Wow, it sounds like you've worked really hard to hide your real self from others, and that medication hasn't worked so well for you. Great job posting here - please keep it up. I promise to be more active in this group. There wasn't much going on in the group for a long time, and now I am so grateful to see new postings.
I wish you peace,
Victoria
I have similar feelings. i feel like im an antisocial, social person. im the type to stay in the shadows, but always around. i have come to realise that i dont fit in, n no one really knows me. n in all reality, no one can ever really know me, which kind of hurts sometimes. all of the things that stay hidden cuz they're not "normal" or whatnot. i thought i was normal. i thought everyone heard voices, n saw things, n felt things that werent there. i grew up thinking i was normal, just like everyone else. i just kept quiet, cuz i thought it was meant to be a secret. but the secret was that people would look at me oddly when i was young n giggling to myself in the corner. then they gave me medication, that medication made me like a zombie. now im off it all and living my life to the extent i can. im depressed, but i hide it, im bipolar, but i hide it, im schizophrenic, but i hide it. i just wish i could hide from the voices, n hide from the chaos that my mind makes me see. the manicness i witness, even if it is in my head.
sometimes...i just wish i could hide from myself.....