Lots to unpack. First, stop smoking weed and see if it improves things. I know that isn't easy to just do, as your social world probably all smoke, but if one is prone to anxiety weed can bring it out. It intensifies experiences, which is why you like it, and you know, sex is just amazing on weed, but I can tell you from my own experience, once you learn from using it what that focus feels like, you can learn to tap into it without using it. Takes some doing, but you can. Meditation can help you with that. So that's one experiment you can try. Your problem is a common one that most men suffer at some points in their lives. I had a problem when I was a couple years older than you are that lasted for several months. it went away when I broke up with the woman I had the problem with, and I never had it again until I got old and got prostate surgery, so it was probably something about that young woman. Who knows? I would also give a second suggestion, which is going to be risky because of your young age, and can be even at an older age, but if both of you get tested for all STDs and come out negative, and she's willing to take the burden of the contraceptive such as a diaphragm to prevent pregnancy, ridding you of the condom issue, and the problem goes away, that also solves the problem. But do know, at your age one of you or both of you is very likely to cheat on the other and that will bring in the STD possibility. Almost no relationship at that age lasts forever. So it is a risk not to use a condom, but with regular testing, it can be done, and if that's really the problem, it's something to think about but again, it is risky. But I would tell you, weed today is a drug, not a plant. When I was your age it was a plant. It's very very strong, and your brain isn't yet fully developed. Even with the plant, people including me got problems that came out because of it. It's great when it's great, but not so good when it's not. Which means, an experiment without it wouldn't hurt you any and might actually help. I would counsel that it's something for fun times, and if you need to use it all the time or a lot of the time to enjoy yourself, it's no longer something fun to do, it's now self-medicating. Peace.