Welcome to the forum. FYI, it is only by chance that I am replying. Dr. Hook and I take questions randomly, ignoring request for either of us. Our opinions and advice are always more or less identical, despite differences in style.
The good news is that no STD is a possible explanation for this sort of skin problem. The bad news is that, beyond that, I can't really judge the possible causes.
The only STD that could possibly cause a fairly widespread rash like this is syphilis, but the features you describe are atypical for that STD. And the rash of secondary syphilis can't start sooner than ~3 months after catching the infection. The rash of acute HIV infection also isn't anything like you describe, and would almost always be accompanied by fever, sore throat, and other typical symptoms. Further, syphilis and HIV also are very rare in settings like yours -- and you didn't have intercourse, so you couldn't have caught an STD. Hand-genital contact and fingering are entirely risk-free.
Finally, herpes whitlow doesn't behave this way. Whitlow usually accompanies other obvious initial herpes symptoms; and you already seem to understand the symptoms aren't typical for that problem.
The obvious solution is for you to see your primary care provider (presumably that's the doc or clinic where your boderline diabetes is managed); or contact that office and see if they recommend you go directly to a dermatologist. Most likely it's nothing serious, but direct clinical evaluation is the only way to go. (That is, don't try to continue any efforts to figure it out on line.) In the meantime, you can dismiss herpes, HIV, syphilis, and all other STDs.
Regards-- HHH, MD
Your private physician won't "call the house", especially if you discuss your desire for confidentiality with him. There are federal laws that prevent this and the penalties are large ($5,000 fine). In any case, since your symptoms have absolutely nothing to do with your sexual exposures, it shouldn't be an issue anyway.
There is nothing in your symptoms that suggests you have anything you can transmit to your kids or anyone else.
Dr. Handfield thanks so much for the reply. I think you may have been the only one replying to posts when I first started reading them about 6 years or so ago. I do like the realistic approach of your answers. I actually did have covered intercourse with the massage lady and have had done similar in the past. I just didn’t insert my finger although definitely touched the genitals. I don’t have a cut on my fingers where this happened. I’m not sure why the inside of the index finger although I did pick weeds between those two fingers. Although I have a significant other we don’t sleep together and I see a massage lady every couple of months. It’s the only thing I do every so often. These Asian women do everything covered including oral and intercourse. It’s only recently I started noticing anything. I will definitely cut back on this type of thing because this has sent a chill through me. I started thinking about medicine side effects also. I have been taking Lovaza since the second week of August and I didn’t notice anything at first although I checked the side effects last night and then include: Dermatologic side effects including rashes (1.8%), alopecia, eczema, pruritus, and sweating have been reported. Other side effects including taste perversion (2.7%) and lymphadenopathy have been reported. I will need to check with the primary physician but I worry about confidentiality (they could call the house). I could tell them to look at the problem and not say anything about the extracurricular activities and let them figure it out. I called many dermatologists in order to get an appointment but their first appointments are about month and a week away. I do have a couple of children. Thanks again Dr HHH.