Stupid experience in Thailand

[worriedsick_2009]

Dear Dr:

I made a stupid judgment call while in Thailand recently for a business trip.  I am 40 years old and heterosexual with no history of STDs of any kind. While in Thailand in October 08, I had two encounters with massage ladies who come to your room in the hotel.  During the first encounter, the girl massaged me while sitting on my back with her clothes on and I had my underware (boxers on). She turned me over and I (stupidly) asked her to remove her clothes and my clothes.  She then sat on top of me completely naked and and massaged me.  I was completely naked and so was she with only a white towel covering my penis.  I ejaculated this way with her on top and a towel between the two of us. She cleaned up the discharge and left.  

The second encounter was again with a girl that came to the room for a "massage" and she was completely clothed and massaged me while I was completely naked and then gave me oral sex.  She used a codom with she provided and used her hands to put it on and take it off.  

I am completely terrifed and scared to death.  I have come clean and told my girlfriend of 15 years and this is the first time anything like this has ever happened.  

Please help by advising me of what STDs I have been exposed to.  I was completely stupid and not thinking after drinking.  I had an HIV test early April (this happened in October 08) and and infectious disease work up (my girlfriend and I are in the process of IVF and it was required).  My tests all came back normal but my girlfriend had a reactive response to the ELSE test. They thought it was a fluke/ false positive and then tested her with a Western Blot which came back normal.  

I am terrrified of possible exposure.  Please help

Sincerely,
Worriedsick

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Welcome to the STD forum.

You can relax.  They call them STDs because you have to have sex to catch them -- and you did not.  Without unprotected insertion of your penis into a body orifice (vagina, rectum, mouth), there was no significant risk for any STD, including HIV.  

False positive HIV ELISA tests are fairly common.  The confirmatory (Western blot) tests in such cases are 100% reliable:  your partner does not have HIV and her false positive test result has nothing at all to do with your massage events in Thailand.  From a disease transmission perspective, there was no need to inform your partner of the massage events.  (Of course it might have been a good idea to help you deal with your guilt about it.  But that's a different issue and I'm not a relationship counselor.)

Regards--  HHH, MD

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

I have to admit I missed the oral sex component of the second massage.  But even without a condom, oral sex is very low risk for all STDs and zero risk, for practical purposes, for HIV.  With a condom the risk truly was zero and my reply above stands unchanged.  It is certainly possible to transmit herpes without symptoms, but not by the sorts of contact you describe.

That should end this thread.  Good luck for successful conception.  It is not threatened by your Thai massage events.

[worriedsick_2009]

Thank you so much for you very fast response.  I have been worried sick and terrified at not only what I've done emotionially to my partner but the possiblility of STDs which can be deadly.  Especially, I was worried because of the false positive ELISA test and risk of contracting herpes  or something else from the oral sex. Even though I used a condom, I was worried about the quality of it (she provided it). I had read that an  infected person with herpes can show no sign of symptoms and still pass on the disease.

My partner has also been having some pelvic discomfort which my guilt related to what I did but is more likely hormonal due to IVF.

Again,
Thank you for your help and your very fast response