Losing my trusted doctor

[Want to feel well!!!]

Lately I have not been feeling well, trying to get a new issue sorted out (and we all know how difficult that can be) as it tends to be blamed on the autoimmune disease, but in the midst of all this, I received a letter from my rheumatologist, whom I trust and believer in sooooo much, and he is leaving the US and going back his country of origin.  

It hit me like a ton a bricks.  It took me years to find someone to diagnose me, and now he is leaving.  I will have a final appointment with him in a few weeks, but I am having difficulty with this "loss."  I think had it come during a time when I felt strong and well it would have taken it in stride like I usually do, but it seems like life is throwing a lot at me right now I feel like someone is yanking away my security blanket or something, ya know?

Just venting.

Wanna :o)

[Want to feel well!!!]

Maria...I was talking with my husband this morning and I told him that it suddenly dawned on me that this cardiologist is acting as MY doctor and not just sending me off to another.  He is doing my follow up care after the closure.  I guess I am not used to that. I've been passed around so much, trying to figure out the cause of my collapsing for the past 13 months, and I had kinda lost hope.  

It had become so bad that past few months, collapsing several times a week, becoming weak and losing weight, not at all myself, that I had wondered if I needed an antidepressant to deal with my life, but I kept telling myself what I needed was some HOPE and someone to fix me!  Yes, I was down, but I was running out of hope and it all was due to the lack of care by a so called doctor who threw a tree in my path.  

Fortunately I'm a scrapper!  I'm baaack!  I am taking no c**r**a**p!!!

This is funny...when talking with the cardiologist yesterday, my mind was racing and while he was explaining the procedure I said, "And cycling?  I can cycle?"  He looked puzzled and said, "Yes, but not right away."  Silly, like I would get up and ride through the halls of the hospital?  LOL  

It's like my drug, my passion, and I miss it so, but I can wait knowing I can return to riding and be even more efficient with a heart that works even better.

Again, Thank you for your wonderful hugs and good thoughts.  They all worked.

Have a wonderful day!!!

((((HUGS))))
Wanna :o)

[MrsAristotle]

See what positive thoughts do for you LOL.

I am soooooooooooooooo pleased for you this will be a huge thing for you and will aid your recovery very quickly I am sure of that. To be able to go back and do something you love well it must be wonderful news for you but SLOWLY SLOWLY CATCH THE MONKEY dont you go off doing no marathons in March 2010 now ok?

I am glad you feel more positive you sound different already.

I wish to god that the doctors could see the difference in us when we are treated with respect and are believed that there is something wrong. It changes our whole mental outlook but no they just treat us in the main like ..................go on wait for it...............c**r**a**p

I wont send you a bill for the last big hug and I have decided give 2 FREE lol.

Here is the second one and it is big enough for JIB TOO.

...............................................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMARIAXXXXXX

[Want to feel well!!!]

Hello Girls,

Thank you for your beautiful hugs Maria, and both of you for your wonderful kind words.

I have had quite the day.  I was feeling quite down about losing my rheumy, and I had to get ready for my appointment with my cardiologist for my latest "heart" issue.  

Wanting to keep a stiff upper lip, doing all the self-talk, not wanting to look like a crazy, middle aged woman...you know the drill...anyway, the cardiologist was WONDERFUL.  

This was my second appointment with him, it is a long story how I ended up seeing him, but I had been mishandled by a cardiologist at a large facility...don't want to mention which one just yet...but the new cardiologist had already called another cardiologist at a large facility, went over my test results and determined I met the criteria to close the hole in my heart at the large facility.  

The seizures I have been having are NOT seizures.  They are a mimic, not a true seizure.  I have a hole along with a "floppy atrial wall" (an aneurysm) and one chamber that fills up with way too much blood volume as it pumps, so the hole needs to be closed.

Once the hole is fixed cycling will not be a problem for me anymore and I can go back to riding long distances!!!!  CLAP, CLAP!!!

There was so much good news in that room today I was busting!  I could not believe he made a bold move on my behalf.  I was so impressed.  So, this will all be done in January.  Not too long to wait.

So, I went from feeling so down in the dumps to feeling quite good emotionally.  I want to thank you gals for making me feel so good about my friends here and let you know that you are the best people.

I might not be feeling well physically, but I can get thought the next month and a half on hope and with the help of friends.

I am already thinking ahead about what I want to ask my rheumy about the new guy he will refer me to.  My rheumy is at the Cleveland Clinic and I am sure he will match me up well with one of his colleagues...I will be sure he makes a good match for me.

Again thank you for brightening my day!

(((HUGS)))
Wanna :o)
      

[jibjen]

Want to feel well!

I am sorry to hear your not feeling well. I wish I knew what to say to you to make you feel better..but that was quite a hug from Maria ;o) even I felt it....
I hope you can make the most of your next appointment and trust he will maybe put you in the hands of another good doctor you can trust and get the continuing care you have been getting.

I'll keep you in my thoughts ;o)
Be Well
Jib Jen

[MrsAristotle]

Oh I am sorry its hard isnt it when you are so used to someone and they just know all about you. That is why when I see our local GP I will wait to see my normal GP rather then go to someone I am not used to as it means having to explain all over again why I am there.

I think when you feel ill you need things around you that your comfortable with and not have to face change as it is unsettling for you.

You still have a few weeks left and you will see him one more time. Will he recommend you to someone else? At least you have someone who is on your side and has diagnosed you so your notes going forward will be easy for someone else to take over. It would be even worse if they were all inconclusive.

I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. I know what you mean about the doctors blaming everything that happens to us on our ILLNESS. It does worry me to be honest.

Not everything can be down to that surely?

If you need support but dont want to share you can always send me a private PM.

You know you can vent as much as you like on here that's what its for LOL.

Here is a big hug for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxmariaxxxxxxxxxxxxx