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Erectile dysfunction

this is my first post here, so it might be long.
My husband an I are having huge problem. About two years ago my husband developed ED literally in one night. He lost erection during sex and could not get it back for about two months. Many say that it happens to everyone, and we thought so too, that loss of erection is just a fluke. But after a week my husband began to panic. He could not get erection at all, even with masturbation. So he went to doctor. He was diagnosed with hypogonadism. Doctor's advice was - diet and sport or testosterone shots. We decided to up testosterone levels naturally first. To our relieve, after 2 month on strict diet our sex life became as good as it was before. So we thought that T levels became normal and everything is good. Imagine our shock when after four months of good sex, ED came back and it brought "friends" with it. In 2 weeks my husband developed severe ED, PE, lack of orgasmic sensation and absence of libido. So, back to doctor he went. His blood work showed that he is very low on testosterone. Doctor inserted Testopel pills. First six weeks on it were pure nightmare. My husband did not get ANY of original symptoms cured, AND he developed new ones. He had anxiety, panic attacks, palpitations, insomnia, horrible nightmares (when he managed to fall asleep), mood swings. He went back to urologist, but got "I never had patients with reaction like yours, it's all in your head" and "go see the sex therapist. Your levels are fine"
In about two month after insertion, ED and all panic attacks, insomnia etc. went away, but the rest of symptoms did not. He had no sex drive, no orgasm, our sex was literally 30 seconds before he ejaculated.
After Testopel wore off, we started looking at other therapies. My husband went to 3 uros, 2 endos, age clinic, hormone therapy guru, psychiatrist, general physician. He's done MRI, penile ultrasound - you name it. He is scheduled to see a neurologist. He tried to restart testosterone production, he tried an HCG therapy, which basically tells testicles to work more and produce testosterone. All produced NO relieve.
He tried injections (cypionate, propionate, HCG and all possible combinations of three), gel, Testopel. He changed dose and injections frequency. He tried every male enhancement herb possible. Vitamins, teas, pills. He even did genetic testing.  
The worst thing is - he developed ED again, which would not go away for 7 months now. And also a new symptom - his penis started to shrink. The same uro that "did not have any patients that had severe side effects", said "your penis looks fine to me - go see a shrink. Here is viagra coupon".
My husband's other hormones are fine. His comprehensive blood work shows that he is as healthy as a horse. All levels of every stinking measurement are right in the middle of range. Thyroids are fine, testosterone is in upper 600s, metabolic tests - good, insulin - great, cholesterol - went down. But all symptoms are still THERE. He has no libido, PE, ED, no orgasmic sensation - no improvements at all. This is breaking him, our family.
Any guys with the same or maybe some of the problems? Do you have any advice where to look? Which doctor to go to?
It really ***** that treatment that is designed to cure sexual problem does exactly opposite to my husband. He is now in deeper s#$& than when he just started testosterone therapy. Any, even the craziest idea will be a big help now......
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Avatar universal
thank you everyone for ideas. We've considered them before.
Yes, he is taking Viagra when needed , but it does not make you want sex nor get orgasmic satisfaction. My husband does ejaculate, but has no pleasure.
It does not matter which way he gets erection, there is no good feeling. His problem is not only ED, but the whole bunch of other sexual problems. So, there is no performance anxiety. Something weird is going on, but we don't know what is it.
No, he does not go to therapist - after two visits, we DO know what they are. None of them are even have medical degree. Therapist my husband went to has education degree and "sexual therapist" certificate of some sort. My personal opinion, if you want to help people, offering therapy, get a psychology degree. Otherwise, you're just saying our troubles out loud to a person and paying for it 100$/hr. To be honest, as crazy as it sounds, I have the same result (relieve or not) with my troubles when I talk to my cat. It's free, and he is a very good listener and he purrs :-). But it's just me, many people may disagree with me.
I like the idea about the yoga. I offered my husband to do it together a while ago and still throw it in the conversation from time to time. For some reason, this is one of the things that he rejects. As well as the meditation. And he would not give me the plausible reason(just "I won't do this"). He has many people telling him to meditate, but he just wont.
I also read on internet that certain essential oils will help to restore  sexual life. I bought them all. I try them one by one. Weirdly, the ones that are claimed to be more potent, smell so awful to me :-).
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139792 tn?1498585650
You may visit a yoga teacher. Kundalini yoga is meant for increasing sexual power and channelize into right place. Taoist yoga is also on the same line.Few techniques one can do are as under. Google these words and learn these technique/ Pick up few liked by your husband.
Sat kriya   (satkriya) increses sexual energy.
Male Dear Exercise.may restore the sexual balance in a month.
Kegel exercise.
Internal and external massage of prostate. There are 4 types of massage.Search this forum where you will find some further useful techniques.Doing meditaion will help him to control his mind. You are lucky that your husband is ready for the treatment. Many a time male will try to find fault with female to hide his weakens. you will get many ideas in a book -100 days practice to better health,good sex and long life by Eric Steven Yudelove.previes of this book is available in Amazon.com or in Google.This is one of the best book on the subject.
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Avatar universal

