Worried: Fever and Sore Throat 3 weeks after exposure

[ScaredandWorriedToDeath]

Doctor,
I'm a 36 yr old married man with kids.
3.5 weeks back I got oral sex from a gay man.
That was the stupidest thing I ever did.
The man sucked me and also fingered my anus.
I also took his penis in my mouth and stopped after taking in and out for 3 times.
Today I started experiencing fever and sore throat.
As the time this occured is too short for testing for HIV, I'm dying out of fear. I initially feared about other STDs like Herpes. But now after the onset of fever and sore throat I'm mortified about HIV.
1) I'm having painful urination for the past 2 weeks. I was worried about Herpes. But now Herpes does not frighten me.
2) As I'm having fever and sore throat, are these symptoms of a possible HIV infection?
3) I know that you recommend against PCR by DNA test, but I signed up for the test.
4) If I go for the HIV antibody test after 4 weeks, how reliable will the test be. I know that you recommend 6 weeks.
Please advise me what I should be doing

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

"Thrush and white plaque" doesn't change my response and advice above:  the lab test results will be much more reliable indicators for or against HIV infection than any symptoms.  Thrush means yeast infection, which you cannot know you have without a professional exam; white-coated tongue is not thrush and usually not due to yeast.  I don't know what to make of "white plaque on gums".

HHH, MD

[madan]

Doctor,
Thanks for the prompt response.

[madan]

Doctor,
My list of worries is increasing within the same day.
I started feeling nausea.
I'm really concerned.
Totally I have the following symptoms:
1.Fever
2. Musle Aches.
3. Sore Throat
4. White tongue
5. Nausea
6. Fatigue

All these are causing me lot of anxiety and stress. The testing is a long drawn process. I'm on the edge here. Please help me.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Sorry, but I am not responsible to resolve your anxiety.  But it seems sufficiently severe that you should ask your primary health care provider whether you need to see a mental health professional.  I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.

HHH, MD

[Rich UK]

I had many of those symptoms - white tongue, achy legs, swollen glands, massive anxiety, it went on for 4 weeks, but it was not HIV. When you browse the internet (which anyone visiting a forum like this is probably doing) for medical conditions you'll see that they continually say that white spots in the mouth are a strong indicator of hiv. Then you become more anxious and convince yourself its hiv. I did anyway. But when I spoke to the experts at the clinic they said that oral candidiasis DOES NOT just mean hiv. In my case it didn't - no hiv. The doc here is very expereienced and has said in many forums that any symptoms (including white spots in on the tongue) do not equal hiv. Anxiety exasperates pre-existing conditions and inbalances within the body, I've been there - hang in there.

[madan]

Rich,
Thanks for the kind words.
I am a desparate man who wants to dodge the bullet.
What concerned me was the fever, sore throat, white tongue and nausea.
I am under lot of stress and anxiety these days.
First I was worried about herpes. Now about HIV.
I have not been sleeping for more than 4 hours since the last 3.5 weeks. Sometimes only 2 hours.
Can somebody get fever and sore throat from stress and anxiety.