Welcome to the Forum. I'll try to help.
Your genital sex was condom protected and, as a result, there is NO meaning risk for HIV or other STDs, This is not a concern. As for receipt of oral sex, oral sex is an inefficient way to transmit STDs. Of the bacterial STDs only gonorrhea and nongonococcal urethritis (NGU) are transmitted through receipt of oral sex; chlamydia is not and without an obvious sore or lesion on your partner’s mouth, the chances of syphilis and herpes is likewise tiny. If you had gotten gonorrhea or NGU you will have most likely develop symptoms of urethritis (penile infection) such as a discharge from the penis or burning on urination. Even if your partner had an STD (any STD and it is likely she did not), most exposures do not lead to infection. In your case, you had a single exposure. I would urge you not to worry. If you wish, you could go to your local STD clinic or health care provider to be tested. I would wait until at least two days after your exposure to seek testing however.
The abrasion on your penis, no matter when it happened does not change things.
There is absolutely NO role for you to that HIV preventative therapy at this time. You do not need it and the risk of side effects is substantial. EWH
Thank you.
I will have the tests. So far, no sign of symptoms you are mentioning.
I will also have to refrain from sex with my wife until I get the allclear. I don't want her to be at risk.
I have one problem though - we have been trying to get pregnant through IVF and are looking at beginning a cycle over the next few weeks. This worries me because of the risk of HIV, where I believe I will need to wait 3 months before testing is reliable. I understand that using ICSI has meant HIV infected males can go through ivf without infecting mother or child. I will do this, or somehow convince my wife to delay this next cycle.
Am I too worried over this given what you have said about my risk of HIV above?
There was no risk of HIV from the contacts you describe. Condom protected genital sex is safe sex. As for oral sex, there are no well documented instances in which HIV had been transmitted though either receipt of or giving oral sex. You have no reason to worry about HIV. EWH
Once again, thank you.
I am still freaking out, but that is my own fault.
Can you tell me how long I must wait to be able to test for herpes or syphilis?
We do not recommend testing for HSV. The tests in such situations are more likely to be falsely positve than to give you useful information. If you do not have an outbreak of lesions withing 14 days of your exposure, you did not get HSV. If you develop lesions, get them tested with swabs for culture or PCR as soon after appearance as reasonable.
As for syphilis, this is quite rare. Again lesions are the key and would appear within about 3 weeks of your exposure. A blood test would provide further definitive evidence at 3 months but without the appearance of lesions, the chances of a positve blood test from a recently acquired infection are miniscule. EWH