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19028296 tn?1471319138

Is this simply a Lie or Disorder?

After 8 years of peaceful marriage & two beautiful kids, my wife started lying or perceived everything about me negatively. Those days, she would also complain about seeing something in the house (a white painted man). I didn't know about the hallucination thing at that time & would consider it a ghost or something. Anyway, distance started being creating between us, and she started blaming me for baseless things. And which I would try to explain it to her (even in a very nice way), she would become defensive & then get irritated followed by yelling & screaming. When after a day or two I would ask her about her behavior, she would simply say "I hate it when someone tries to prove me wrong". I tried to make her understand the importance of Healthy Communication in such a situation (distance & lack of intimacy) but she would simply say "It's not my cup of tea" and would say "everything is all right, it's just you who is creating problems". On the other hand, I would mostly feel that she is not interested in anything. I would take it personally considering she is not loving me anymore. After two years, the situation got so much worse when in an angry state (hate mode) she complained many things about me to her siblings. Her brother took her to his house despite my repeated request to sit with me to clarify or rectify any misunderstanding. But he was so disrespectful and destructive. When I tried to talk to her other brother, he told me about many blames that my wife was complaining about. I will write down the first five below (it was a list of almost 40 such things). Which were all baseless.

1- He prevented and discouraged me from seeing friends or family,
2- He would get angry if sister1, sister2, mother or father would call me
3- He would get mad if I would go to sister1 or brother's place
4- He wouldn't like if sister1 would come over
5- He wouldn't like it if I would help my sister1 with the kids & bring them to our house

The Facts:

1- Now the fact was that she was an introvert since her college days and everyone knows about it. It was me who would encourage her to make some friends and would bring her international calling cards to call her parents & siblings (back home).
2- This was again a Lie. I don't know where did she bring the second one from. In fact, I was the one who would sometimes request her sister1 to give a call to my wife (her sister) whenever she is free.
3- I was the one who would give her a ride & drop her to her sister1 or brother's place whenever she would express any such desire.
4- This is another Lie. In fact, I would sometimes invite her sisters for BBQ at our place.
5- This is again a Lie. In fact, so many times I helped my wife in taking care of her sister's kids.

Now I don't know where & how did she perceived everything the opposite way. Can it be one of those times when one is upset due to some work problems & so express little anger. And thus she may have perceived it towards something related to her siblings ... I don't know I am just guessing.

Or can it be a disorder. Like Schizophrenia? Just to mention, her father is a Schizophrenic Patient (under treatment). Please help me find out if her so called Negative Perception is clearly her Lies or Is it some Disorder?

2 Responses
675718 tn?1530033033
she is using projection a defense mechanism she guarded a secret. she may have bi polar disorder she must see a medical doctor for treatment and she may need meds like me I have SZ since 07 pills are the way to go I hope this helps K oh I hear voices that have conversations with each other
19028296 tn?1471319138
I would like to add to the Fact of the first blame... 6 years ago, on my wife's request, I let my sister-in-law live with us so that she could complete her higher education. I sacrificed my privacy (let alone financial or other burden). It was just recently when the sister in law moved to her brother's place after 6 years of living with us. Now, how can my wife say something like that? it's out of my understanding.
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675718 tn?1530033033
El Paso, TX
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