Please try to relax. The nature of your exposure makes herpes VERY unlikely. The virus does not live well outside of the body and in not effectively tranmitted by genital to hand to genital contact.
In addition, let me tell you that you are lucky . She knew she had herpes and told you. This means that she was taking the precautions needed to keep from giving it to you. To put this in context, remember that about 1 in 4 American women have herpes but, of those who do, only 1 in 10 knows it--those are the peole who spread the most infections, not those who know it and disclose to partners.
If you have a sore or open spot, then that could e cultured. But, as you point out, what you ahve now certainly does not sound like herpes. Getting a swab from an area that has already healed is not a good use of time or money. Initial herpes lesions last about two weeks, not two days.
No there is not good blood test for herpes to tell if you good herpes. On average, it takes about three weeks after lesions appear for tests to be positive and in some people it can take as long as 6 months.
Hope this is helpful. EWH
So a quick healing sore does not sound like a prime candidate for Herpes? I noticed the "raw spot" on Tuesday nite, and now it is all about gone. It was never "wet" or puss filled, and never had any soreness or pain. I was hoping it was from the rubbing she did of her hand to my penis with no lub and a lot of rubbing.
1) Would it make any difference on getting herpes if I had any unhealed cuts on my fingers since I had "fingered" her?
2) Should I just keep an eye out for any more sores or places on my penis to be sure? could the sores show up any where else?
Also I have opened up the subject to her just saying that I was nervous about the situation b/c I did not know enough about it.
3) IS there anything you sugest that I ask her about her herpes or medications (she might or might no take) , or outbreaks, or anything of the sort. She has opened herself up with "ask me anything you want", but I am unclear what to ask?
Any other advice you have would be great.
Thanks so so much.
This anonymous medical advice is a priceless help to people...I know it is and has been for me. Thank you. You look ths stuff up online and it is like a roller coaster of scary.
Once again, for starters, the nature of your exposure was low risk. No penetration and indirect exposures at best. All of this makes it unlikely that your acquired herpes. As for your questions:
1. Cuts on your fingers might increase your risk for getting a herpetic whitlow but not herpes of the penis. You said nothing to suggest you got a whitlow.
2. of course you can keep your eyes open for sores. The issue is that you really weren't exposed as noted above.
3. You might ask her if she was taking suppressive antiviral therapy but that's about the only thing of import.
Overall, I think your anxiety is out of proportion to you risk. Your partner is acting responsibly and that is a good thing (as I said before, not everyone would have done so). My advice would be to discuss the issues with her, use condoms, have her consider suppressive therapy but that's really about it. EWH