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Beliefs and acts are contradicting, is that even possible?

I conquered masturbating when my mom died. I went back to the the faith she taught me. I served in the church and was happy. All of a sudden I slipped a little and now I am back to masturbating and hating myself so much. I still teach in the church which makes it more horrible. I need help, I don't want this. I am married and my husband also gives me satisfaction. I don't know why I am watching porn and masturbating when my husband is always in to me. Please I need to change, help.
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Avatar universal
Masturbating is not a bad thing to be shamed of.Its very normal, don't hate your self for that . just try to avoid watching porn. if you don't feel good by masturbating,have intercourse with your husband.when ever you feel of masturbating
Porno makes your expection higher and you do not get satisfied by actual intercourse and masturbation. Yes it is normal to masturbate. You are not harming anyone.Do not carry a guilt on it.Stop watching porno. when ever ther is an urge, concentrate on your breath. Do abdominal breathing or deep breathing. This will reduce the urge to see porno or do masturbation. Google abdominal breath and deep breathing.
Avatar universal
Thank you for the advice. So far, I'm able to avoid porn for a week. Hopefully this change continues. Getting the advice from other people is rather easier to follow, than myself advicing me which I've been doing for months now. Thank you!
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