Can he masturbate? does he have any fantasies? Erotica? Fetishes? he should try and see if he can get a hard on with some stimulant when alone. I have seen cases where the men feels too much of pressure of performance and fails. Most of the time it is self induced.

Stop going to therapists, unless you are sure that you need one. They will suck you of monies. if he can masturbate then you have a winner on hand.  you just need to help him build some confidence.  
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Avatar universal
That's what puzzles the most - why is it so sudden, why did sexual function returned  and why did dysfunction came back at quadruple force.....
This is not psychological ( maybe partially - depression, which totally understandable). Before everything happened, life was good. When all returned, life was good. No reason at all for bad stuff. Also, he has inconsistent/ absent night and morning erections. Which kind of indicates physiological cause. Our problem is right now - we don't know what is the source of my husband's condition. As I mentioned in my post, he is healthy on paper, but feels miserable. I understand how he feels. I was taking BC pills at one point and had NO libido, could not reach orgasm at all. My cure was to get off the pills, getting hormones back in order. But he tried this approach - got off TRT - still "nada", got on therapy, tried all testosterone levels from 300 to 1200 - "zip". None of his symptoms got cured.
Ashstark, I appreciate the suggestion about the talk and stuff. Believe me, we tried all of it. We had nice talks, fights, no talks... Unfortunately, we cannot cure my husband with talk :-(. If only it would be that easy....
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Avatar universal
I am quite surprised with the sudden loss of sexual appetite with your husband. As far as i know it is always gradual. I think it is more psychological then physical. Best is to take a break and go for a holiday and talk it over a nice romantic evening with candle light dinner and a glass of wine.
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Avatar universal
thank you NJdad,
we need that luck.
A for the childhood trauma.... if something happened, I'd know by now. He sure was under stress for last years ( we all were and are), but would not stress impacted sexual function more gradually? Not like a light switch for sure.
We are so puzzled about what happened initially, why everything  improved without medical help, and why all bad stuff came back in quadruple ?
At this point we are looking for anything that will lift at least one of the symptoms, so we have a hope. We do not believe that the problem(s) is psychological. I can see that when there are signs of an improvement, my husband is less depressed and less anxious. He also did have two appointments with the "sex therapist". I put it in quotes, because those visits were pure waste of time, money and hope. The therapist during two sessions was telling my husband how to have sex. Not getting into depths of why he cannot enjoy it.
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Avatar universal
I am no where near any sort of mental health expert,but something happened to your husband when he was child,that came full circle or some other tramatic episode.Your husband just doesn't go from being sexually healthy to impotent...his vitals shouldn't plummet in just that short of time,it is a gradual process. With that said,why don't you lie down in bed with him tonight,get him relaxed and ask him if anything happened to him as child or whats going on.Do yourself a favor though, to get positive results...don't freak out on the poor guy,because that would make him even worse mentally.If it is indeed a childhood issue or tramatic experience,then maybe he needs to see a therapist.You seem concerned enough about him to come on here for advice and all the medical professionals you have seen.Have you ever heard "kindness is the finest form of therapy"? Try it and see that happens.Even if he resists,probe him to let it out...you might be surprised.Be well and good luck
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139792 tn?1498585650
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