after the last episode / faletio I was given Duricef for a seemingly UTI (burning pee) it cleared up in 3 or 4 days Three years later  November 2013 again a slight burning pee, but went away on its own after maybe 5 days or so I have always, however had a swollen epididymis and really I think I've had this for at least four or five years with Zero pain or any discomfort.  And it translluminates when you shine a light goes right through the mass and appears as a red glow only the veins show up dark with the light pretty sure I've had this prior to the episode but can't really remember. even today I contacted the woman (still friends sort of) and she claims no STD's .. (maybe she lied)?Scared to death so I'll ask what are the odds that I had an STD all along and never knew from oral?  Could I have caught something in October 2010, felt burning 7 months later in May 2011, got rid of it accidentally or kept it at bay with Duricef only to have it return last month for 5 days? I have no symptoms /discomfort at all right now (though psychosomatic symptoms are in full strength I think)  … just a still swollen epididymis that I never really knew what it was nor even think about much because I never have pain and I always assumed it was a cyst or something filled with liquid … I have never been so depressed

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I don't know how many times I have to tell you- you are not at risk and did not infect your wife.  This will be my final answer.  There is no risk for infection of any sort from touching a woman's vagina. - none!!!!

Get over it.  you did not cause yor wife's problem.  EWH

[MikeLaneNJ]

Thanks again , I guess how quickly is the gray area but one can assume that quicker then two or three years based on your opening reply (I hope) ? I never mentioned that I did touch this woman's Virginia with my fingers, is that a risk? My wife is definitely showing signs of something and I can't live with myself if its because of me .. sorry to drag this out it helps to discuss

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Yes they can fight  off infection without antibiotics.  How quickly is difficult to quantify since, as you might imagine, it would be unethical to study what happens in people who are known to be infected.  

[MikeLaneNJ]

Ha Fair enough .. Then can I ask, can people who are infected fight off/clear sti's such as chlamydia and gonorrhea after time without meds and if so how long does that take?  And again thank you

[Edward W Hook, MD]

This is a repetitive question.  It does not change my opinion or advice.  EWH

[MikeLaneNJ]

Thank you dr.  So you don't think the burning urination in 2011 had a relation to the 2010 ( episode ) 6/7 months previous?  I was worried that maybe she was infected then and it came out now? Or it came back and I infected her.  Weird that I had burning pee twice in two years or so (though this one went away on its own) do hydrcoeles (feels like a smaller third testicle connected to the tube) carry bacteria? Sounds nuts but I have battled a sore redish sensitive "hot spot) on the tip of my tounge that is getting better since November.. so you can imagine what I'm thinking "we keep giving it back and forth to eath other". Std's can actually go away in their own (immune system) like other bacterial infections?  I thought they stay in your body for over two and three years (Internet)

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum. Guilt is far, far more long lived than most STIs.  I would not be the least bit worried that you got "something: from the two episodes of oral sex you received years ago and passed it on to your wife to cause her current problems.  Please do not worry and please, please stay off the internet- it will only fuel your anxiety..

The problem with your epididymis is a classical description of the problem that we call a hydrocoele (this you might look up on the internet, just no more STI "research" please).  Most hydrocoeles are benign and can easily be delt with by a urologist if you have a concern.  

I hope this comment is helpful to you.  Your wife's current problem is not something you gave her several years ago.  EWH