Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.
Even without a condom, oral sex is low risk for all STDs and zero risk for some. STD testing is generally not recommended after such exposures, unless required emotionally for reassurance. Here is a recent thread that explains in detail, plus other links in that thread:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/oral-sex-question/show/2159728
To your specific questions:
1) No, lotions typically don't weaken condoms, unless oil based. And even with oil, it the condom doesn't break wide open, protection is complete. There is no such thing as microscopic leaks that allow STD transmission; that's an urban myth.
2) Such brief, fleeting contact is entirely free of STD risk.
3,6) No STD causes such symptoms -- and in any case, no infection can cause symptoms in 36 hours. 2-3 days is the minimum, even for non-STD infections like common colds. Your own suspicion of anxiety sounds most likely.
4) In this circumstance, testing for herpes would be a waste of money, time and energy. Don't do it,
5) Hand-genital contact never transmits STD. Here's another thread to read:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Any-STD-Risk-from-Stripper-Touching-Handjob/show/2173021
7) You are at risk for no STDs from this event.
Please read the other threads. And stop worrying. Don't confuse your guilt or anxiety over a regretted sexual choice with STD risk from that choice. They aren't the same.
I hope these comments are helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD