Frightened, guilty, and worried.

[john373]

I am a male that has made some stupid decisions.  I'm in a relationship and I fear I have put her at risk.  Today 4/3 I noticed a small red patch on the head of my penis (approx 1/4 inch area).  When showering I noticed it felt different, but it doesn't hurt so I didn't think much of it until I inspected the area closely (as I have been for the last several weeks out of fear).  Upon close review when spreading the skin I see 15-20 tiny red bumps.  The reason for the fear is because I've had 3 contacts with CSW's in the last month.  On March 8th I received unprotected oral.  On March 16th and once on March 21st I had both protected oral and protected vaginal sex.  The condoms remained intact as far as I could tell.  The women I was with on March 16th and the 21st reported they were both disease free when I asked.

This is so frightening because after these experiences I decided to give this up.  I don't want this life and I want to be committed to my wife.  This discovery has me saddened that these experiences may stay with me forever and possibly hurt my wife.  I had unprotected sex with my wife.  Since I had not noticed any symptoms of anything I thought it would be ok.  Please help me understand what I need to do.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

thanks for the follow-up. It sounds as though the clinican you spoke with was thoughtful and careful about your evaluation.  I agree withthe advice you received.

I would add, just as an fyi, that about 10% of persons develop latex allergies which can appear as red rashes, typically within hours of contact.  

EWH

[john373]

I visited a Planned Parenthood clinic and met the MD there.  The local health dept. didn't have testing services available for some reason so I chose this site.  The MD was somewhat careful about making a definitive diagnosis but said that she feels the red area is likely due to either friction or some type of allergic reaction (latex, etc).  I reported that I have not had allergic rx that I'm aware of.  She recommended testing for syphillus, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, HSV-2 and I opted to add in HSV-1 (I was tested ~12 months ago for both HSV 1&2 and was neg for both via blood test).  She seemed more concerned with syphilis since she said she's been tricked before.  But when pressed she felt it was likely just some form of dermatologic condition but wanted to test to be sure (I was very candid about my experiences in the past).  She also rec HIV but I passed on it to wait until I can be sure the test is accurate.  When I made comments about always using condoms when having vaginal sex and implied it's safe she said that "it's safer...not 100% risk free".  I'll update you when I get the results in about 1 weeks time.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Yes, I would anticipate that were this an STD you would see progression with time. this also might happen with benign conditions like yeast infections as well.

Please let us know what the clinic says.  EWH

[john373]

Thank you for your post, I'll follow your advice.  I also wondered if I was noticing normal skin structures that look just a little bit different due to the red background...I don't know.  So that's why I'll go to a clinic as advised.  Is it true, that if this is a STD like Herpes, that it will change and get progressively worse?  If I wake up tomorrow morning and everything is the same, is that a good sign?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to the Forum.  It is impossible and unprofessional to try to make a diagnosis over the internet.  You need to have a knowledgeable clinician take a look.  I would expect the best place to go where you could expect a high degree of confidentiality and be sure to be seen by someone experienced is to go to your local health department STD Clinic. While many of our clients would prefer to be seen by their private doctors, if this (going to the health department) is a possibility it is more likely to result in an accurate diagnosis.  Most general practitioners really do not have a vast experience in looking at genital lesions and wind up just guessing as to what is going on.  If you can get a more definitive opinion it will be helpful to you.

The exposure you describe is low risk. There is almost no risk associated with condom protected sex and few STDs are spread by receipt of unprotected oral sex.  

What you describe does not sound like a typical STD.  We could generate a long list of possibilities including that you are noticing normal skin structures which were a bit swollen after a hot shower, a yeast infection, or some other dermatological process such as psoriasis.  Another possibility is that there is irritation due to repeated and perhaps over vigorous self-examination.  My advice is to try to stop looking, don’t manipulate it or apply creams or lotions which will just confuse things and to go get checked out.

Hope this helps.  EWH