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Avatar universal



I accidently posted in another forum, my mistake.

It has been a while since I have been on this forum and I must say the fees have certainly increased.

I have been celibate and I mean celibate for two years.

This celibacy was recently broken with a fellow co-worker at a 'before the school year starts and the crazy kids come back' party. (3 days ago)  Both my co-worker and I were DRUNK and the sex lasted about 5-10 minutes, no protection. Aside from our stupidity and complete lapse in judgment, we discussed our sexual health, he is married and was worried about taking something home to his wife, his only partner for the past 25 years, and I was last screened for STDs, including HIV in 2011. I saw no lesions on his penis that would have given a red flag, then again, it was dark. He did mention that he puts powder on his penis to soak up sweat.

He did not ejaculate in me, he pushed me off so he could finish. When I discussed pre-ejaculatory fluids can be present, despite the actual ejaculation. He said, I had a vasectomy 23 years ago.

I just nodded as I got up to use the bathroom and noticed a little bit of blood and mucus, when I wiped my vagina with the toilet paper. I attributed the presence of blood to friction and the lack of enough natural lubrication.

We are both African Americans, in Denver CO. I am 31, he is 45. He suffers from MS and is on a weekly injection, along with a brain lesion that is drained once a month. He seems to go to the doctor pretty regularly.

I do not know his wife's history!

The only thing I have noticed is a little irritation when I try to urinate, a mellow burning sensation and a small  amount of itching. There is no odd smell or discharge.

Given that both he and I claim:
No presence of STD, including HIV or Herpes

Would it be necessary to run out and get an STD panel run.

Thank you!

PS. Condoms, I know I should carry one in my purse
3 Responses
239123 tn?1267651214
Welcome back to the forum.

Assuming both your and your partner's sexual histories are accurate, this was a low risk encounter.  Of course I have no way of knowing whether he is the sort of person who would mislead you about it, or his wife's sexual history.  However, as you likely know, it's quite a bit less common for married women than men to have extramarital relationships.  Your age also is a statistical factor in your favor:  both you and your partner (and, I would guess, his wife) are at ages when STDs are quite uncommon; the large majority of STDs are acquired well before age 30.  Your partner's MS and treatment for it shouldn't make any difference in risk.

Your symptoms sound mild and nonspecific.  But if they are new for you and they continue more than a few days, or if you develop new symptoms like genital area sores or discharge, of course get professionally evaluated.  But based on the information available at the moment, I see no need for STD testing.  Of course, this is no guarantee.  If you find yourself continuing to worry about it, getting tested is often the quickest way to move on.  If you are tested, however, you don't need a broad "STD panel".  The only testing I would recommend, if any is done at all, are a urine test for gonrrhea and chlamydia and, after a few weeks, blood tests for HIV and syphilis.

I hope this has helped.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD
Avatar universal
Thank you for your prompt reply, aside from a cold virus that has developed in the past 5 days, I have had no further symptoms from my encounter. (No high fever or rash, it feels like a classic cold with drainage, sore throat, aches and chills) The guy developed a sinus infection this past week and I am telling myself that this is the start of cold/flu season and we work in a school.

I have been checking the forums on and off and you and your fellow moderator mention that most heterosexuals do not lie about their STI/HIV status and most do not have an actual disease. With that being said, because it has been 2 years since my last test, I will be getting tested in October, that was the earliest for a full women's wellness exam. I will follow your advice to get checked for the basic and most prominent STIs and HIV including syphilis. Along with the standard pap smear!

He and I are still friends and we both apologized for losing our heads. He feels like crap because he is married, he has been very adamant that he has never faltered, in the past 18 years. Wow, I learned that I may be the second woman he has cheated with. I explained that I would keep him updated the results of my testing and lets continue to move forward.

I do understand that low risk does not mean 0 risk and I am doing my best to be mature and level-headed. I will also keep you posted when I get tested.

PS, I have stocked up on a box on condoms and I know carry one in my purse, just in case. (This guy excluded)
239123 tn?1267651214
Congratulations on your sober, insightful attitude -- same for your co-worker.  Thanks for the thanks; I'm glad to have helped.
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