You have been through a lot, and you and your boyfriend have my sympathies. But as you undoubtedly understand, with such a complex sequence of events, it is risky for me to speculate about the cause(s) of your problems. However, I wonder about a yeast infection that is resistant to the usual antifungal creams and antibiotics. If you haven't been checked for that, you should raise it with your providers. (That diagnosis requires a culture test for yeasts, not just examining discharge under the microscope, the usual approach to diagnosing vaginal yeast infections.) To your specific questions:
1) I do not believe any of this has anything whatsoever to do with your partner's oral sex encounter. That includes not only your symptoms, but his scrotal pain and the diagnosis of prostatitis--which to my knowledge has never been linked to oral sex.
2) Neither your symptoms nor your partner's sound like herpes. However, herpes can be highly atypical and it would not be unreasonable for you and your partner to be tested for it. I predict you both will be negative for HSV-2, but if positive, perhaps your providers would try antiherpetic therapy to see if it improves your symptoms. But don't count on this as the answer.
3) I do not believe you are suffering "ping pong" infection. However, it is conceivable that some of your symptoms could be related to exposure to his semen. For example, your "bacterial infection" might have been bacterial vaginosis. BV is often referred to as a sexually "associated" (but not "transmitted") infection, and in some women it may be triggered by semen exposure. In any case, it wouldn't hurt for you and your partner to use condoms 100% of the time for several weeks, just to see if it has an effect on your symptoms.
Finally, if the specialists you have seen have not included an expert in both ObG and infectious diseases, you should look into that possibility. Although formally trained ID specialists aren't common in the ObG world, such expertise often can be found at academic medical centers.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Thanksyou, that makes me feel so much better.
We're not sure about getting tested for herpes... it's expensive, and we don't have the money right now. He said that the other woman was clean as they were friends and he believes her. He doesn't recall seeing any sores or anything on her regardless.
I'm going to my doctor's tomorrow (thank God).