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Am I a lesbian?

I'll start from when I was around 12/13 ish. I began comprehensive school and there were a lot of girls there I wanted to be friends with. There was one girl I really wanted to be friends with, when I walked passed her I would act like I didn't see her, but have imaginary conversations with her in my head. There was also another girl that broke her leg while we were on a school skiing trip, I wanted to have that same attention, I wanted to be her friend, and fantasized that I had broken my leg, or I would help her when she did break her leg, also have imaginary conversations with her. When I first saw Vanessa Hudgens in HSM 1, I really wanted to be her friend, and would also have imaginary conversations with her. I would often fantasize that I was saving the damsel in distress, or that there was a big disaster and I was hurt. Because I've been worrying about this so much, I can't really remember how I truly felt, as far as I can remember it wasn't sexual, but I'm afraid that I was just ignorant or didn't realize what I was feeling. I have had crushes on boys, I'm in a relationship right now, and I really don't want to lose him. If someone could clarify things for me a little it would be much appreciated. Thank you
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134578 tn?1642048000
Hi, Georgina.  A couple of things to keep in mind:  if sexuality is a scale of 1 "purely heterosexual" to 10 "purely homosexual," not that many people fall at 1 or 10 on the scale.  There are 9's and 2's and 3's and 5's.  Also, lots of lesbians go through relationships with men before they work out that they don't really resonate emotionally to them.  A close relation of mine is a lesbian, she does not dislike men in any way, nor (apparently) do her friends -- a lot of them have children from marriages [with men] before they came to a full understanding of their sexuality.  (Society's conditioning so strongly informs women that she absolutely must fall in love with a man and marry him, that it can take a while for a woman to work out whether that is true for her or not.)  My relative said once that the biggest clue for her was her early emotional responses (around the time of puberty); who did she love romantically?  She liked her guy friends fine, but her crushes were always on girls.

I don't know where you might fall on the scale of 1 to 10, probably not 1, but is it 2 or 5 or 7?  Try to relax right now with just sitting with the question, leaving your mind open to what revelations might come.  It's not like you have to join one team or the other today and will get in trouble if you guess wrong.  

There are some good websites written for teens about sexuality and figuring out your sexuality.  Don't just write "gay lesbian teen" on the search engine or you'll just get a lot of porn (probably produced for men); look for educational material on human sexuality for teens.  I am certain there are organizations that write it, since teen suicide is often prompted by how isolated someone feels who is gay or lesbian and is a teenager.  I'm sorry but can't remember the name of the national gay and lesbian organizations, but they would be a resource for finding links.  You could also google "GLBT teens" (now, I might have those in the wrong order, but it stands for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community) and see if you can locate material under that heading written for teenagers trying to figure out their sexual orientation.

Good luck.  Don't be stressed, you'll put this together.
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Avatar universal
Hi Georina, So your in love with a boy and you ask if your a lesbian?
I always thought that lesbians did not like men in relationships full stop. in fact the man word does not exsist to a true lesbian,
Look you have thoughts about other girls but like boys, I just think your a bit mixed up, even for you to admire other girls/young women is OK, we all do that at some time weather male or female.
Look just enjoy your life as it is, with your b/f and your be OK
Good Luck
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