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First time? Vaginismus?

My boyfriend and I are both virgins and have recently tried to have sex but could not seem to get his penis inserted. At first I wasn't really concerned with it, figuring we're just having normal issues, but I started searching for what the problem could be and ran up on something called vaginismus. From what I can gather it is suppose to cause pain when inserting a tampon, finger, or penis. I have always been able to insert tampons with no pain, and my boyfriend has fingered me, for a short period of time only, and it has only caused mild discomfort. I'm assuming the fingering part is normal considering I'm a virgin. But why can't we get his penis to go in? How likely is it that I have vaginismus? What is the problem? Please help, I've really been freaking myself out with all of this. I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18 so I don't want to get my mom to take me to a gynecologist to get this checked out. Can you please just tell me if I have any reason to worry and how I can makeour sexual experience easier?
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Avatar universal
COMMUNITY LEADER
I hope you're using protection since you can get pregnant your first time. Either condoms or birth control. It's not uncommon to have this problem your first time because since you're a virgin the vagina is very tight. I would recommend a water based lubrication. This will make things much easier and can keep you from tearing. Small tears can happen if it's your first time or there is not enough natural lubrication. You can buy KY Jelly at almost any store in the condom section.
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