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Any suggestions on what this could be? Married virgin

Hi I am a 24 female and married to a 26 male. We have been married for over a year and have never been able to have penetration during sex.

There is plenty of arousal on both sides, there is no lube issue either organically or by some added outside sources, but every time he tries to penetrate it feels like he is hitting a wall inside of me. It just will not fit. And if he tries to press in, I start to get all panicked and freak out.

It hurts especially the walls close to my opening in a stabbing sharp way. I have tried to relax and keep my legs spread far apart and that helps but as soon as he tries to enter my legs and thighs turn to lead. They become unresponsive and hardly move and the nerves in them start to tremble uncontrollably.

It even feels sensitive after we have tried. I can feel where he tried to enter me, even up to 30 minutes after. Obviously this is very frustrating and makes it hard for us to even try.

We were both virgins before we were married. And I never was able to bring myself to put tampons in. I went to a OBGYN after we were married (also was the first time I had ever seen a lady doctor in my life), and I told her our difficulties. She gave me an examination and I had my first Pap smear.

It was painful and it took all I had in me to not jump up from the table and run out the door. She said there was nothing wrong that she could see. And told me to try alcohol free lube! Needless to say I left on the verge of tears, feeling alone and like I had been violated. We have only ever used water based lube.

I have done some research of my symptoms amd the only thing I can come up with is what’s called Vaginismus. The only problem is that it’s extremely rare and is usually in women who have had a trauma usually with something of a sexual nature. I have never been violated in any way that I can remember.

Any chance someone else has had this and can give me some hope that it gets better or any Davy on what to do?
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Avatar universal
I have vaginismus too. exactly same symptoms as yours
Helpful - 0
207091 tn?1337709493
I was thinking vaginismus the entire time I was reading.

Trauma can be a contributor to it, but there is no real known cause for it. Sometimes, the cause isn't ever known. Women who have only had pleasant sexual experiences can develop it.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaginismus/

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15723-vaginismus

Also, we don't really know how many people have it, because a lot of women don't talk about it.

Talk to your doctor and find a doctor and a counselor who specialize in this. There IS help available.
Helpful - 0
20620809 tn?1504362969
I think this DOES sound like vaginisus.  I would talk to your doctor about that and it is not just from trauma. Emotional factors alone can cause it. Sex therapy with a counselor and sometimes vaginal dilators help.  There is also Dyspareunia which involves pain. https://www.healthline.com/health/vaginismus#outlook  And actually, Endometriosis is another possibility.  This too can prevent intercourse, make it painful, etc. If it is behind the vaginal wall, for example.  https://www.webmd.com/women/endometriosis/endometriosis-intimacy

Have you talked to a gynecologist about this for exam?  You need to.
Helpful - 0

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